By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Chester

Keep your secrets, do your own laundry

Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1460

You deserved it

240

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Doomed

They're everywhere

Roommate from hell

By msamberjade - United States - Columbus

New movie

Today, my boyfriend came home with three of his best friends and broke up with me in front of them. Then, when I asked if we could talk privately, he filmed it for "documentation". FML

I agree, your life sucks

2418

You deserved it

226

Favorite

By grossed out - Australia - Melbourne

Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13953

You deserved it

1247

Favorite

By fourfootnine - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45629

You deserved it

4354

Favorite

By insurgent - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12474

You deserved it

2032

Favorite

By jynxisadouchebag - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29281

You deserved it

5785

Favorite

By notthedad - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60353

You deserved it

5632

Favorite

By JerryClark - United States - San Bernardino

So beautiful!

Today, my best female friend sent me a nude to make sure it looked good before she sent it to the guy she likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2746

You deserved it

502

Favorite

By SilverRaven77 - 19/1/2021 23:01

Backwards world

Today, I was fired from my job for wearing a mask. The manager said I must have Covid, since I was the only one wearing a mask and following state mandated orders. I told him, "I'll see you in court!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1183

You deserved it

134

Favorite

By Ryanissaur - Australia

Today, being a music student, a professional orchestra performed a symphony that I wrote and dedicated to my girlfriend. It took months to compose and it the first and only time it was ever going to be played. My girlfriend forgot to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51366

You deserved it

2989

Favorite

By Alliente - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28991

You deserved it

3800

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57314

You deserved it

3259

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my landlord asked me to get rid of the flower boxes I have at the window in the stairwell. Why? Because they are disgusting. Why are they disgusting? Because his cat keeps using them as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1443

You deserved it

137

Favorite

By nolove - Australia

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37387

You deserved it

3638

Favorite

By harrington61 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

I agree, your life sucks

51183

You deserved it

3901

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Sandston

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49654

You deserved it

5609

Favorite

By justlittleoldme - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks

34762

You deserved it

7258

Favorite

By gunnerdog - United States - Galveston

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45078

You deserved it

4989

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Newport

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23721

You deserved it

2149

Favorite

By rachiej8 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36689

You deserved it

5468

Favorite

By biblio - United States

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28100

You deserved it

2478

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Gerald

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60438

You deserved it

3706

Favorite

By Failed Parent - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27816

You deserved it

4614

Favorite

By Anonymous

Mind your own business

Today, I heard a man call a girl a r*tard. Furious, I stormed up to him and demanded he apologize for using such a vile slur. The girl started laughing her ass off and said, "Mind your own business, r*tard." FML

I agree, your life sucks

944

You deserved it

2935

Favorite

By plasticfantastic - United Kingdom

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52615

You deserved it

9598

Favorite

By Jammy238 - France

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28606

You deserved it

3717

Favorite

By ksztte - United States

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremly selfish person, and that I do not love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a backrub in 2 weeks, sleep too much and have a hormonal problem. Once again, I AM PREGNANT! FML

I agree, your life sucks

36977

You deserved it

5844

Favorite

By Orangehead - United States

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30228

You deserved it

3884

Favorite

By Sexless4Life - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55729

You deserved it

6906

Favorite

By snarly1 - United States

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32748

You deserved it

2476

Favorite

By Jailbird - United States - Redmond

Today, I took a group of teens with me to hang up posters for our church's yard sale. Because it's summer, we went out at dusk to beat the heat. Someone called the cops on us, and we were arrested for "gang activity". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4189

You deserved it

536

Favorite

By recmonty - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22597

You deserved it

2069

Favorite

By ew - United States - Garland

Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10411

You deserved it

28961

Favorite

By :( - United States

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13280

You deserved it

42206

Favorite

By Dildno - United States - Worcester

Today, I was using my iPad for a presentation. I locked it and left it connected to the projector while I prepared to present. When I turned around to begin, I realized there had been a push notification from Groupon asking if I was still interested in a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10184

You deserved it

3602

Favorite

By gabormelchior - United States

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32128

You deserved it

75471

Favorite

By Poordaughter5 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11056

You deserved it

763

Favorite

By PrinceOfBritain - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30339

You deserved it

3496

Favorite

By Maria39018 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57241

You deserved it

13617

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I found out my boyfriend was going to propose. He'd bought me a beautiful white gold ring that I never got to see. His estranged mom stole the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2287

You deserved it

Favorite

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41061

You deserved it

5075

Favorite

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Top comments

By Tiffani Carter | 6

#7846432 - Thursday 26 September 2019 2:17

Do your own laundry.

By Wadlaen | 19

#7846400 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 23:05

That's commitment to the job!

COMMENTS

By Lt_Senpai | 21

#7846386 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 22:06

What the fuck?

By Wadlaen | 19

#7846400 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 23:05

That's commitment to the job!

By chyiochan | 31

#7846405 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 23:24

I suppose things need to be dirty like her to be worthy of her time. Can only imagine her thought after checking: "I've smelled worse!!"

By Tanya Favela | 2

#7846412 - Thursday 26 September 2019 0:02

It’s sucks but you deserve it cause you could be doing your own laundry 🤷🏻‍♀️

By Tiffani Carter | 6

#7846432 - Thursday 26 September 2019 2:17

Do your own laundry.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7846438 - Thursday 26 September 2019 4:19

You should only worry if your particularly dirty undies go mysteriously missing.

By Fickle | 6

#7846526 - Thursday 26 September 2019 14:26

Time for you to pull up your big girl pants and do laundry for yourself. Furthermore, seriously you are dumb enough to post something like that?

By Abby Whitaker | 8

#7846592 - Thursday 26 September 2019 21:06

Maybe you should start washing your own clothes

By Abbusser | 9

#7846955 - Saturday 28 September 2019 15:19

Does her smile grow larger when she finds an "exceptionally" dirty pair?

By Felice Godin | 19

#7847043 - Sunday 29 September 2019 0:56

gross