Miscellaneous: Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show... - FML

By Anonymous - United States - Washington

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

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Understandable

Sorry…

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

By misty - Canada

Today, after checking in and waiting 3 hours to see the doctor, the receptionist said she forgot about me because she didn't see me. She asked me to come back tomorrow. I was sitting right in front of her. FML

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By JakeHolmes - United States

Today, I was in my hot tub with my brand new phone. I set it down and when I grabbed my towel I knocked it into the water. I quickly snatched it up and dried it off with the towel and suprisingly only one button stopped working. It was the unlock button, a perfectly good phone that I can't use. FML

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By Anonymous - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML

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By Titatoum - Belgium - Brussels

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

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By maybe dead in a day - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

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By omgdesdes - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

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By crazycatlady1890 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML

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By vat - Hong Kong

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

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By anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

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By TheBRADLeyB - United States

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

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By blonde - Australia

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

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By Ticketshame

Today, I got pulled over for talking on my phone while driving. I'd lost my phone the day before. He didn’t believe me. So, I got a ticket for talking on a phone I can’t even find. FML

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By LJ - United States

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

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By

Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML

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By Rothaar - United States

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

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By Michelle - United States

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

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By desertboi69 - United States - Ridgecrest

Today, I was preparing my raw meat with tire grease. Literally. My girlfriend replaced my teriyaki sauce with tire grease, because, she later told me, she had sex with my best friend. FML

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By phukt - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

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By benz1369 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML

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By adults acting like children - United States - Danvers

Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML

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By englishclasshigh - United States

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

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By Anonymous

he ded

Today, while on an airboat exploring the Everglades, my cousin decided it would be funny to push me off the boat. Into water full of alligators. FML

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By theoriginalkydd - Canada - Toronto

Today, I met up with my ex girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas... FML

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By coltsfoot - Norway

Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

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By CabbageFart92

Thanks, I hate it

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

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By youngsamoo92 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate when she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear, "We're getting Chips Ahoy after this." I came. FML

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By ihatespiders - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

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By anonymous

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

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By captainocd - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

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By shouldveknown - Canada

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

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By Shino

Today, my fiancé's mother made him pack his stuff and move to Montana while I was at work. I came home to a half-written note because she wouldn’t let him finish. We own a house together. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML

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By notsosmart - Australia

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

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By lameows - United States

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

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By Upset - United States - Santa Clara

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

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Top comments

By RobinGoodfellow | 47

#6165597 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 10:59

That bus driver is cold-hearted.

By prostar9993 | 15

#6165630 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:52

Why the hell didn't you just drive in the first place?

COMMENTS

By RobinGoodfellow | 47

#6165597 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 10:59

That bus driver is cold-hearted.

Reply

Dthsapprntc | 23

#6165670 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 12:37

Why? Because he/she didn't stop to see if the person clearing snow and ice off their car wanted to ride the bus instead?

Reply

desoxyn242 | 14

#6165785 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 15:27

#12 it's obviously a pun....

By adacurtis | 9

#6165602 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:03

well at least you won't have to wait for it going home?

By bearstyle22 | 11

#6165605 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:04

Mother natures way of saying use a sick day and have some hot chocolate

By EmoKami | 21

#6165609 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:08

Shouldn't have stormed off and just kept your cool OP! :P

By amb95x | 17

#6165610 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:09

Hope you got to work okay OP. Probably just wasn't your day unfortunately!

By jgwyh | 18

#6165619 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:32

Let it go

Reply

cheeeksss | 29

#6165622 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:39

OP couldn't hold it back anymore.

Reply

bluebluhblou | 15

#6165692 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 13:20

and there he stood. and now he'll stay.

Reply

HeadlessSparrow | 20

#6165899 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:39

the cold never bothered OP anyway

By bombielol | 20

#6165627 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:45

you gotta be patient op (:

Reply

HJKM_fml | 19

#6165921 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:58

What do you call 'waiting for an hour' then?

Reply

kindasortayeah | 23

#6166417 - Thursday 8 January 2015 5:09

Normally, I would agree with that statement. However, Op did wait an hour in the cold.

By prostar9993 | 15

#6165630 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 11:52

Why the hell didn't you just drive in the first place?

Reply

smokecloud_ | 37

#6165983 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:59

Because it's a snowstorm? I abhor driving in snowy conditions.

By clairesucks | 37

#6165662 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 12:25

Wouldn't you pre check bus timings?

Reply

NotGabe | 28

#6165851 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 17:10

Sometimes it doesn't work. Bus schedules are always outta whack when snow is involved.

Reply

brand125 | 17

#6165895 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:29

11- the bus was most likly unexpectedly late because of the snow..

Reply

badgercheese94 | 16

#6165939 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:19

Hah! When I lived in Miami the buses would be an hour late on a sunny warm day most days. Snowstorm delay time for any normal city.

By duffy512pd | 9

#6165699 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 13:28

Thats what you get for being impatient

Reply

brand125 | 17

#6165897 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:33

waiting just an hour for a bus is pretty patient, actually