Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show... - FML

By Anonymous - 7/1/2015 01:26 - United States - Washington

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

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Rock, hard place

Time don't heal nothing

Rich people problems

By fml - 20/5/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

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By cheerymama - 23/1/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 16:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

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By livin - 11/9/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML

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By Damn You Fortnite - 17/8/2018 15:00

Today, I discovered that my little brother sold my PS2, 3 and 4 along with all of my games in exchange for credits to use in Fortnite. I've had some of that stuff since before he was born. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/4/2013 09:06 - United States

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

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By britt93 - 26/9/2019 00:01

Ol' Blue Eyes

Today, I learned that if you sing along with an old Frank Sinatra song, the elderly who hear you will want to talk to you about things you have no idea about, for a very long time. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/12/2009 01:57 - United States

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

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By a very unlucky dude. - 18/6/2014 06:37 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

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By asdf - 20/6/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML

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By StopMe - 20/5/2019 12:00

What are you doing?

Today, I went to a hobby lobby with the director of the play my daughter is in. He leaned in to grab a bottle of blue paint, and I mistook it for a hug. When he looked perplexed, I hugged him again, this time jumping in celebration of finding the blue paint. FML

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By BirthdayFail - 14/8/2012 07:57 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/7/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML

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By feeling dusty - 11/3/2018 06:00

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex for the first time in months. We wanted to spice things up by using chocolate sauce during a blowjob, but the chocolate glued his foreskin to his penis and he cried. Safe to say the dry spell continues. FML

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By novapine - 1/10/2013 08:34 - United States - Staffordsville

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

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By omgreally91 - 12/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

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By notgay - 12/2/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

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By Anonymous - 24/3/2016 15:23 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML

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By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

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By addict - 26/8/2017 13:00

Today, after spending over a year getting clean and sober, I started feeling horrible withdrawal symptoms and couldn't understand why. It turns out my wife had been dosing my food with Adderall "to keep me on track" and just stopped. So much for my anniversary chip. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/3/2020 09:00

Honor amongst maids

Today, a good friend from childhood, who was my maid of honor four years ago, got married. Without me knowing about it. FML

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By Lisa - 23/8/2019 22:00 - United States - Tupelo

Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML

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By hunnybaby0319 - 2/10/2010 22:07 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

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By SucksToBeMe - 28/9/2009 18:31 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

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By HappyGirl - 28/10/2008 15:57 - France

Today, my little brother, who is 11, explained to me how babies are made. I’m 15. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/7/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

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By nepotwatism @ its finest - 23/9/2015 15:05 - Sweden - Halmstad

Today, my boss told me I have to start work 4 hours early tomorrow, because that my coworker, who happens to be his son, will not be coming in because he's "too tired". I work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week without complaining. His son works two 4-hour shifts a week. FML

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By cocacoola - 11/7/2011 14:24 - Iceland

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

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By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2019 18:00 - United States

Dumpy baby

Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML

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By wtfmom - 7/10/2014 21:10 - United States - Clanton

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

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By LonelyInLA - 16/2/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

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By Anonymous - 24/7/2013 07:33 - United States - Alpine

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

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By jamisbetter - 11/4/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/6/2012 21:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

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By stachattack - 23/12/2017 15:00

Today, I reassured everyone at work that the mark on my lip was just a pimple, not a cold sore. It's actually neither. I, a 21-year-old young woman, slipped while shaving my moustache and sliced off part of my lip. FML

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By essay2 - 24/9/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

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By Nothingonyou - 8/9/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

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By lez probs - 18/5/2013 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

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By CatLady - 24/8/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

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Top comments

By RobinGoodfellow | 47

#6165597 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 10:59

That bus driver is cold-hearted.

By prostar9993 | 15

#6165630 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:52

Why the hell didn't you just drive in the first place?

Comments

By RobinGoodfellow | 47

#6165597 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 10:59

That bus driver is cold-hearted.

Reply

Dthsapprntc | 23

#6165670 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 12:37

Why? Because he/she didn't stop to see if the person clearing snow and ice off their car wanted to ride the bus instead?

Reply

desoxyn242 | 14

#6165785 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 15:27

#12 it's obviously a pun....

By adacurtis | 9

#6165602 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:03

well at least you won't have to wait for it going home?

By bearstyle22 | 11

#6165605 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:04

Mother natures way of saying use a sick day and have some hot chocolate

By EmoKami | 21

#6165609 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:08

Shouldn't have stormed off and just kept your cool OP! :P

By amb95x | 17

#6165610 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:09

Hope you got to work okay OP. Probably just wasn't your day unfortunately!

By jgwyh | 18

#6165619 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:32

Let it go

Reply

cheeeksss | 29

#6165622 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:39

OP couldn't hold it back anymore.

Reply

bluebluhblou | 15

#6165692 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 13:20

and there he stood. and now he'll stay.

Reply

HeadlessSparrow | 20

#6165899 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:39

the cold never bothered OP anyway

By bombielol | 20

#6165627 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:45

you gotta be patient op (:

Reply

HJKM_fml | 19

#6165921 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:58

What do you call 'waiting for an hour' then?

Reply

kindasortayeah | 23

#6166417 - Thursday 8 January 2015 5:09

Normally, I would agree with that statement. However, Op did wait an hour in the cold.

By prostar9993 | 15

#6165630 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:52

Why the hell didn't you just drive in the first place?

Reply

smokecloud_ | 37

#6165983 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:59

Because it's a snowstorm? I abhor driving in snowy conditions.

By clairesucks | 37

#6165662 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 12:25

Wouldn't you pre check bus timings?

Reply

NotGabe | 28

#6165851 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 17:10

Sometimes it doesn't work. Bus schedules are always outta whack when snow is involved.

Reply

brand125 | 17

#6165895 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:29

11- the bus was most likly unexpectedly late because of the snow..

Reply

badgercheese94 | 16

#6165939 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:19

Hah! When I lived in Miami the buses would be an hour late on a sunny warm day most days. Snowstorm delay time for any normal city.

By duffy512pd | 9

#6165699 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 13:28

Thats what you get for being impatient

Reply

brand125 | 17

#6165897 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:33

waiting just an hour for a bus is pretty patient, actually