I feel bad for your ex girlfriend, it must suck to have a father who threatens the people who date their children.

You need to let your (ex)girlfriend know about his threats. Tell her you want to be with her but you can't deal with the stress he's putting on you, and she needs to tell him to back off. That way she will blame him if you say you can't be together anymore because he hasn't stopped threatening you.

I've had to deal with something like this before, and can say it does work, if it's done right

I agree with this! I hope OP sees this.

If OP has any hard evidence, such as texts or private messages, then those will help greatly. I've a lot of military and police in my family and they would never behave like this! They would just ask whomever I am dating to treat me right (or some variant) but never threaten them outright! I don't blame OP for finding it too stressful that he left her, but man do I feel for him for having to deal with further threats!!!

I don't think you should have let him get in the way of your relationship. If he ever seriously does anything there is always a number you can call to get his ass thrown in jail.

Numbers don't do jack diddly if he's DEAD.

I find that so offensive and disrespectful to both you and his daughter. Her relationship with you is none of his business, and threatening you for dating her is him questioning her judgment and her choices. His actions say that he thinks his daughter does not have the ability to choose a "worthy" significant other on her own.

I'm not sure if it's offensive. Disrespectful eh maybe. I think he's just trying to protect his little girl. It's just like any father when they have a daughter

36, fathers who try to "protect" their "little girls" by scaring away people dating them are not every father. That's not protecting your daughter, that's controlling her life. And there are really only two scenarios: 1. The father will scare away good guys whom his daughter may really love (as in OP's case) or 2. Scare a guy who may not love his daughter into staying with her because he's afraid of her father. It's understandable to not want to see your child hurt, but it's completely unreasonable to interfere in your child's life.

Or 3, scare off the losers not man enough to take a stand and be a man. If they can't handle a protective father, then how are they going to handle any other tough situation? Always run away? He's dating her, not the father.

Not all fathers are like this, my father has accused me of being "sick in the head" because I'm a social scientist, where one of my subjects is psychology and I study human behaviour. He also blocked me on FB because I refused to deal with his totalitarian behaviour where he tried to bully me to do what he wants, so he decided I'm "fucked up".

Not all fathers are great, and fathers who try to "protect" their "little girls" need fucking punched. Everyone grows up, we don't stay children forever and some fathers need to realise this and respect their daughters, and acknowledge that their daughters are old enough, are adults, to make their own decisions in life, and will eventually start dating. They also need to stay out of the way of this and not get in the way of their dating.

"He's dating her, not the father" - have you ever dealt with an interfering family? I have. Is exhausting, so exhausting that it's easier to walk away from the whole thing as opposed to dating someone you like whilst being constantly harassed and threatened by the family. You can't exactly report the family for harassment to he Police as this will push your partner away, so knowing this the family keeps harassing and threatening you.

Sometimes it's much, much easier to walk away. I actually told my other half I was being threatened by their family and they just laughed. When I confronted them again they claimed they couldn't do anything about it and allowed their families harassment to continue. When I split with them I made sure they understood why that their family had pushed me away and that they just stood by and let it happen was another reason I was so done. I was dating him, not his family, but his family made my life a living hell. It just wasn't worth dating him after all that crap.

gah, parents interfering on their childrens relationships. why do they do it? its just a dick move, unless you have a really, really, good reason.

join the army and quit being a pussy maybe he thinks someone should earn the right to breed

Please don't reproduce.

And you yourself shouldn't have that "right" because of your stupidity.

Stop being a little puss puss, he's just another human. Either fight back or ignore it.

Yeah, he's just another human, it's not like he has training designed to kill other humans....oh wait....

Military doesn't equate to lethal weapon. He could have been supply in the Air Force for all we know.

You don't need training to kill someone. Gun meet head. Knife meet throat. Death meet asshole father. People will euthanize crazy animals but not humans. As if we are superior because we can talk, yet wouldn't last mano a mano, hand to claw against wildlife. We are weak and know it.

