Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML
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By
vacantdreamer
| 0
Congrats. Your man admits to being a pig.
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malheartsnutmeg
| 20
So, did you touch his Pork?
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Dwight_A_R_Manag
| 0
How's he a pig? He feels comfortable enough with you to be sexual in his own odd way. Just touch his pork or stay in the kitchen
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Randomassdude
| 0
lmao 25 violated xD make him a sammich while at it (: lol
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greendaygirl999
| 5
You shoulda said "Sorry, I'm a vegitarian" xD
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paigeatsflesh
| 11
ahaha^^
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WompWompDub_Step
| 0
what? your feeling aren't mututal? you don't want him to touch your pork? hmm
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Jrook
| 0
WTF who says that anyway? pigs don't even say that
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jdub28
| 0
I don't get it... maybe she meant to say cock and the text auto corrected her typing.. if not, who calls a penis pork?
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fmlsoobad
| 0
he wants u to Tuch his dik dipwad
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DonkeyDelight
| 0
54- correct, pigs can't talk.
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acccccccc
| 1
haha 68 win!
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redshortsx
| 0
uncork it then pork it
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RaptorJeezus
| 1
That's not his porpoise he wants pumped! He's a simple farmer with a love of his piggeh's :D
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Wolfex999
| 0
Porpoise? Isn't that a dolphin? Sorry if I'm wrong, I'm out of it today.
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RaptorJeezus
| 1
It means smackin' the monkey, pocket pool, hwhacking off... master-baiting. Umm... how many more do I know... taunting the crotch monster?
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aali89
| 0
Yeah, you clearly have no sense of humor. He was obviously just joking with you. My bf and I do shit like this all the time. Live a little, laugh some more and stop whinnng about something this stupid.
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18drakerad
| 18
I like how you just assume the person who said that is male.
By
gorgeousmami33
| 0
lmfao. that's funny
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nessimonster
| 0
lol rite
By
hey01_fml
| 0
pigs wit cells these days fail on him win. 4 u for. posting it on fml
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theian01
| 3
Can I get a translator here?
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Averizzle
| 0
Ok I haven't brushed up on my idiot in a while but here is a shot: Pigs with cell phones win and you fail for posting this on fml.
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Joey7361
| 0
nono here's wat I think "pigs with cellphones nowadays! it's a fail for him, but a win for you for posting this on fml."
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Averizzle
| 0
Nice you should teach a class in idiot.
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jdub28
| 0
lol... win for understanding idiot, but fail for being able to translate it so well. so how long have you been fluent in idiot?
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ninafea
| 0
Win ^
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MissOriginal
| 0
I didn't know Stevie Wonder goes on FML???
By
CallMeHush
| 0
OK , so to test that out I just sent the same text to my wife.
Her reply; WTF?
Her reply; WTF?
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TheSexynator
| 0
With The Fungus?
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CallMeHush
| 0
No, the cream took care of that.
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BadPinkKitty07
| 0
lol that's awesome!
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llcooljoey
| 0
#8 wins
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Blue_Coconuts
| 7
That could be worse if she didn't know who sent the text.... o.0
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maddymxo
| 0
touch my fungus.
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drewbell
| 0
maddymxo wins
By
Rexx
| 0
Tell him you only eat Kosher
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WhatANoob
| 0
LOL! Agreed.
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Aj4710
| 0
JEWISH FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!
By
Richard343
| 0
better than him saying to jerk his chicken =P
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UberFail79
| 0
Better than "touch my pooper." Not even my auto-correct thinks that's in good taste.
By
fyrelynx
| 0
Your "love of your life" says things like "touch my pork"? some people really exaggerate on labels, don't they?
By
Odiny147
| 0
tell him you are vegetarian
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maggiees
| 0
hehe #10 WIN!
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goonie85
| 0
Vegetarians can still touch it, right? They just can't eat it.
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hmmmummhmmm
| 0
or Jewish. (Jews don't eat
pork right?)
pork right?)
By
C2Ultima
| 0
Tell him to give his pig it's own sponge bath.
By
knockasauras
| 0
lmfao at 6
Her reply; WTF?