By burgeee - 18/03/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 495
You deserved it 4 269

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Top comments

vacantdreamer 0

Congrats. Your man admits to being a pig.

OK , so to test that out I just sent the same text to my wife. Her reply; WTF?


vacantdreamer 0

Congrats. Your man admits to being a pig.

So, did you touch his Pork?

Dwight_A_R_Manag 0

How's he a pig? He feels comfortable enough with you to be sexual in his own odd way. Just touch his pork or stay in the kitchen

lmao 25 violated xD make him a sammich while at it (: lol

greendaygirl999 5

You shoulda said "Sorry, I'm a vegitarian" xD


what? your feeling aren't mututal? you don't want him to touch your pork? hmm

Jrook 0

WTF who says that anyway? pigs don't even say that

I don't get it... maybe she meant to say **** and the text auto corrected her typing.. if not, who calls a penis pork?

he wants u to Tuch his dik dipwad

54- correct, pigs can't talk.

haha 68 win!

redshortsx 0

uncork it then pork it

That's not his porpoise he wants pumped! He's a simple farmer with a love of his piggeh's :D

Porpoise? Isn't that a dolphin? Sorry if I'm wrong, I'm out of it today.

It means smackin' the monkey, pocket pool, hwhacking off... master-baiting. Umm... how many more do I know... taunting the crotch monster?

Yeah, you clearly have no sense of humor. He was obviously just joking with you. My bf and I do shit like this all the time. Live a little, laugh some more and stop whinnng about something this stupid.

I like how you just assume the person who said that is male.

gorgeousmami33 0

lmfao. that's funny

lol rite

pigs wit cells these days fail on him win. 4 u for. posting it on fml

theian01 3

Can I get a translator here?

Averizzle 0

Ok I haven't brushed up on my idiot in a while but here is a shot: Pigs with cell phones win and you fail for posting this on fml.

nono here's wat I think "pigs with cellphones nowadays! it's a fail for him, but a win for you for posting this on fml."

Averizzle 0

Nice you should teach a class in idiot.

lol... win for understanding idiot, but fail for being able to translate it so well. so how long have you been fluent in idiot?

ninafea 0

Win ^

I didn't know Stevie Wonder goes on FML???

OK , so to test that out I just sent the same text to my wife. Her reply; WTF?

TheSexynator 0

With The Fungus?

No, the cream took care of that.

BadPinkKitty07 0

lol that's awesome!

#8 wins

Blue_Coconuts 7

That could be worse if she didn't know who sent the text.... o.0

touch my fungus.

maddymxo wins

Tell him you only eat Kosher

WhatANoob 0

LOL! Agreed.


better than him saying to jerk his chicken =P

Better than "touch my pooper." Not even my auto-correct thinks that's in good taste.

Your "love of your life" says things like "touch my pork"? some people really exaggerate on labels, don't they?

tell him you are vegetarian

maggiees 0

hehe #10 WIN!

Vegetarians can still touch it, right? They just can't eat it.

or Jewish. (Jews don't eat pork right?)

C2Ultima 0

Tell him to give his pig it's own sponge bath.

lmfao at 6