Bad omen

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend of two years completely lost it because last night I told him I wanted to move to a less remote area so I can be independent. He shouted that I bring no money in, he has to do everything, and that I that I snore so loud he can hear me from downstairs where he sleeps. I'm pregnant. We are in our 40s. FML
I agree, your life sucks 959
You deserved it 424

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He has no right to debase your value. Not now, not ever. Get away from that narcissistic control freak ASAP.

You misspelled "ex"-boyfriend.

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He has no right to debase your value. Not now, not ever. Get away from that narcissistic control freak ASAP.

You misspelled "ex"-boyfriend.

You don't even sleep together? Sounds like a doomed relationship.

It seems that there is a deeper frustration in place. Those things can ruin a relationship in the long run. It's easy to account it to the stress of the new baby, or to tiredness from hard work. But remember that you will need his help more than ever in the coming weeks. Talk to him, figure out what bothering him, understand how you can accommodate to each other's needs. And set boundaries to how you talk to each other even when upset. Getting personal on that level is not healthy or morally OK. Also, money is not all in life and there is no shame in getting outside help especially during times like that.

Communication, support, and boundary setting are ideal. However if this abuse keeps up, it's not her job to fix him. He needs to agree to therapy or he should GTFO.

"Independent" is code for "I'm gonna dump your ass whenever I want." You should have said you want to contribute to the family.

The freakout is an obvious red flag, but an equally concerning red flag is that he did it in response to your wish to be independent. Abusive boyfriends specifically try to limit your independence, so that you won't have the means or support that you would need in order to escape. That includes isolating you from family and friends, and making you depend on him financially. If you recognize this pattern of behavior, you need to get out now. It will get so much worse once there's a baby tying you to him.

Sounds like he's under a lot of stress. Also if you're snoring you probably aren't getting quality sleep, that's probably not great for the baby. These all sound like small solvable problems. For whatever reason internet people tend to always recommended breaking up as if there is some obvious perfect alternative. Unlikely, life is messy, figure it out.

Either way, relationship counseling is a must for your relationship to grow