By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States
The Top
Bladder control
By jojo - 06/05/2009 19:11 - United States
Great friends
By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 04:00
By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom
By ohmigodimchokin - 19/11/2009 00:19 - United States
Nosey
By Jess - 04/05/2009 17:17 - United States
Mags
By Xabeix - 03/06/2019 14:00 - Canada - Gatineau
Puke is good for you
By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 07:57 - Germany - Zittau
By MaydayManic - 10/08/2011 13:11 - United States
By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 20:10 - United States
pollychrome tells us more.
By Flipside - 02/05/2009 00:46 - United States
By nobar - 04/06/2019 06:00
By ms98 - 05/08/2014 04:52 - Australia - Adelaide
Funny not funny
By Malic - 26/04/2022 18:00
Brain melter
By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 03:00
By anon - 12/10/2010 21:52 - United States
David Lee Roth?
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada
Catfished!
By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 05:56
By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa
The witching hour
By Donny - 04/08/2011 20:49 - United States
Roll with it
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
A real mess
By huh? - 09/05/2022 00:01
Mix up
By Anonymous - 01/08/2023 06:00
By Anonymous - 27/07/2014 18:44 - Germany - Oberursel
By lightblue - 10/10/2010 04:33 - United States
HOW COULD YOU?
By mylifesuckssss - 09/10/2010 04:39 - United States
Crockery story
By WasteOfOxygen08 - 23/06/2019 04:34
HELP!
By jenny2989 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By vanessa_d15 - 10/11/2009 09:09 - Canada
By Tallulah - 29/07/2011 06:56 - United Kingdom
Keywords
The rest of the story: I had my cellphone on me (I always do). I called a friend who lived close by who keeps a set of keys for us. She drove over while we sat in the garage (the car trunk was unlocked and I crawled through to get to the inside of the car, and I could get access to the garage door opener, but my husband had locked the inner door to the house - which is why I tried the garage door in the first place) waiting and listening to the monitor. I had grabbed a beer for solidarity, but wasn't really drinking it. I honestly don't like to drink very much since having the kids (obviously didn't drink while pregnant, either), but my husband is awesome and deserved some time off. So I grabbed beers for both of us so he would have one. Usually he just finishes my beer or it ends up getting poured out. The friend got there rather quickly (about 15 minutes) while my husband sat, drank his beer and wondered aloud which of his power tools he would use to cut through the garage wall into the house if the kids started crying (they never woke up). We got in, we laughed. I carry my keys in my pocket at all times now, and my husband doesn't think I'm weird for always having my cellphone on me anymore. It wasn't a crisis, but it sure did freak us out. We're pretty attentive parents, and these are the only kids we're ever going to have (I got my tubes tied after delivery - we figured that two kids would be one for each of us, 0 growth population and really all the kids we could ever take care of anyway), so sometimes the whole first parent thing can make one kind of dumb. Sleep is in short supply, but the kids are worth it.