By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Chester

Keep your secrets, do your own laundry

Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1468

You deserved it

240

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Commando

Broken heart

Fundies say the darndest things

By nothing - United States

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18640

You deserved it

56663

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/8/2020 05:01

Me is what matters

Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1340

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33464

You deserved it

2317

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By KindStranger - United Kingdom - Shrewsbury

Getting frisky

Today, I was walking home when I thought I saw a man beating up a woman in a phone box, I opened the door and pulled the man of the woman, turns out they where just "getting frisky" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1928

You deserved it

508

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By jobless - United States

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25312

You deserved it

58233

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29034

You deserved it

1970

Favorite

By jeremyj - United States

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29138

You deserved it

2809

Favorite

By cyantist - United States

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24799

You deserved it

5156

Favorite

By Cashier - United States

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29118

You deserved it

3761

Favorite

By Ihavealisp - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34610

You deserved it

7033

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/11/2020 14:02

Can't see for shit

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

921

You deserved it

208

Favorite

By Anonymous - Italy - Bologna

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11842

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1248

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30215

You deserved it

5674

Favorite

By cfaul001 - United States

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12162

You deserved it

27637

Favorite

By miss tomato - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24428

You deserved it

5644

Favorite

By Anonymous - Denmark

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16381

You deserved it

34772

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my 6-year-old son was being charming by smiling and batting his eyelashes at me. When I asked him, "What?" he replied, "When you die, can I have your hair?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1504

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53008

You deserved it

3214

Favorite

By failure - Australia

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37915

You deserved it

3051

Favorite

By the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63997

You deserved it

7020

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By Anonymous - United States - San Antonio

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18596

You deserved it

1478

Favorite

By duuuuude - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50886

You deserved it

23223

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By heaventlyassbutt - United States - Brooklyn

Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10919

You deserved it

990

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/1/2021 15:30 - Canada - Cambridge

Sweet, my ass

Today, I worked with a sweet old lady. She refused to cook most of the food on the menu, and the food she did cook was super oily. When she received complaints about it, she blamed me for not draining the oil. When the customer defended me, she then told the customer it was her job to drain the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks

773

You deserved it

Favorite

By stephiexbabexx - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8789

You deserved it

39353

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got an angry text, asking me why I wasn't at the staff dinner. I've been gone for the last 2 weeks, and I wasn't told about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1517

You deserved it

Favorite

By RikkiTikkiTavi

The unexpected

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

730

You deserved it

3421

Favorite

By heartattack

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2497

You deserved it

274

Favorite

By dragonstooth257

Today, my child is so super clingy and needy, I have to sit and watch her bounce on the trampoline attentatively or else face hours and hours of whining. She's like the Screamapillar from the Simpsons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1526

You deserved it

1385

Favorite

By bmonehh - United States

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45320

You deserved it

3474

Favorite

By Now Single - Reserved

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

118478

You deserved it

8345

Favorite

By GeeThanksMom

Today, I’m having knee surgery. I can’t drive for the next week because of the heavy duty pain killers, so my mom told me I'll have to walk to and from school. It’s only a couple of miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4570

You deserved it

202

Favorite

By ahhhboys - Romania

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36476

You deserved it

6228

Favorite

By Sarah-D

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks

16174

Phew, glad it wasn't me

2226

Favorite

By Teen With No Money - United States

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31290

You deserved it

3098

Favorite

By Lio - France

Awkward

Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to a new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21045

You deserved it

41742

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25532

You deserved it

5607

Favorite

By Jesstanothergurl - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11571

You deserved it

863

Favorite

By cat whisperer - United States

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48871

You deserved it

10644

Favorite

By Bacular - United Kingdom

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21029

You deserved it

5904

Favorite

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Top comments

By Tiffani Carter | 6

#7846432 - Thursday 26 September 2019 2:17

Do your own laundry.

By Wadlaen | 21

#7846400 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 23:05

That's commitment to the job!

COMMENTS

By Lt_Senpai | 21

#7846386 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 22:06

What the fuck?

By Wadlaen | 21

#7846400 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 23:05

That's commitment to the job!

By Seeya55 | 31

#7846405 - Wednesday 25 September 2019 23:24

I suppose things need to be dirty like her to be worthy of her time. Can only imagine her thought after checking: "I've smelled worse!!"

By Tanya Favela | 2

#7846412 - Thursday 26 September 2019 0:02

It’s sucks but you deserve it cause you could be doing your own laundry 🤷🏻‍♀️

By Tiffani Carter | 6

#7846432 - Thursday 26 September 2019 2:17

Do your own laundry.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7846438 - Thursday 26 September 2019 4:19

You should only worry if your particularly dirty undies go mysteriously missing.

By Fickle | 6

#7846526 - Thursday 26 September 2019 14:26

Time for you to pull up your big girl pants and do laundry for yourself. Furthermore, seriously you are dumb enough to post something like that?

By Abby Whitaker | 8

#7846592 - Thursday 26 September 2019 21:06

Maybe you should start washing your own clothes

By Abbusser | 9

#7846955 - Saturday 28 September 2019 15:19

Does her smile grow larger when she finds an "exceptionally" dirty pair?

By Felice Godin | 19

#7847043 - Sunday 29 September 2019 0:56

gross