Work, Customers, Weird and Awkward: Delusional - FML

Delusional

By why - 06/11/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 112

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Same thing different taste

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 204

By Confused and Disgusted - 23/02/2015 23:42 - United States - Sparta

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 294

You deserved it 2 441

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Spicy

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 117

You deserved it 3 784

Glad to help out

By psychworker - 15/12/2009 18:04 - United States

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 167

You deserved it 3 945

By imy - 18/10/2011 15:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 9 473

By godhatesme - 26/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 628

You deserved it 36 845

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 130

By 123literateABC - 04/11/2015 03:10 - United States - Grand Haven

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 527

You deserved it 1 547

Perv

By WhyMe - 09/04/2017 22:00

Spicy

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor, then followed up with, "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 390

You deserved it 396

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

Next

Top comments

Brightside86 30

Saturday 7 November 2020 1:19

It's said you miss all the shot's you don't take...Feels like this would have been a good one to pass on though.

SAM i AM 4

Saturday 7 November 2020 19:26

looks like you could be "essential" in more ways than one! Sorry tho!

Comments

Brightside86 30

Saturday 7 November 2020 1:19

It's said you miss all the shot's you don't take...Feels like this would have been a good one to pass on though.

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 7 November 2020 1:23

And it wasn't..?😕

mariepastyglue 30

Saturday 7 November 2020 15:27

Was he in the parking lot holding it out on a map?

SAM i AM 4

Saturday 7 November 2020 19:26

looks like you could be "essential" in more ways than one! Sorry tho!

Nhayaa 21

Sunday 8 November 2020 5:48

Dick pic in live. I'll never get why they think that's what we want...

Iamthebanzai22 21

Sunday 8 November 2020 13:57

Sounds to me like he 'wants' a charge for sexual harassment. If you don't lay a charge against him, he will just continue doing that to women and using the same excuse. Do something and stop other women from being victimised like this.

Suaria 38

Sunday 8 November 2020 21:10

I kinda wish it was that simple. However I work in a psych hospital. I've seen other men naked although none so far had purposely showed me. i'm sure he won't be the last guy's dick I see at my job. I did report it to the proper channels at my job so that's really all I can do.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 118

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 644

You deserved it 5 885

The Top

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 500

You deserved it 7 806

Today, when I left for work, my girlfriend had gorgeous, very long (down to her hips), dark red hair. When I came home from work, her head was shaved. I asked her why she did it, and all she said was, "I just got tired of taking care of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 360

Today, I realized I'm a failure as a man. It's been 17 years since a woman even touched me. I grew up fatherless, have completely lost hope for any chance of a wife or kids. I'm 35 and never been in a relationship. I'm a complete failure because of all this, and have become a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 371

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 117

You deserved it 41 722

Today, my daughter tried to argue with me that Scandinavia isn’t a real place. She’s 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 267

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 166

You deserved it 8 835