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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Free market, amirite?

    By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 11:01

    Today, I work in HR and last week we'd hired an apprentice for our repair shop. He was great. I spent $500 company dollars on his uniform. Later, he called me saying he had been offered a job paying $10 more an hour than what we were offering, as much as our experienced workers make. I either have to match it, or be out a helper. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 468
    You deserved it 1 122
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    Broken healthcare

    By ittybittyannie - 07/01/2022 16:59 - Australia - Spring Hill

    Today, I have a severe infection. The last doctor I saw was in the ER and he gave me antibiotics ineffective against what I have, and sent me home. The doctor before that gave me a dose of antibiotics you’d give a toddler, so they didn’t work either. It has spread to my kidneys and I should’ve been admitted to hospital. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 238
    You deserved it 113
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    Barely legal

    By nikki - 04/01/2022 23:01 - United States - Federal Way

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my biology teacher subscribed to my OnlyFans. This wouldn’t be weird if the last time I saw or spoke to him wasn't my freshman year of high school. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 641
    You deserved it 1 966
    Share  

    When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression

    By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 08:01

    Today, again, I listened to dozens of people continue to whine about how pandemic restrictions are the hardest thing ever while continuing to battle the chronic illnesses, loss of family, underemployment, trauma, and ensuing depression I've struggled with, largely in secret, for the last 15+ years. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 001
    You deserved it 318
    Share  

    Probably

    By nexus - 01/01/2022 07:59 - Papua New Guinea

    Today, did anyone else spent the last moments of 2021 shitting their brains out on a toilet? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 814
    You deserved it 204
    Share  

    Unmasked

    By crushedgal - 30/12/2021 07:59

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I found out I have Covid, from a guy who ghosted me last week after sex. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 174
    You deserved it 640
    Share  

    Bad omen

    By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 02:01

    Today, my boyfriend of two years completely lost it because last night I told him I wanted to move to a less remote area so I can be independent. He shouted that I bring no money in, he has to do everything, and that I that I snore so loud he can hear me from downstairs where he sleeps. I'm pregnant. We are in our 40s. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 321
    You deserved it 580
    Share  

    This the end

    By Anonymous - 27/12/2021 20:01

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my dad's last words before he fell into a coma, and later died, were about how he wanted to stick his face in the ass of his 20-something nurse and motorboat her cheeks. I had to lie to my mother and say that his last words were that he wanted to see her again before the end. Thanks dad, NOT. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 981
    You deserved it 203
    Share  

    A cute Christmas Eve story

    By EpicOracle - 24/12/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

    Today, I realised I'm tired of the bossy attitude exuded by the woman who I once believed was my soulmate. Tonight might just be the last night we'd sleep on same bed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 023
    You deserved it 213
    Share  

    Wait your turn

    By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 02:01 - Australia - Adelaide

    Today, I found out I’m not getting a raise, despite my ‘outstanding’ performance, since the company made a loss this year. Last year I didn’t get a raise because of COVID uncertainty. The year before that I didn’t get a raise because I only just got ‘promoted’, where I also didn’t get a raise. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 157
    You deserved it 128
    Share  

    Awkward conversation ahead

    By Anonymous - 19/12/2021 23:01

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 829
    You deserved it 244
    Share  

    Rebellion

    By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 10:59 - Panama - Cuba

    Today, my sister and I are never allowed to go out, and by out I mean even open the front door. Last night, I snuck outside. What did I do in my rare act of rebellion? I cut the grass. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 999
    You deserved it 133
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    Really heavy sleeper

    By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 02:01 - United Kingdom

    Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 922
    You deserved it 147
    Share  

    Panic stations!

    By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 05:00

    Today, my fiancé picked today of all days to have one of his depressive episodes where he can’t even get out of bed. We’re supposed to be getting married in four hours, and his episodes can last over a week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 802
    You deserved it 1 141
    Share  

    Pay a living wage

    By Anonymous - 07/12/2021 14:01

    Today, I live in a world where I work 50 hours a week, and yet after paying all necessary bills, eating one meal a day, and only drinking water from the tap, I am £130 pounds poorer than last week, all because I had to use my credit card and increase my debt to buy petrol and pay the gas bill. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 092
    You deserved it 153
    Share  

    What the F are you doing?

