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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (48777)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46689) - you deserved it (26084)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

#20796093
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (3630)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72874) - you deserved it (4427)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50749) - you deserved it (7371)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (48469)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42992) - you deserved it (25052)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69242) - you deserved it (5973)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50260) - you deserved it (4587)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (6144)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55059) - you deserved it (5227)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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