#46, Mano a Mano means hand on hand

I understand that your girlfriend's father making constant threats to you would be stressful, but it's not like he's ever going to act on them. he's not actually going to hurt you for dating or breaking up with his daughter, so either talk to her about it to hopefully get him to stop, or stay broken up with her, whatever makes you happy.

I dont know why you got thumbed down, i agree

Me too. The ones who down voted are the same ones without the back bone to have that very conversation.

My dad (who was a Marine) did the same thing to all of my boyfriends and even my now-husband. Now that I'm married, though, he's told me that the only reason he threatened any of them was to see if they were serious about marrying me.

I guess his logic was that if they were capable of withstanding my scary father through the beginning of our relationship, they would be able to withstand other scary things through the rest of our relationship?

#13 That was very immature and uncivilised of your father. You do not need to marry the first person you are with. Why couldn't you enjoy the relationship while it lasts? It doesn't need to end up with marriage. I would definitely report him if I were your boyfriend. Who knows how many left you because they didn't want to waste their energy on some crazy dude annoying them.

I see where your dad was going with that, but outright death threats is crossing the line. OP's dad is scaring off potentially dedicated suitors who also happen to have a healthy sense of personal safety.

Seriously a lot of over sensitive people here. A father wants a man for their daughter. At no point have any of these examples ever insinuated any physical harm has taken place. You stand up for yourself like an adult, first with words, then with your hands if it ever comes down to it. From that perspective he's only saying "don't hurt my little girl, treat her right and there will be no problem." The "threats" are a reminder of consequence. Chances are very high that a break up would not provoke a whoopin. Someone putting their hands on his daughter is a different story, and you would be hard pressed to find a father who wouldn't do the same for their own daughter. Also, Semper Fi to your father from another Marine #13. He did right by you and kept the losers away I'm sure.

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Look, as a girl: fuck off. If my father tried that shit, he'd never be introduced to my significant others and Id probably grow apart from him. It's disrespectful to the child as well as the person they're dating.

You're a little girl. You think you know the world but you don't. Much like most of the people who post here, you live in your own little world expecting a safety bubble. The problem I see is far too many people are spineless. Downvote me to oblivion, I don't care, but people should really take a look in the mirror and ask themselves if they're taking the world by the balls or if it has them by the balls.

Does it make you feel all big and bad to try to demean me? It really just shows what kind of person you are. I say this as a girl, which I wouldn't consider someone that is almost 19 a "little girl" more of a teenager, if you want your daughter to respect and love you you have to do that as well. If you do not trust and respect them, many will only grow resentful and perhaps even grow to hate you. They will try to push their limits and do whatever they can to spite you. That's not a healthy family relationship. It's not spineless to not put up with threats against you. It's pathetic to try to use threats to bully people into doing things you want. That's all it is, a full grown man trying to bully young men and teenagers into doing what they demand and fearing them. Is that really your definition of strength? Should a child's partner fear or hate their partners parents rather than respect them? Once again, you can get some guys that will just want to spite you and guess who gets hurt? Not you, the child. Grow up and learn how to be civilized, trying to act all big and tough and belittling others just makes you look sad.

It seems those types of threatening fathers want alpha males that stand up to the Papa Alpha Male for their daughters. It is a mano y mano between the men; less about what the boyfriends can provide emotionally for their little girls.
Well, to me that's confusing Masculine for Macho.
In my opinion, heartbreak is a fairly necessary part of life. I experienced some tough lessons early on. But I had to learn my value for myself, learn what bad manipulative behavior is, toughen up a little bit, and keep an open heart. I'm with a wonderful guy who treats me generously and respectfully; and his family likes me, and mine likes him. It's a very harmonious situation. My father told me what he wished for me in the future, and he trusted me to settle for nothing less.

And more besides: why don't fathers protect their sons from abusive women or otherwise unworthy partners?

Seems like crazy runs in the family.

Doesn't sound like you would fit into a military family anyway, OP. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the line of fire.