Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Well hello there…

Well hello there…

By acinorev - 07/08/2021 22:01

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 497

Intimacy Sex Awkward

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 791

By pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 124

You deserved it 16 362

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 322

You deserved it 4 908

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 666

You deserved it 5 688

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 732

You deserved it 6 929

Leave me alone

By notgivingup - 01/10/2012 03:21 - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 1 997

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 328

You deserved it 1 884

Easy mistake to make

By Becca Velveeta - 26/10/2019 14:00

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 216

You deserved it 196

What a dick

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 668

You deserved it 5 157

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 573

You deserved it 47 142

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 7 August 2021 22:48

Why were you blowing your boyfriend in front of his dad..?🤔

Jon Tessler 14

Saturday 7 August 2021 22:10

I hope your mom taught you to never talk with your mouth full.

Comments

Jon Tessler 14

Saturday 7 August 2021 22:10

I hope your mom taught you to never talk with your mouth full.

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 7 August 2021 22:48

Why were you blowing your boyfriend in front of his dad..?🤔

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 7 August 2021 23:18

I hope you mean he tried to call you on the phone. In person, he might have dropped trou and yelled "Bukkake Party!"

Plop 17

Sunday 8 August 2021 2:13

It really sucks balls when you get caught with your pants around your ankles like that.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 8 August 2021 2:18

YDI for blowing your boyfriend's brother! The story could read that way.

Keywords

Money Work Stressed out Awkward Health Mental health ADHD Poopoo peepee Gross Relatable Parenting Kids Anger issues Funerals Family Roommate Drugs Lonely Love AITA Weird Break-ups Parents Food Annoying Miscellaneous Cooking Road rage Music Transportation

The Top

Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent me 5 pictures of his wife in a small bikini, saying, “Guess who doesn’t have your problems?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 518

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, as usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 7 217

The Top

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 429

You deserved it 5 464

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 727

You deserved it 7 932

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 408

You deserved it 2 862

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 028

You deserved it 3 842

Today, I took my daughter to a makeup store at the mall to get foundation to match her skin. The woman behind the counter scoffed, rolled her eyes, then called me a Karen when I asked for a manager. My daughter is 7 and I was getting makeup to match her elf ears for a costume we were making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 339

Today, I'm lying in a hospital bed with two broken leg bones, a reattached tendon, and four screws holding my leg together. Why? Because I wanted chocolate milk and some asshat didn't see me walking across the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 523