Love, Sex and Awkward: Paging Sigmund Freud - FML

Paging Sigmund Freud

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 122

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Spicy

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 148

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 120

By Junior - 26/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 719

You deserved it 2 963

Talk to me

By iMarriedmymother - 07/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 940

You deserved it 2 554

Gone to the dogs

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend started crying because I occasionally text a work friend, for whom I have zero interest in. My girlfriend's medication has completely killed her sex drive and she no longer wants to be touched at all. She acts like hanging out with anyone is a chore. My social interaction is down to just our dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 212

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 17 599

By nadette - 25/05/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 690

You deserved it 3 977

Libido says no

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Spicy

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 787

Daddy

By Anonymous - 07/06/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I have come to accept that my girlfriend has such obvious daddy issues that I can only turn her on by dressing/acting/sounding like him, but not too obviously because if she realises that’s what I’m doing, she screams, “I do not want to have sex with my dad!” then starts crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 172

Tricky situation

By fml9124 - 08/10/2020 10:01 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife gave me the green light to have sex with other women. She beat the cancer, but sex for her is now painful and she wasn't really interested in sex the last 10 years anyway. So why does my life suck? Because I don't want sex with anyone else. Now she's mad at me for making her feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 070

You deserved it 220

Next

Top comments

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 13 April 2024 22:28

Then you should try to make a deal with her father!

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 13 April 2024 23:57

finding a girlfriend that like sex isn't that hard. find one that actually likes you instead of just hating her dad.

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 13 April 2024 22:28

Then you should try to make a deal with her father!

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 13 April 2024 23:57

finding a girlfriend that like sex isn't that hard. find one that actually likes you instead of just hating her dad.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 151

You deserved it 39 590

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I was feeling very sad and alone, so I went to see my mom. I was there for over two hours, but she was on the phone gossiping with her church hens for about an hour and 45 minutes. Then she wonders why I hardly ever visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 127

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 3 974

Today, I accidentally let one of my grandma's cats outside, so I tried to get her back in. Unfortunately, this proved to be very difficult, because this damn cat would wait for me to get near her, and as soon as I came close to picking her up, she would leap and run away, then wait for me again. Show-off bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 251

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 487

You deserved it 5 329

Today, I mistook a tree in my back yard as an intruder and called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 408

You deserved it 10 228

Today, a girl told me, "You're so cute, like a monkey." I seriously don't know if it's a compliment or if I'm being insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 107