Health and Painful: Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a... - FML

By Modeon123 - 20/10/2016 10:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 476

You deserved it 1 166

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Same thing different taste

Clogged

By ISmellBread - 15/12/2023 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 254

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 559

You deserved it 3 026

By Username - 25/05/2010 12:32 - France

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 103

You deserved it 36 208

By markzar - 05/05/2012 07:19 - United States - Amherst

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 752

You deserved it 2 324

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 4 689

RIP

By funnnyyyyy -_- - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 242

You deserved it 6 722

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 952

You deserved it 365

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 340

You deserved it 1 185

Panic on the streets of…

By Anstice - 05/10/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 659

You deserved it 15 554

By jelrid - 13/07/2016 04:38 - United States - Holt

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 927

You deserved it 3 962

Next

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

"Today, I witnessed a predator devouring what I thought was my hive's larval population, so I took it upon myself to defend the queen's honor and attacked. I nearly got eaten. Protecting rice. FML"

WCARlover 34

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:03

I'm sorry OP but if you want honey on your rice that's not the best way to go about it

Comments

WCARlover 34

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:03

I'm sorry OP but if you want honey on your rice that's not the best way to go about it

stingray112 24

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:07

Just eat through your nose next time

FalloutScrolls 25

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:09

Hope you bit down and exacted your revenge. It actually would have been merciful, granting it a quicker death like that.

stevenJB 25

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:12

Gotta get your protein one way or the other!

species4872 19

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:13

I'm home honey!

Tripartita 44

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

"Today, I witnessed a predator devouring what I thought was my hive's larval population, so I took it upon myself to defend the queen's honor and attacked. I nearly got eaten. Protecting rice. FML"

sungrays 16

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:36

Plus he would've died, right? From stinging something. So it's ghost bee writing the fml.

MasterTron 24

Thursday 20 October 2016 21:19

She. Some where around 90% of a hive is female

ShadowWyvern666 16

Thursday 20 October 2016 22:52

Very few bees die from stinging something, it's mainly just bumblebees.

buttcrackles 9

Friday 21 October 2016 16:10

#17 Feel free to read the FML again.

el_Jeffe_D 11

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

I guess the phrase "Bites without a sting" doesn't apply to you.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 20 October 2016 18:02

Are you sure it wasn't sriracha sauce? That shit is hot!

Alup132 22

Friday 21 October 2016 1:49

It's not very hot, actually.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 21 October 2016 4:30

I had Sriracha when Subway was doing the Hunger Games promo. It may depend on you but it was kinda there.

Yourheadache 19

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:13

hope you ate the ************ too, lol!

olpally 32

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:30

I'm cringing at the mental image of this. Ouch!

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Sex Intimacy Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 093

You deserved it 3 098

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 168

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 521

You deserved it 4 589

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 181

You deserved it 27 960

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 064

You deserved it 8 819

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 832

You deserved it 62 774

Today, I was going to have sex for the first time, but when my girlfriend and I got naked, I couldn't get it up. I eventually got hard but it involved me thinking about the time I accidentally saw my girlfriend's brother naked. I think I may be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 573

You deserved it 839