Kids and Family: Daddy's little girl - FML

Daddy's little girl

By what did I raise?! - 19/03/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, my daughter asked to use my phone to find hers. Instead, she sent multiple messages to my boyfriend, trying to break up with him. When asked why she did it, she said it’s because she wants me to get back with her father. This would be somewhat understandable if she wasn’t 32 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 123

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Same thing different taste

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 686

You deserved it 3 149

Adulting

By FailedMommy - 24/02/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 21:54 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 388

You deserved it 1 894

By Anonwymous - 18/10/2009 10:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 946

You deserved it 5 520

Big red flag

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 19:00

Today, my daughter saw me and my boyfriend making out and tried to separate us because she’s a momma's girl. I thought it was cute and funny, but he yelled at her until she ran back to bed crying. He still thought we were still going to have sex after, because he “got rid of her for you.” DUMPED. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 249

Love is love

By Anonymous - 19/05/2023 12:00

Today, my 21 year-old daughter sent me the longest, violent, most hateful text I've ever seen in my life. Apparently she opposes me marrying her best friend of 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 2 381

By justmylife - 21/08/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 3 136

By coward - 03/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom

Today, after 4 days of avoiding me and screening his calls, my 24-year-old boyfriend sent his mother to break up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 2 024

Karma

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 12:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my daughter came crying to me that her boyfriend cheated on her. I'd like to comfort her, if it weren't for the fact that she manipulated him into cheating on his previous girlfriend with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 294

Proud father

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter came home in actual tears because a guy from college “dared”, yes “dared” to turn her down. She then went on a rant about how he “claimed to have a girlfriend” and “clearly doesn’t know how popular she is.” Clearly, I’ve raised a Mean Girl with a future as a 3-time divorcee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 497

Next

Top comments

princess_stabitty 20

Friday 19 March 2021 22:22

Your daughter is an asshole, you know that, right, OP?

LeahMichelle 6

Saturday 20 March 2021 2:27

She needs to grow up!

Comments

princess_stabitty 20

Friday 19 March 2021 22:22

Your daughter is an asshole, you know that, right, OP?

LeahMichelle 6

Saturday 20 March 2021 2:27

She needs to grow up!

Chazzster 28

Saturday 20 March 2021 4:06

(1) Never let idiot daughter have your phone again. (2) Change your passcode on the phone just in case.

LittleDoggo 15

Tuesday 23 March 2021 14:03

Your daughter sounds like my sister-in-law, she's capable of doing the same. Sorry your daughter is like that.

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The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 450

You deserved it 3 567

Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear Hanes, I'm unfit to have sex with her because I wear Fruit of the Loom and am therefore not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 424

The Top

Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 6 535

Today, I got an A+ on a writing assignment. My teacher asked me three times if I really did write this article myself, and didn't memorise an article from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 125

Today, I got a few notes from this girl I've liked at school for about two years, telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocked on the door and I panicked and said, "Hold on!" I shoved them under my pillow, then told him to come in. He said, "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 155

You deserved it 11 643

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 492

You deserved it 1 618

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 301

You deserved it 92 917

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 267

You deserved it 37 953