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By Former Professor - 21/07/2019 22:00

Today, I happily went to an interview after job searching for months. I learned a large part of my job would be cleaning the toilets. Every. Single. Hour. I used to lecture at a university until budget cuts happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 215

The heat is on

By Emma - 17/03/2021 22:59

Today, I met my boyfriend’s 6 year-old son. The first thing he said to me was, "You’re not going to leave us for another man like mommy did, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 114

Next time, wait a couple of years

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 00:02

Today, my boyfriend met my parents, siblings, and some other family members. Thirty minutes later, he broke up with me and stormed out, yelling no way was he staying with me because they’re all fucking psychotic. He's my second boyfriend driven away by my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 208

Make it quick

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 22:00

Today, I miss the days when I was younger and my parents used to at least try to hide all the sex they were having. Now I’m all grown up, they just yell out not to come upstairs for at least 30 minutes, and they no longer even attempt to keep the noise down either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 517

Happy days

By Anonymous - 27/08/2019 16:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I desperately needed a mental health day, so I took the day off work and got some junk food and wine. A few hours later, I'm in hospital with gallstones and pancreatitis, needing an emergency surgery. My mental health day turned into multiple weeks off work, and a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 09/09/2017 16:00 - Australia - Coogee

Today, while holidaying in Greece, I approached a cute girl in a club and offered her a drink in Greek. She said, "No Greek!" and then called me an "ugly kiss-ass" in English, thinking I wouldn't understand. I'm Australian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 086

You deserved it 423

Some of these things aren't related

By Anonymous - 22/07/2022 18:00

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 503

By NooOOooOO - 11/10/2017 23:15

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 341

Freak out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 10:00

Today, we got on the plane for our honeymoon and her parents were on the same damn plane, going to the same spa resort, in the room next door, and my wife has the nerve to tell me it was a coincidence. How we supposed to get our sexy freak on, sharing a bedroom wall with her repressed mother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 209

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 344

Chainsaw massacre

By sleepless in sleeplessness - 18/06/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snores like a lumberjack. Even when I leave to sleep on the couch, I can still hear her through the door. She won’t go to the doctor because, "snoring runs in her family and they’re all just fine." Yeah, uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 152

By Cold&Soaked - 03/02/2018 05:00

Today, I set my alarm and got up early to view the Super Blue Blood Moon. I was all wrapped up in a blanket and had a perfect view from my backyard. It’s been a truly amazing experience, made even more exciting by the sprinklers turning on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 852

You deserved it 837

Painful party trick

By Anonymous - 15/09/2022 19:00

Today, I caught my idiot son with a pencil up his penis, because apparently he wanted to see if he could use it to write with as a party trick to impress girls. I demanded he take it out, which he did, but the rubber eraser stayed inside his penis. Now I’m spending my Sunday holding his hand in A&E. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 249

Blood is thicker than a dollar bill

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 00:01

Today, I woke up and wished I hadn’t. I’m broke, tired, hungry and sick of my family, who is rich by the way, not even contributing a penny to help me from being evicted. Oh, and I lost my job last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 475

Baby Got Back

By backfat - 18/05/2018 01:44

Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 725

You deserved it 1 123

Social distancing done right

By Anonymous - 22/04/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend of two and half years broke up with me because I'm no longer able to give her the physical attention she needs. I live 4 hours away and we have been this way for almost a year. She found another guy to do it behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178

You deserved it 332

Tense

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 17:00

Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend, who I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 323

You deserved it 259

Bad romance

By wtf - 26/11/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 383

By Rach - 08/08/2018 23:30

Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 090

You deserved it 799

Call CPS!

By Anonymous - 30/05/2020 17:00

Today, I discovered via my webcam that my brother believes in teaching babies to self-soothe, which in practice means ignoring my baby until she stops crying, only changing the nappy once in the 7 hours I was at work, and forgetting to feed her at all because he’s too busy watching Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 110

You deserved it 324

Make it stop

By firstandlastjob - 13/06/2020 14:11

Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 221

Hey! Teachers! Leave those kids alone!

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 13:58

Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 196

Always save to the cloud!

By beachedwhale21 - 22/06/2020 05:01

Today, I finally finished typing up a story I had been working on for about 7 months, saved it on my computer and left to hang with friends. Came home later to find my dad had sold my laptop in order to pay his phone bill. My hard work is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 273

Long time coming, probably

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 03:00

Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 1 608

Life ain't a movie, son

By Effwmn - 20/12/2022 09:00

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 1 327

By Anonymous - 31/08/2018 14:30

Today, after my live-in boyfriend decided to take a few days away due to a fight, I found out he's been staying with, and sleeping, with my aunt. I just lost a relative and a man all in one shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 337

You deserved it 274

Harry Pothead

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 23:02 - Canada - North York

Today, my husband said he wouldn't be talking to me for weeks, because I didn't buy him weed. Yeah, I paid all the bills and the rent this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 205

Animal Farm

By Jaden Dubin - 31/07/2020 08:02

Today, I found a mouse stuck in a glue trap at work. I had to take it home to get it off with oil, and then I released it outside. Twenty minutes later, the cat returned it to me, dead. After that, the dogs dug it up where I buried it. Sorry, mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 457

By singing

By Ramb0 - 21/12/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - Christchurch

Today, I was headbanging so hard to a song in the shower that I hit my head on the wall and got a concussion. I'm now in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 2 193

It's close enough

By Jaymail - 17/08/2020 08:01

Today, after many hours studying a complete course of Spanish, I felt really good. I had accomplished something, something I could really use next week when I fly to Mexico on vacation. Then I found out what I had learned was Spanish as they speak it in Spain, not how they speak it in Latin America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 187

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The Top

Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 198

You deserved it 34 586

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 234

You deserved it 1 292

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 257

Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 202

Today, I ride my bike 5.5 miles every day to get to and from work. My job is filled with a bunch of melodramatic 40-something year-old men that can't take a joke. I'm $10,000 in debt. I don't speak to my family or old friends, as they're no good and I'm trying to change my life trying but feel like I'm getting nowhere. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 269

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 99