The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Dobby123 - 08/11/2009 20:44 - Mexico

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 804

You deserved it 5 460

Dobby123 tells us more.

Dobby123 0

Monday 9 November 2009 2:51

For those who don't get it, beside my desk is a table a little bit lower than the desk. When my elbow hit that, it stopped, but my head kept on going and technically my face hit my fist, although my fist also hit my face. Sorry couldn't put that in the story, we can only write 300 characters, so yeah. I still have no idea how I could've hit my face so hard I got a mark :(

By AFH2O - 14/07/2014 23:04 - United States - Visalia

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 572

You deserved it 3 887

Social media was a mistake

By Anonymous - 16/05/2013 10:51 - Australia

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 300

You deserved it 11 317

Sorry…

By tukkies - 03/10/2010 09:23 - South Africa

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 171

You deserved it 4 275

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 18:17 - United States - South Amboy

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 683

You deserved it 2 079

Family issues

By thanks bro - 06/03/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, my brother refused to bring his kids to a small family get together for my daughter’s birthday, due to his fear of Covid. Later, I saw online that he was at a huge party for his wife’s family, no masks in sight. When I confronted him, he blocked me and won’t return my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 149

Close quarters

By Frannny - 15/08/2023 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law pulled into our driveway like a bat out of hell, knocking down the mailbox, and nearly running over our dog who was outside. What was the rush? Hannity was gonna come on TV. My husband refuses to find this woman a home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 118

By Useless training - 11/07/2014 06:04 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 730

You deserved it 4 765

By Airhead - 06/11/2009 19:48 - Canada

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 915

You deserved it 6 683

By Adrian James - 09/07/2019 12:00

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 261

Keep quiet

By PoorAndabroke - 28/05/2022 22:00

Today, I learned that you shouldn’t announce on social media that you’re leaving on vacation for a week. Your house might get broken into, and all your electronics will be missing. They were kind enough to leave a note saying, “If you can afford a vacation, you can afford to replace all this shit. Have fun!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 1 454

By Anonymous - 24/07/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 910

You deserved it 5 670

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 16:30 - Saudi Arabia - Jiddah

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 418

You deserved it 10 104

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 158

You deserved it 5 616

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 361

You deserved it 15 629

Addicted

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 03:27 - United States - Utica

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 151

You deserved it 7 173

By baldygirl - 02/11/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 029

You deserved it 3 535

Not now!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 157

By grossed out - 05/05/2013 23:10 - United States - Mount Prospect

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 273

You deserved it 8 269

By unbirthday - 18/07/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 111

You deserved it 2 964

By giantsfan2010 - 23/09/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 564

You deserved it 28 627

Believe in your dreams

By ZAS - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year-old boy asked me, "What do you do when you really want something?" I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 188

You deserved it 6 386

FML's Showdown #15

By Louis - 28/06/2017 21:00

Choose your fave, watch them go!

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 165

Fairweather friends

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 14:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad is terminally ill from bone cancer. It’s been 2 months and not even one of my so-called friends have asked me how I’m doing or how my parents are doing. They do however contact me when they need something. I have always been there for them - guess I was a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 138

Odd reason, but OK

By firedsucks - 20/03/2021 17:01

Today I got fired from a very promising new job where I made three times my previous salary from my previous job. Why? Because of a personal belonging, my bumper sticker that says, "How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 2 437

By beachbumb8538 - 15/07/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 766

You deserved it 5 280

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 14:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 515

You deserved it 4 225

The Stinking of Hill House

By laner - 26/07/2019 12:00

Today, I found out my ex-husband left the fridge full of rotting meat in the house that I'm selling. I turned off the power to the house in March. Now the whole house stinks, and I had to have the fridge professionally removed and the kitchen cleaned because buyers are coming to look at it tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 451

By Evan Chong - 13/07/2011 14:48 - Canada

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 337

You deserved it 4 391

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 169

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Clothes Friends Birthday Money Awkward Technology Embarrassing Weird Parents Pregnancy Kids Grandparents Parenting Work Animals Family Intimacy AITA Health Doctor Painful Moving home Transportation Vacation LGBTQIA+ Love Religion Annoying

The Top

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 237

You deserved it 2 821

Today, I dropped a new 50lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot cushioned the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 763

You deserved it 4 267

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 870

You deserved it 17 442

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 70

Today, my parents came back from their holiday and were constantly asking about "the girl I had over". They thought so because of the two wine glasses in the dishwasher. I didn't have anyone over. I just got drunk two nights in a row and was too lazy to clean the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 592

You deserved it 845

Today, while going through our CCTV, I noticed that when my boyfriend gets home he walks past my daughter, even if she wants him to pick her up, and will ignore her as long as he can until I get home, and only then does he interact with her where I can see. I was tipped off by our babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 233