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The illustrated FMLs
By Barista - / Sunday 5 July 2009 05:21 / United States
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By  letitbe56  |  0

Something similar happened to me once. I was working in a B&N cafe (which is basically a Starbucks, but owned by B&N) and this guy came in--in his 20s, so young enough to know better--and was like, "How do you make your chai? Is it with some kind of nasty syrup?" I told him that yes, we did use a syrup, but that it wasn't too nasty. He was then like, "No. That's no good," and he proceeded to tell me various chai suppliers in the area, as if I, a barista at a bookstore, had any authority to change where a large, national corporation bought its chai.

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  BBGood_fml  |  0

their is

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  snowsledin  |  0

all women suck and should be in the kitchen making food.

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  fmlteengurl  |  0

Snowsleddin you have some major issues! Woman hav just as many rights as men do! We deserve to be treated as equals. And mind you, all this coming from a 14 year old girl! What now?!

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  metro_mello  |  0

Well Mr. #210 douche bag been cheated on one to many times i see. The fact that woman can do these things to you get into your mind and fuck it until its dry shows that woman are powerful :) they can do things better than/just as good as any other guy. In fact im smarter than about all of the guys at my school. 10000x way more mature than most of the 20 year old guys i know. more mature than a lot of the 30 year olds i know too. Way smarter than most of them. So i could be anything i want to be in this world than stuck in the fucking kitchen. So i see your stuck in the 1920's so how about you come back to reality and get your head out of your ass before i decide to place it up your dick. Now you just got told by a 14 year old GIRL :) so how bout you go back into the kitchen and make me my sammich you filty hoe! and yes I have a dirty mouth but im pmsing so forgive me :)

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In MY native culture it`s a type of fictional food from a sci-fi television series. Weird, eh? Quote: "Spoo is a fictional food product that served as a running joke within the Babylon 5 science fiction television series. In the series' fictional universe, spoo is made from worm-like creatures of the same name and is generally regarded as the most delicious food in the galaxy; the creature itself, however, is regarded with contempt by most species. Despite appearing only in a few episodes, fans embraced spoo and it became part of the series' extended mythology."

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  RevengeOnYou  |  0

Go make your own food you lazy bum :] I bet your so fat, u spend your day on the computer eating pie and cake and pizza all day because you can't cook for yourself.

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  Ascalon  |  2

@288, you say you're smarter and more mature than most people around you, older or younger. Your post, however, seems to yell otherwise. Furthermore, you're overreacting. He could simply just be joking. As far as I know, sexist jokes such as that are very common, whether against men or women, and these jokes are thrown around so often, the person saying the joke doesn't actually mean it anymore. Why, you don't actually mean sleeping with someone each time you say 'fuck', do you? It's more or less the same basic idea. You have a really short temper and a lousy sense of humor if you're going to be offended by something so trivial. Not to mention you bulldozed that guy for no reason. Be a little lighter and try not to lash out more.

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  Pg11  |  0

288, you do realize that that was in all likelihood a troll trying to bait you into making a comment like that who is now laughing at you.

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  mola_mola  |  3

@210 ouch dude :P -144 that takes some skills to be fair to them though i am a highly accepting person and i will make sexist jokes but i don't believe in them

By  Kyothine  |  0

How is this an FML?

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  blehargh  |  0

Uh, yeah, how is this an FML? He wouldn't get fired if he simply explained that the person who complained appeared to have recently escaped from the insanity ward.

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  kscott88  |  0

Obviously you haven't been reading all the "work" FMLs. People get fired for customers complaining all the time, even if it's clearly not their fault.

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  Schiffy  |  18

Yeah, probably not. The manager who bothers top listen to that would ask how the conversation between the 2 of them went. Being as crazy as she is, she would actually say she wanted sweet and sour chicken, and he would just say, "Ma'am, this is a COFFEE store. WE DON'T SELL ANY FREAKING CHICKEN!!" and would kick her out of the store and call her an idiot.

By  fallenarchangel  |  0

How is this a fml. And was she asain?

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  humorizer  |  14

Actually, statistically speaking, she was more likely a fat white woman, or either a black fat woman, ar a skinny black woman that *thinks* she's good looking/rich, but really isn't and is insecure about the fact, so she makes up for it by targeting people who she thinks are unable to fight back. I don't care, statistics are not racist.

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  HaleyRae  |  0

that doesn't mean that they're racist, it means that they're good with numbers and statistics. It'd be racist to say that black people are more violent than white people, but it's also the truth. Statistically, black people get into more fights, arguments, and are in more violence-related attacks than white people. Look it up.

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the way i see it, is there are black people, then just plain niggers. niggers are the black people that are always violent and shit. all niggers are black, but not all black people are niggers. i'm racist against niggers, not black people

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  cuzitwasgood  |  3

Wow. That's incredibly racist. The word nigger actually means "ignorant". People like you are the reason most people associate that word with black people. Good job asshole, you just made yourself look incredibly dumb. As far as the fml at hand, the insane lady may just call up or come in and point out that the op has "lousy work ethic". She may not say anything about the chicken to the manager. I'm pretty sure THATS what the op is worried about.

