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OP, here. Once, I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. It was hot so I cracked a window to let in fresh air. Somehow that was indecent and I got yelled at, and he's been on my case ever since.

No thanks

By MrLonelyHertz - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Kingman

Today, I sat down for class. The second I sat down, the guy next to me stood up and moved all the way to the other side of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 192

You deserved it 1 407

Group Project Struggles

By FML Approved - 21/10/2017 20:30 - United States - New York

Not helping never looked so cute!

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 105

Tinder Surprise

By betrayed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 476

You deserved it 6 565

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 618

By darianvilla - 22/07/2016 23:35 - United States - College Park

Today, I was happy because my co-worker was almost about to get fired due to his lazy habits. It was all going so well. Then I accidentally put my biggest sale yet under his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 981

You deserved it 16 878

By Rapunzel - 18/03/2012 20:02 - United States - Tucson

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 144

You deserved it 3 077

By Anonymous - 18/07/2016 11:51 - Belgium

Today, my boss refused my resignation and acted like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 139

You deserved it 1 175

Kids these days…

By Cindell Hanson - 02/03/2020 05:00

Today, a student told me to fuck off. I work with 3 year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 192

By C8H18 - 29/06/2016 03:16 - United States

Today, my supervisor gave me a grand introduction as I met the CEO for the first time. He introduced me as, "Employee number zero." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 818

C8H18 tells us more.

C8H18 33

Wednesday 29 June 2016 17:51

OP here. I don't work in programming. I teach weapons safety courses and coach people while shooting on the range. The only thing that came to mind when my supervisor said this was the center ring on the targets. Maybe I am wrong, but I took this as I should be shot at.

By Miss_Kristen - 26/02/2012 15:31 - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 410

You deserved it 34 448

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 930

You deserved it 13 073

Why I did that?

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 14:00

Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 863

Our secret

By Anonymous - 21/11/2019 05:00 - Australia - Bonnyrigg

Today, my mom is 44 years-old, and she is cheating on my dad with my friend who is 19. And she's paying me to keep her secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 665

You deserved it 1 070

By TheHeirofTime - 31/05/2016 20:45 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I was messaging a nice guy. He sent a picture of himself and asked for one back. Shortly after my picture sent, he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 164

You deserved it 1 368

TheHeirofTime tells us more.

TheHeirofTime 19

Wednesday 1 June 2016 18:26

....What?

Cold-blooded old times

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 02:00

Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 386

Well hello there…

By acinorev - 07/08/2021 22:01

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 532

By Sorry - 03/03/2010 16:22 - Canada

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 878

You deserved it 7 865

By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 118

You deserved it 15 392

By SuperWhoMarvLock - 06/05/2016 01:35 - United States - Hibbing

Today, my class went for a hike through the woods near our school to destress during finals. While walking downhill towards the edge of the lake, I tripped and tumbled down the hill, and ended up diving head first into the lake. I had to hike back to the school soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 702

You deserved it 1 277

SuperWhoMarvLock tells us more.

SuperWhoMarvLock 22

Wednesday 11 May 2016 7:08

Hey, OP here! I'm a girl and a senior in high school. My physics class of 10 had planned a hike to enjoy the warm weather when this happened. Considering how hot it was, I wasn't as bothered as I could've been. The ironic part was how I had stated earlier "If anyone's going to trip and fall off the trail, it's going to be me" as I know myself to be clumsy. Boy, was I right. Everyone did get in a few good laughs, including myself and my teacher. He didn't even look surprised haha. It was definitely uncomfortable hiking back with my soaked jeans and long-sleeved shirt, but I was over it almost instantly and can laugh about it now. Graduation is in a couple of weeks, and I'm glad I'm able to take such hilarious memories with me! Thanks for all the nice and funny comments. :)

By onemonthmyarse - 25/07/2018 15:00 - United Kingdom - Isleworth

Today, it's been 9 months since my home was damaged by a neighbour's gas explosion. The council said it would take a month to repair. I'm still living on my boyfriend's mother's sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 330

You deserved it 191