By FML Videos - United States - New York

Crushing Hard

Crushed it! (The bag of groceries, of course.)

Favorite

Dangling modifier

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

A new enemy

By gummy bear

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks

17487

You deserved it

30835

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By BaMiTsAnYa - United States - Orlando

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45081

You deserved it

12816

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By hborkowski - United States - Asheville

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39678

You deserved it

3191

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By Anonymous

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4181

You deserved it

3269

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By fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25239

You deserved it

3805

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By :(

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32098

You deserved it

7066

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By Chels - United States

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40031

You deserved it

2923

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By 3 More Months - United States - Stanford

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49311

You deserved it

3723

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By unknown951

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33566

You deserved it

4744

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By Anonymous - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31626

You deserved it

3225

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By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14439

You deserved it

2175

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By Pedro the Basuraman

Heist

Today, after 27 years of dedicated and loyal service, it finally happened, I was robbed at gunpoint at work. The whole heist only took about 30 seconds and the perpetrator took off without taking anything from me. I still don't get it. What kind of screwball would hijack a garbage truck? FML

I agree, your life sucks

4171

You deserved it

184

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By nicbear

Today, I was fired from my job over a coupon a coworker offered me for bonus reward points. Apparently, it wasn't one I was entitled to. I never even looked at the coupon and assumed it was fine since they offered it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4074

You deserved it

476

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By super maman - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43610

You deserved it

5462

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28314

You deserved it

2988

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By for fuck sake dad - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33868

You deserved it

3440

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By Joe - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34618

You deserved it

22331

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By JStein - United States - Hampshire

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32267

You deserved it

8929

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27580

You deserved it

8613

Favorite

By srs

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2975

You deserved it

477

Favorite

By turnmyphoneoff

The Phone Call

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1740

You deserved it

183

Favorite

By scottishoatmeal - United Kingdom - Auchterarder

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17153

You deserved it

12046

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By sadmom

What are you doing here?

Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1571

You deserved it

374

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By ohfantastic - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25600

You deserved it

2351

Favorite

By infected - Denmark

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10607

You deserved it

43466

Favorite

By MrLonelyHertz - United States - Kingman

Today, I sat down for class. The second I sat down, the guy next to me stood up and moved all the way to the other side of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12549

You deserved it

1276

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35857

You deserved it

3965

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By birthday girl - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41813

You deserved it

4155

Favorite

By nowork - United States - Liverpool

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59234

You deserved it

7709

Favorite

By thatsasquee - Canada

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45253

You deserved it

5758

Favorite

By Sad Mom - United States - Wylie

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31769

You deserved it

5459

Favorite

By anna - 15/5/2021 07:58

Ace in the hole

Today, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero desire for sex. I’m well into my 20s and not a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

749

You deserved it

124

Favorite

By allycat - United States

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32491

You deserved it

2683

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By Anonymous - 23/5/2021 08:01 - Norway - Trondheim

Bad timing

Today, I just came out of a two-year long depression. I'm finally starting to feel normal, so of course I get a message that my grandmother might have less than a year to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks

854

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, while sorting through my deceased mother's hoard of belongings, I found myself holding a necklace composed entirely of teeth. Human teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3961

You deserved it

256

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By FMJoblessL - United States

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28463

You deserved it

2905

Favorite

By xxmollyxx - Sweden

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32557

You deserved it

3556

Favorite

By Anonymous

It's a marathon, not a sprint

Today, I found out that the last girl from my graduating high school class is engaged to her boyfriend. I'm now the only guy from high school who's still single and I'm not even 30 yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1113

You deserved it

259

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 02:02

Who you gonna call?

Today, I couldn't enter my workplace because I haven't gotten the new keycard yet. I ended up having to wait outside for close to an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

892

You deserved it

124

Favorite

By Randy Savage - United States

Check before crossing

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude, how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guy's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17862

You deserved it

70997

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Top comments

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7704770 - Saturday 6 October 2018 19:01

He released the milk. Prematurely.

COMMENTS

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7704770 - Saturday 6 October 2018 19:01

He released the milk. Prematurely.