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  hairspray666  |  0

Wow. Did you seriously just turn an FML about a sweet and sour chicken mishap into a racial issue? If someone asked you about your racial views, fine tell them. You're still an ignorant asshole, though. But you just made yourself look like an asshole all on your own. Congrats.

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98, can you please explain how "statistically speaking" she was more likely any of these things? Is it because statistically these types of women go to Starbucks? Or because statistically speaking there are more fat white women, fat black women, or skinny black women in America? Exactly what statistics are you referring to? And, pray tell, how can statistics speak on the internal feelings of a skinny black woman? She "thinks" she's good looking/rich? Surely you're not suggesting that a skinny black woman couldn't be good looking or rich? Because that sounds.. kinda racist. Also, statistics aren't racist because they're just numbers.. but using statistics to prove a point such as the one you seem to be *trying* to make IS racist. (Or, using statistics to prove a point such as the one you seem to be *trying* to make WOULD be racist, if you were actually using any statistics at all..) 113, you also seem to be using statistics irresponsibly. It is irresponsible to say something like blacks get into more violent crimes than whites do without taking into consideration the other circumstances involved in such an observation. You are making it seem like the color of the person's skin determines whether or not they are more likely to be involved in a violent crime. Think on this: urban areas, inner cities, and poorer communities have a higher rate of crime, both violent and otherwise. And since more minorities, blacks and otherwise, are poorer and live in urban areas, the those crimes are generally committed by minorities. But based on these facts, a poor white kid from some poor, inner city is just as likely to commit a crime as his poor black next door neighbor, or the hispanic kid who goes to the same school. The reverse is also true. A black kid from the suburbs is just as UNlikely to commit a crime as his white next door neighbor or the hispanic kid who goes to the same school. Duh? edit: sorry everyone that this was so long.. but shit like this pisses me off!

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  Edochan_fml  |  0

I agree with that. You still gotta be careful with how/when you use that word, but basically I associate it in my mind with the angry, ignorant, pants-falling-down-cause-they-think-it-looks-cool kind of black people. And to #127, he never said white people couldn't be the same way, he said BLACK people who act that way are niggers. Come up with a white version of nigger that means the same thing(as whitetrash doesn't apply in the same way all the time) and I'll use it.

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  justxjess  |  0

thanks you for not being completely ignorant. this is the worst post i've ever read until yours. it gives me some hope for the intelligence of the future

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  Fml37  |  0

It's true statistics are facts. Certain stereotypes prove very true. Asian people are bad drivers!!!! I don't care call me racist, but it's true.

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A lot of FMLS end up having the comments section turn into a lengthy debate, but usually the debate is at least somewhatrelevant to the contents of the FML. How the fuck did the comments for this FML end up being about racism?

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  ImFree17  |  0

#240. If you look back and read all the comments you will see that someone started talking about who the woman could have been and he/she said it could be a fat black woman or a fat white woman. honestly the person who commented on what that person said is the one who made it into a racist debate. but whoever said that they "Aren't racist against blacks but against (the N word)" I personally agree. It's like there are white people and then there are trailer trash. Everyone who watches Carlos Mencia should know about this debate.

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  MNDUBBER  |  0

well statistically, he has more a of a chance of getting shot by a black 'nigger'. just sayin' is all, unbiased factual numbers from crime rate reports don't lie.

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  Stratigenia  |  0

I think that we can all agree, that if you make an assumption about a person based on their race, based on your own experiences, and you are right, you're not rascist.

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  capricaz  |  0

cause they live in bad neighborhoods caused no doubt by segregation. Anyone can get messed up and get into fights if they grow up in certain environments. On the other hand, if someone grows up in the right environment, they can be excellent citizens... like um oh I don't know, Obama?

By  nuclear  |  0

Yeah, your life isn't exactly fucked. Tell me you didn't get a laugh out of that. I'd probably be trying really hard to not be laughing in her face..

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  NewLight8421  |  0

lol notalwaysright.com initials are NAW example of a NAW: Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell pie here?” Me: “Um, no this is [department store]. We sell clothes.” Customer: “I don’t want clothes. I want pie.” Me: “You can go across the street to the supermarket.” Customer: “But I hear that your pie is the best in town.” Me: “You’ve obviously heard wrong; we don’t sell pie here.” Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! I know there’s pie! Where is it?!” Me: “Sir, there is no pie…” Customer: “F*** you, are you profiling me? Just because I’m African-American you won’t sell me pie? You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!” Me: *giving up* “…OK sir, fine, you’re right. Go downstairs, go out the door and walk across the street. That’s where we sell the pie.” Customer: “It’s about time…”

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