By burgeee - 18/03/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 495
You deserved it 4 269
Intimacy
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Top comments

vacantdreamer 0

Congrats. Your man admits to being a pig.

53 3
CallMeHush 0

OK , so to test that out I just sent the same text to my wife. Her reply; WTF?

48 1

Comments

vacantdreamer 0

Congrats. Your man admits to being a pig.

53 3
malheartsnutmeg 20

So, did you touch his Pork?

5 0
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0

How's he a pig? He feels comfortable enough with you to be sexual in his own odd way. Just touch his pork or stay in the kitchen

7 17
Randomassdude 0

lmao 25 violated xD make him a sammich while at it (: lol

1 9
greendaygirl999 5

You shoulda said "Sorry, I'm a vegitarian" xD

15 0
paigeatsflesh 11

ahaha^^

1 1
WompWompDub_Step 0

what? your feeling aren't mututal? you don't want him to touch your pork? hmm

4 0
Jrook 0

WTF who says that anyway? pigs don't even say that

1 1
jdub28 0

I don't get it... maybe she meant to say **** and the text auto corrected her typing.. if not, who calls a penis pork?

0 3
fmlsoobad 0

he wants u to Tuch his dik dipwad

0 8
DonkeyDelight 0

54- correct, pigs can't talk.

6 0
acccccccc 1

haha 68 win!

3 0
redshortsx 0

uncork it then pork it

1 0
RaptorJeezus 1

That's not his porpoise he wants pumped! He's a simple farmer with a love of his piggeh's :D

0 2
Wolfex999 0

Porpoise? Isn't that a dolphin? Sorry if I'm wrong, I'm out of it today.

2 2
RaptorJeezus 1

It means smackin' the monkey, pocket pool, hwhacking off... master-baiting. Umm... how many more do I know... taunting the crotch monster?

1 0
aali89 0

Yeah, you clearly have no sense of humor. He was obviously just joking with you. My bf and I do shit like this all the time. Live a little, laugh some more and stop whinnng about something this stupid.

0 3
18drakerad 18

I like how you just assume the person who said that is male.

0 0
gorgeousmami33 0

lmfao. that's funny

2 2
nessimonster 0

lol rite

0 1
hey01_fml 0

pigs wit cells these days fail on him win. 4 u for. posting it on fml

1 10
theian01 3

Can I get a translator here?

13 0
Averizzle 0

Ok I haven't brushed up on my idiot in a while but here is a shot: Pigs with cell phones win and you fail for posting this on fml.

8 1
Joey7361 0

nono here's wat I think "pigs with cellphones nowadays! it's a fail for him, but a win for you for posting this on fml."

11 1
Averizzle 0

Nice you should teach a class in idiot.

10 0
jdub28 0

lol... win for understanding idiot, but fail for being able to translate it so well. so how long have you been fluent in idiot?

8 0
ninafea 0

Win ^

1 1
MissOriginal 0

I didn't know Stevie Wonder goes on FML???

1 3
CallMeHush 0

OK , so to test that out I just sent the same text to my wife. Her reply; WTF?

48 1
TheSexynator 0

With The Fungus?

2 0
CallMeHush 0

No, the cream took care of that.

6 0
BadPinkKitty07 0

lol that's awesome!

0 0
llcooljoey 0

#8 wins

0 0
Blue_Coconuts 7

That could be worse if she didn't know who sent the text.... o.0

0 0
maddymxo 0

touch my fungus.

1 0
drewbell 0

maddymxo wins

0 0
Rexx 0

Tell him you only eat Kosher

20 0
WhatANoob 0

LOL! Agreed.

0 0
Aj4710 0

JEWISH FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!

2 4
Richard343 0

better than him saying to jerk his chicken =P

4 0
UberFail79 0

Better than "touch my pooper." Not even my auto-correct thinks that's in good taste.

1 0
fyrelynx 0

Your "love of your life" says things like "touch my pork"? some people really exaggerate on labels, don't they?

12 0
Odiny147 0

tell him you are vegetarian

1 0
maggiees 0

hehe #10 WIN!

0 0
goonie85 0

Vegetarians can still touch it, right? They just can't eat it.

0 0
hmmmummhmmm 0

or Jewish. (Jews don't eat pork right?)

0 0
C2Ultima 0

Tell him to give his pig it's own sponge bath.

1 0
knockasauras 0

lmfao at 6

0 0