By morethanredhands - 21/05/2012 05:56

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 750
You deserved it 7 817

Same thing different taste

Top comments


Some people have a really dirty mind. You could always have clarified that you was just drumming your thigh and not masturbating, and I thought there was a decent difference in the sound produced.. Fyl

Sirin, Alan, didi? Sorry to ask for a favor again, I just found out that talking to a person while commenting on a FML is a bad idea, so would be nice if you deletes the comment I made :)

Lifes_a_bust 0
Andrew910 5

Probably either "beat it" or "when I think about you I touch myself".

afunnyterdcody 5

Well I mastrubate in the stall and don't think of people that might think I'm drumming my thighs

klovemachine 24

All these answers are funny :D

PuffDaddy395 3

Why the hell would you ruin the chain of funny comments?^ And when I ********** in the stall, I leave the door open so that there is no question as to whether I'm beating my dick, or drumming on my thighs.

shift_love 13

Jackety jackety jackety jack spankity spankity smackity smack

Flipity Flopity, Fapity Fap, When I sit down to poo, I tap my lap.

Boygenius50 8
anoellem 1
natas_fml 13

Spankin' it for the looooord

Wonder is he was tapping "When I Think About You I Touch Myself" XD

63- okay, that's taking the joke a little to far there

Did anyone favorite this..? Hahaha

Shout out "FAP FAP FAP". They'll realize you're not masturbating. I hope. If not, it's going to be awkward explaining that to the head teacher.

alexk92 6

Hmm, who said he was at school?

challan 19

Damn, I'm too slow! Lol fap fap fap

Or even better, OP should start moaning in an erotic manner. That will definitely convince them he's not fapping.

The head teacher... heh... hehehehe...

37 - There's no such thing as too slow!

AHAHAHA, actullay thanks I will know to never do this.

This was both pointless and barely legible.

tony1891 22

don't play with that. you'll go blind!

Funny, I remember my mother saying that to me when I was a kid, only difference is she said it will fall off -.-

Ever told that you couldn't ever pee again and it will stay in your body?

It'll fall into a different dimension, where wild dingos will feast upon it.

cropper 0

Just play with it till u need glasses.

aquaparis1 0

Lol no u won't that's a lie

Should have just said, "**** it!" and started masturbating. They already think you're a pervert, so you should at least get an ****** out of it.

When in doubt, crack one out. ^ Live by that and you will succeed.

trippythehippy 6

You say pervert like its a bad thing...

In a musical, Op would keep making beats while masterbating, then start rapping/singing. "Masterbating in the bathroom! Cause you think I'm a creep When I'm only making beats Well now I'm making beats while I'm beating my meat Now everybody thinks I'm a creep!"

I always say when in doubt rub one out.

I want to like this but 69 is a good number.

I don't know too many people who would ********** in public, so I doubt that people would jump to that conclusion; but then again, I could be wrong.

dramakween515 5

When I was in high school There was a crazy masterbater he did it in my class! And in the boys room. I think he had like issues though

45) I think what you are looking for here is C.M.D, compulsive masturbation disorder.

liaxoxox 2

Actually this kid at my school just got suspended for 10 days for masturbating in school

Keattles 14

17- why would anyone care if he was at his house "drumming on his thighs?" I think OP would only think this because he is at a public place or somewhere other than home.

O_O what ever happened to maturbation in privacy? People have no shame nowadays. Smh.

Why are there people listening to you using the bathroom?

Probably because they started hearing fapping noises and were curious.

aznbiznitch666 4

Ok not that I make it a habit of listening to people in the bathroom but when I hear farting noises I try and hurry up and get done. I do not want to get stuck smelling someone caught in a shit storm.

As long as your not moaning i think your fine :P