The Top

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Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 135

You deserved it 423

Capitalism 101

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 02:02

Today, a massive septic tank that takes waste from 11 factories exploded. The wind is blowing directly towards us. Even with closed windows, no amount of perfume helps. There's no escape. People have puked. We've still got 4 hours of production and management doesn't care about the workers outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 120

No you don't

By Triangle - 06/05/2025 03:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my half-drunk best friend, who I share lot of hobbies with, and love hanging out with, publicly confessed her love for me, and described how her heart burns every time she sees me with my wife, who's my childhood sweetheart, and love of my life. Now I am having to choose between the two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 356

Relatable

By yuupper - 19/05/2021 10:59

Today, I realized that I could have slept all day yesterday and it would've changed nothing. I don't talk to anyone and I don't do anything. My presence or lack of presence in this world means nothing and affects nobody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 268

The nerve of some people

By evecharneco - 25/05/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, it's been a few months since got fired from a job I'd spent two years at. Before getting fired, I trained the entire new staff, and to this day they still message me for help, even though I was fired months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 120

Don't mention it again

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 12:00

Today, our daughter threatened to throw us out if her mom asked about having children again. My wife is completely unable to control herself, and lasted a full 30 seconds before trying to restart the baby conversation. We weren’t just thrown out, she soaked us with the hose all the way to our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 2 003

Classy.

By Alexis - 15/11/2017 23:00 - United States

Today, I spent 12 hours in an airport rather than go back to the apartment of the man I traveled to see for the weekend. Instead of wine, dine, sixty-nine, he took me to a tailgating event and introduced me to two girls he had a threesome with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 096

You deserved it 678

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 378

By ShanghaiSamuel - 30/01/2018 22:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, a basketball opponent ran into my elbow and hurt himself. He called me to the hospital and, to be a good person, I went to check on him. It turns out he reported me to the police to try and get money out of me. Now I'm stuck at the station while they “investigate”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 579

You deserved it 253

The single life

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 00:02

Today, I was invited to my ten year high school reunion. I refuse to go because I’ll stick out like a sore thumb. All the girls I grew up with will be there with their husbands, while I’m a single loser who can’t get a man to save her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 315

First step

By It_gets_better - 16/07/2021 08:11

Today, I finally got my first job offer in my desired career field at the city animal shelter. I have a bachelor's degree in Animal Science, two minors, and I graduated with honors. The job I was offered? Cleaning kennels, part-time, on weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 328

It_gets_better tells us more.

It_gets_better 19

Thursday 15 July 2021 4:40

OP here. I realize no matter where I go I'd start at an entry-level job; but even most entry level jobs that require a degree would pay the bills for my family. My biggest disappointment is that I was only offered a barely above minimum wage, part-time job, after a three-month application process. I spent hours watching recorded meetings and looking over the shelter's statistics and brainstorming improvements to present at my interview (because I applied for an entry-level desk job) so it felt like a slap in the face to spend so much time and energy on this only to be hit with, as kfchicken correctly pointed out, a job any able-bodied person could do- and only part time! (I know they had full time positions available, so I'm wracking my brain about who could possibly have been chosen over me.)

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 01:00

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 279

The Guru

By Anonymous - 24/03/2020 23:13

Today, my husband told me he'd met a life guru online who, after paying the £29.99 consultancy fee, advised him to seize happiness at all times. So he decided to seize the 19 year-old redhead across the street, move in with her and get her pregnant. This is the happiest I’ve seen him in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 309

The Times They Are a-Changin'

By Jobless - 28/03/2020 14:00

Today, I woke up early, felt very energetic, decided to run a couple of miles and bought muffins for my colleagues on my way to the office. Then my boss told me they're shutting us down. At the end of a day that started really great, I'm jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 163

It's not for everyone

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 02:00

Today, it's our 30 year 'no-wedding' anniversary, as in 30 years since she refused to marry me. I mean, we’ve only been together 30 years, have 4 adult children, 6 grandchildren, a house we jointly own, and a retirement villa waiting for us in Tuscany, and yet she doesn’t want to marry me, ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 846

What about me?

By crushed - 23/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife told me about an old boyfriend she had. She told me that they used to fool around, and that she’d give him blow jobs all the time. I never get any action like that from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 271

Warm up guy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2020 08:08

Today, it seems that my four previous girlfriends all left me because they found better, more attractive, more wealthy, more interesting men. My entire love life feels like I’m the warm up act for the main event of other dudes getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 287

When it rains, it pours.

By BadKarma - 28/08/2018 07:00 - United States - Douglas

Today, my washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner, and laptop all stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 369

You deserved it 169

Juicer

By alcomom - 01/07/2020 02:02

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 281

Time to run

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 08:01 - Australia - Vermont

Today, while out shopping, my fiancé started talking to a cashier in a flirty manner as if I wasn't there, and casually referred to me as his housemate. I felt my heart break, but I'm too weak to bring it up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 681

3spooky5me

By Anonymous - 10/09/2018 13:00

Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 238

By Hurtingincanada - 17/10/2018 05:00

Today, I woke up with bronchitis and hemorrhoids. I'm getting married in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 134

You deserved it 203

Questionable parenting

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 05:00

Today, I found out my son is getting bullied. His stepdad doesn’t care, in fact he’s all for bullying because he thinks it will force my son to stop being smart, or "a dork" as he calls him, and fit in with the normal kids for a change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 218

Just a prank, dad

By Anonymous - 11/09/2020 17:01

Today, my son got drunk and managed to colour in my bald patch with permanent marker while I was asleep. It’s super noticeable and I look like a complete prat. Plus in a few hours, I’m supposed to be on my first date since my divorce 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 176

Follow @fml on Threads!

By Cooked - 17/07/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that anyone can see your Threads replies to other people. My wife kicked me out of our house because she saw one I made under a high school friend’s gym selfie, saying, “I’d walk 100 miles barefoot through broken glass and rusty nails just to hear dat ass fart on a walkie talkie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 1 426

Up to date

By miji - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, for the fifth time in a row, my parents tried to discuss my pooping habits with me at the dinner table. This time, we had guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 489

You deserved it 292

Mind your own *******

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 22:00

Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 431

By Phil - 30/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Plain City

Today, I was driving slightly off road for work to clean a well. I didn't want to get my boots muddy by walking the last 20 ft through mud, so I tried to drive through. I spent the next four hours on hands and knees digging my way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 3 146

By doilookold - 07/12/2018 05:00

Today, stopping at a rest plaza, the cashier at Wendy’s asked my best friend if I was her mom. We are only two years apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 579

You deserved it 234

By anon - 07/02/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted bicycle seat. I've been walking like John Wayne all afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 113

You deserved it 785

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The Top

The Top

Today, I realized that I’m so used to be stood up or ghosted for dates that I don’t even bother getting ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 160

Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 397

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 58 680

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 669

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 235

You deserved it 18 681

Today, I had to give advice to my best friend and love of my life. What kind of advice? What to wear while on a date with some guy. We're roommates, and she wouldn't stop telling me about everything when she got home. This happens on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 986