Embarrassing, Roommate, Awkward and Wanker: But I didn't! I wasn't!

But I didn't! I wasn't!

By I didn't though - 10/09/2015 04:07 - United States

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 864

You deserved it 2 847

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

What a jerk!

By traumatized house keeper - 08/09/2017 13:00 - Germany - Munster

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 472

You deserved it 427

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 521

You deserved it 3 885

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 998

You deserved it 3 007

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 12 091

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 4 725

FML: Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 736

You deserved it 4 423

Get in there!

By Menareidiots - 24/02/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 817

You deserved it 22 723

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 8 031

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 265

By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 555

You deserved it 1 630

Bricktothehead 21

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:42

He was facing the wall, in bed, while he listened to someone grunting behind him. I get the feeling he may have been the one spanking the monkey.

bwoolf96 21

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:37

What a wanker.

Comments

bwoolf96 21

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:37

What a wanker.

jakers8424 18

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:37

How many did you do

RenoTheRhino 30

Thursday 10 September 2015 17:24

Exactly 9.3 push-ups.

Roskie 16

Thursday 10 September 2015 17:51

All of them.

ErikSenpai 3

Friday 11 September 2015 7:44

I'm crying

earlytermination 34

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:41

Lol that guy sounds lame. Sorry OP.

Bricktothehead 21

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:42

He was facing the wall, in bed, while he listened to someone grunting behind him. I get the feeling he may have been the one spanking the monkey.

Perplexed_Aris 16

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:44

I'm sure you can clear things out with him, right? Plus, I'd imagine there'd be more than just grunting noises if OP was really sacking his chum..

vikky538 28

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:44

Can't be undone now!

rainbowsRlove 15

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:45

haha next time do jumping jacks no confusion there....at least not from my experiences lol

militarybrat 21

Friday 11 September 2015 5:12

Think about the sounds. Grunting and slapping skin...

BrutalEater 15

Friday 11 September 2015 7:28

That made me laugh and face palm xD

ChunkyBuiscuit 13

Thursday 10 September 2015 14:49

Mistaking push-ups for beating it? That person has a lot to learn

grimboots 3

Thursday 10 September 2015 15:02

You may be doing push ups wrong!

invadermaythe1st 35

Thursday 10 September 2015 18:04

No, I think his room mate is masturbating wrong.

gosh_mate 30

Thursday 10 September 2015 15:09

Just tell everyone the truth. It's your word against his... Also does anyone else think this FML could be worded better? With 'the guy' starting 2 sentences in a row.