    By WaychulMonster - 03/12/2021 02:03 - United States - Salt Lake City

    Today, when I got back from running errands, I had to explain to my 50 year-old mother-in-law the dangers of suffocation. She let my 5 year-old daughter play with the plastic packaging from water bottles, and it was OK because, "it was only on her head for 2-3 minutes." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 223
    You deserved it 132
    Share  

    Mommy issues

    By Anonymous - 30/11/2021 20:01

    Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 306
    You deserved it 496
    Share  

    Don't break my stuff

    By erin - 30/11/2021 11:01

    Today, I complained to my mom about her always acting cold towards me, and that it feels like she doesn’t love me anymore. Her response was, “You’re damn right I don’t, not since you broke my favorite glass last year.” She used to tell me she’d always love me no matter what. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 188
    You deserved it 139
    Share  

    Anticlimax

    By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 05:01 - United States - Odenville

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 452
    You deserved it 328
    Share  

    Bible belt

    By Anonymous - 27/11/2021 14:01

    Today, after I recently started going back to church, my husband, who was last inside a church when he was replacing a boiler, told me I’d better knock it off because our kids threatened to stop visiting, and our neighbours think we’re “that couple.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 705
    You deserved it 636
    Share  

    Denial

    By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 23:00

    Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 773
    You deserved it 252
    Share  

    Parental fear

    By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 02:01

    Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 377
    You deserved it 331
    Share  

    I'm right here

    By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 05:02

    Today, I realised my husband of 14 years is addicted to his phone. It's the first thing he sees in the morning, and last thing he looks at. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 807
    You deserved it 169
    Share  

    Exhausted

    By snoozes - 16/11/2021 20:00 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 652
    You deserved it 261
    Share  

    Built to last

    By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 11:00

    Today, my boyfriend broke up with me only two weeks after he moved into my place, because his massive German shepherd keeps running scared from my cat. Apparently, I ruined his dog by letting my cat be dominant to him, and it’s all my fault his dog is a wuss. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 142
    You deserved it 162
    Share  

    Another brick in the wall

    By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 19:59 - United States - Vancouver

    Today, I ran into one of my exes, and she seemed straight up shocked to see me. She said, "OH MY GOD! You're alive?" like I was a suicide risk or something. Nope, turns out her last 3 boyfriends before me were so unstable that when she cheated on them, they killed themselves shortly after. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 492
    You deserved it 100
    Share  

    Assman

    By Panda_bruh96 - 12/11/2021 05:00

    Today, I love my boyfriend just as I always have, but I'm realizing I don't know if we'll last because he's an angry drunk. He drinks frequently, and I've talked to him about it, only to be met with, "I'm a grown ass man." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 074
    You deserved it 236
    Share  

    New JCS FML

    By ImAnAhole - 10/11/2021 17:00

    Today, I found out the Tinder girl I'd ghosted after going on a date with her committed suicide. They came to me for answers because I was the last known person that ever talked to her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 325
    You deserved it 865
    Share  

    Addicted to the anticipation

    By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 13:59 - United States - Verona

    Today, as every day for the past three weeks, I had to hear my housemate complain about an order being delayed. The last couple of orders took two months to arrive, and she decided to order yet again from that company, so she checks daily and I have to hear about it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 969
    You deserved it 143
    Share  

    Leave me alone!

    By mattrd - 06/11/2021 08:00

    Today, I got my 11-year old son the NERF Elite 2.0 Shockwave RD-15 Blaster that he has been begging for as his birthday gift. Guess who the primary target is. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 444
    You deserved it 988
    Share  
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    Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 959
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    Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 22 921
    You deserved it 4 676
    Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 545
    You deserved it 6 761
    Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with that I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response : "Not significantly." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 17 828
    You deserved it 30 776
    Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 272
    You deserved it 162
    Today, I found out my husband sent 3000 friend requests to random women on Facebook. He says it's no big deal and doesn't mean anything. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 111
    You deserved it 88
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