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By anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:27

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 378

You deserved it 3 177

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 18:33 - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 977

You deserved it 3 073

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 872

You deserved it 3 692

By ph2222 - 05/10/2015 17:10 - United States - Toledo

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 277

You deserved it 3 666

Put the mouse back in the house, dude

By soulaar - 02/10/2015 14:22 - Vietnam - Dong Nai

Spicy

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 5 436

******

By anonymous - 04/09/2015 04:40 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got ahold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible." He was referring to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 694

You deserved it 2 272

By JohnB - 20/10/2009 00:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 4 230

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 782

You deserved it 6 714

Ambushed

By sydstreet - 09/04/2012 05:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, my anxiety was so bad that when I was riding my bike on the sidewalk and two pedestrians came walking in the opposite direction, I got so nervous about having to go between them or accidentally hitting them that I fell off my bike, into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 763

You deserved it 5 746

Waiting for my man

By Waste Someone Else's Time - 28/06/2015 05:06 - United States

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 873

You deserved it 2 639

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 888

You deserved it 2 684

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 595

You deserved it 5 067

By LonelyBoy - 01/02/2011 13:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 178

You deserved it 3 919

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 235

You deserved it 2 420

Run run run!

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 20:33 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 533

You deserved it 3 659

By Theo - 18/12/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 2 237

Living for the weekend

By ouch - 11/12/2009 07:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 251

You deserved it 8 505

By anonymous - 11/11/2010 14:27 - United States

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 523

You deserved it 3 185

By monjii - 12/12/2013 00:22 - Dominican Republic

Today, my boyfriend has always been a huge fan of war video games. After training for weeks, I challenged him at Battlefield 4. He lost. I lost him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 75

What happened?

By nayahbear24 - 27/08/2014 22:52 - United States - Trenton

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 232

You deserved it 3 931

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 058

You deserved it 6 571

So, how've you been?

By Is that..? - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 430

You deserved it 4 974

By Dora - 12/10/2009 13:21 - Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 284

You deserved it 7 992

By Bigbaby - 11/06/2015 22:29 - United States - Ontario

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 897

You deserved it 12 256

By Exodiafinder687 - 12/04/2015 09:06 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 117

You deserved it 2 549

Exodiafinder687 tells us more.

Exodiafinder687 58

Monday 13 April 2015 13:59

I just want to thank everyone for their support. Always be careful of strange looking insects. You never know which ones are dangerous.

By yuckduck - 10/04/2015 12:29 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 815

You deserved it 10 271

yuckduck tells us more.

yuckduck 9

Friday 10 April 2015 22:53

Ok guys, figured I'd give a quick update. Thanks to all of you who realized it was a mistake anyone could make! Lately I've been looking for a job, so I have a lot of interviews to keep straight. I had this interview, and another one tomorrow and they are both in the same town, I thought the interview tomorrow was the phone interview, and the one today was in person. Unfortunately I made a mistake, but I've learned to definitely keep my things more organized. The interviewer also completely understood and let me do it in person anyways. Hopefully you all learn from my mistake

By mareecasellafml - 27/03/2015 09:51 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 445

You deserved it 4 258

By longing for emancipation - 30/04/2016 03:09 - United States - Mitchell

Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 758

You deserved it 1 326

By GDubeau24 - 05/11/2013 17:34 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 074

You deserved it 2 874

Genius

By joshua - 25/01/2010 21:24 - United States

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 2 533

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The Top

The Top

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 444

You deserved it 2 804

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 163

You deserved it 39 175

Today, I was teaching my one year-old some new words. He pointed to the picture of a pig and said, "Mama". Guess I better start that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 340

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 802

You deserved it 5 051

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 946

You deserved it 3 843

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 977

You deserved it 2 335