By Satan's Mum - 06/05/2014 18:38 - United Kingdom - London
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What is grounding a child really gonna do??? -_- you gotta learn different tactics
Grounding works, but it really depends on the parents follow-through with the punishment. It's also important to ground him from the things that matter most to him. For example, my parents tried grounding me from social events. I didn't care. Eventually they got the bright idea of grounding me from recreational books, and I was devastated. Never wanted that to happen again.
Exactly. If you're opposed to corporal punishment, sign him up for community services, make him volunteer at an animal shelter, or do yard work for elderly neighbors. He doesn't get to sit around and stew like a useless piece of meat. How's that teaching him a lesson?
My psychology professor said he was a smart child and he would always talk about how much he loved and enjoyed his computer when he actually didn't care for it at all. That way when he got in trouble his parents took away his computer and not something he really liked ha.
Grounding worked very well for me. I tended to only do the bad thing once and learned my lesson. Wheb my parents grounded me, it wasn't just to my room, it was also from stuff as well. I've always loved to read and I knew when I had really pissed my parents off, because they would take my books away. if I were the OP, I would clear out tge ku day room. No phone, television, computer, books...everything. Leave only the bed and then take the door so the snot nosed brat couldn't even jack off as planned
The only punishment that ever had even a little effect on me was spankings. My mom would always ground me from electronics or toys but I would always say "Okay! I'm going to go read then!!!" Stomp into my room, make it obvious I got a book and start reading in the door way. I knew my mom wouldn't take away my books. I'm surprised to hear all these parents that took away reading for a punishment. My mom never did it because reading is good for you unlike video games.
My mom's tactic with my little brother was, "If it has a screen on it, don't think about it." He was such a tv junkie as a kid that would terrify him. For me, she used to take all of my music away. Grounding on works when it's that kid's favorite thing that's been taken away, but then it does pretty well.
I also think That grounding him for a year is ridiculous. The chances of the parent actually following through with that is slim and discipline is all about follow through! Find what they like and take that away, take the door as well maybe but whatever you do, do it for a reasonable amount of time that you can actually stick to.
My dad took my door off my hinges when I was younger because I kept closing the door at night ( not locking), which apparently is dangerous according to him. The only reason I closed it at night was because I'd taken to sleeping topless and have 3 brothers. Guess that never occurred to him. I ended up replacing the door with curtains to get my privacy in the end. My point is, privacy is needed sometimes, even if not to beat off. Where would he get dressed if he didn't have a bedroom door? Also: There's no way that without material to use that he has enough imagination and stamina to jerk off all day everyday.
Yeah I find the "take his door away" replies really fucking weird. Not to mention doors can be pretty expensive. Unless you've got a good handyman around the house you're going to have to hire somebody to remove and then replace the door. Grounding a kid as punishment is pointless anyway. Making them volunteer or do community service work would be way more effective.
#229 you don't even have to take out screws on most doors, just pop out the hinge pin, easy take easy replace. Children nowadays don't realize that privacy is a privelage offered by parents, my dad used to take my door so he could make sure I wasn't doin what I wasn't supposed to when I was grounded.
If my parents had threatened to take my door off as a teenager, I would have retaliated with "Right, so you want to catch me masturbating?". Never got to that point (I was a fairly good kid), but my dad would've been mortified to know that his youngest daughter rubbed one out, and my stepmom would have just backed away, scarred. Hell, maybe the two would have had reversed reactions. Anyway, taking away Manga and Xbox sufficed for them.
Except that every guy does that so you can't really make fun of him for it... Oh, and *your. It's bad enough when someone says your when they mean you're, but it's even worse when someone says you're when they mean your because that means they're actually trying to be grammatically correct and they're still failing. It also means they have no idea how contractions work.
"Grounding" does nothing. Take everything away from him. Hell, treat him like he treated that kid at school. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
I'm against bullying the bully because bullies tend to have low self-esteem and are insecure-- and have no sense of boundaries (or empathy). It wouldn't really solve the issue at hand and could make it worse. He needs consequences for his actions-- like things he cares about being taken away. And while I'm loathe to suggest volunteering as a punishment, it may do him some good to work with people more disadvantaged than him, like at a homeless shelter or with children with disabilities. Of course, depending on the circumstances of the bullying, this could back fire.
Have him stand on the street corner of a busy intersection (where you can still keep and eye on him and watch him) holding a sign that says he's a bully and he likes to bully other kids. It may seem extreme but I've heard it works with some. He may have low self esteem but that is probably his own fault for being a bully if he's in a good home (assuming he's not in an abusive family ect.)We learn at a young age to be respectful of others and if he's doing it just to get attention then let's see how he feels when he actually gets that attention even if it isn't the exact attention he's looking for. He WILL care if he sees that everyone, and I mean everyone is looking down at his behavior and might prompt him to stop being a bully. I also would like to add that this should probably be a last resort depending on how bad it is getting/gotten and yes I am well aware if the risks of this, knowing he could be bullied ect. Which is why I said it would be best as a last resort. Sorry it's a long post.
#54 No, actually, that bullies have low self esteem is not true. Bullies often have some kind of problems at home, but they're pretty happy about themselves when they bully people - it makes them feel empowered to see that they can manipulate others and play with their emotions. We're often told that we need to "feel sorry" for the bully because they're insecure, but really, we need to feel sorry for them because they haven't learned empathy and the value of other people
My nephew got in trouble for being a bully at school once. I say once because after his older brother found out he got "grounded" over and over and asked how it felt to be helpless and be bullied. He apologized to the kid he was bullying without being told and has never bullied anyone since. Sometimes an old fashioned ass kicking is better than all the bullshit psycho babble in the world.