Today, I realised my husband of 14 years is addicted to his phone. It's the first thing he sees in the morning, and last thing he looks at. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML
Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML
Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML
Today, I caught my husband saying, “Love you too, can’t wait to see you” on his phone. I asked him who he was talked to and he said, “my coworker Ricky.” When I asked to see his texts with “Ricky” he threw his phone out the fifth story window, saying “Oopsy!” He then threw a fit saying I owe him a new phone. FML
Today, I discovered my husband hadn't stopped his dangerous gambling habit, even though he'd promised to stop after I caught him the first time two months ago. I'm hurt, sad, confused, and angry. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML
Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML
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Top comments
randybryant799 21
I'm laughing. He's doing exactly what most of us do.
RichardPencil 32
A lot of people are phoneys these days.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
A lot of people are phoneys these days.
randybryant799 21
I'm laughing. He's doing exactly what most of us do.
protoskore 27
hide his charger
idragosani 17
... and over half the planet... (Me included)