FML - The Follow-Up

Hey all, OP here To everyone wondering: yes, it was disgusting. After freaking out for a little, I just tried my best not to puke and washed the cockroach guts off my back. I smashed the half-dead cockroach with a shampoo bottle just to put the poor thing out of its misery and threw out the loofah. Speaking of the loofah, it was one of those really hard thick sponges, which is probably why the cockroach's shell got crushed by it (I also thought cockroaches' shells were too tough to be crushed like that, but maybe the steam from the shower softened it?) Anyway, though it was really really gross, the one good thing that came out of this is that my FML actually got posted, which is pretty cool. Thanks guys :)

Hey everyone, I'm the OP, not sure if this will work as a follow-up since I wasn't logged in when I posted this, but I'm going to try and explain further anyway. First off, I want to say that this is wouldn't have happened IF my debit card worked, since my mum could just complete a bank transfer. For the people saying that this is a bluff - we are a very healthy family and only eat organic food, which gets spoiled quickly (I am also on a strict diet because of health issues and can only eat certain foods). I borrowed some money from classmates as school is still going, so I should survive the week. #4 My neighbors didn't though

Just so you know, it was a really long and also it spiraled

Hiya, I'm the OP. So this is a while ago already, but my mother knows how much I want a dog and then naively showed it to me. It's not like she was intentionally trying to be mean, she just wasn't really thinking. The reason I can't get a dog is because I'm 18, and only have 1 year of high school to go. I plan on moving to another country for my university, which would mean I'd have to take the dog through customs and everything, and then have him or her spend most of the time in a stuffy student room. It's far from ideal. Also they don't want to walk the dog, and we have three cats. I understand why we can't get a dog, but it still made me sad. As for my mom, she too loves dogs. She had two before she had me and my brothers, even. We get along well and I can confide in her a lot (mostly because I'm a loner(which is one of the reasons why I want the dog)). She's really not that bad, just forgetful sometimes. Hope this cleared it up!

Hi guys! This is my FML. Basically whenever someone new meets my boyfriend or sees my brother they always comment how much they look alike. Recently every time I see my boyfriend from afar I think he's my brother so it freaks me out just a little bit. Glad to hear it's not really uncommon!

Hi, this is OP! I'm not doing the whole partying and not giving a crap part because I've already done that when I was their age so now that I'm older I'm more focused on the important stuff like getting a degree. Still, I underdtand where they are coming from, I was also like them when I was 19. Also, I am working as a freelancer on the Internet 30+hr/week so I'm way too busy and tired to get wild! The reason I think the other students don't like me (there are exceptions, of course) is because I really found myself in the field I'm studying now and like to participate in class discussions with questions and my opinions. Also, since I'm older I'm not that intimidated with my professors so I have a more friendly (but still respectful) relationship with them and they like me for my curiosity and interest. Maybe the class think that I'm a smartass or something. But I am super grateful for your support especially now when I'm tired and frustrated with it all and I will keep going for my own well being :)

OP here. Thanks to the actual birthday wishes. Didn't do anything special, but thanks nonetheless.

Heyo. OP here! Yes, my parents always told me not to talk with food in my mouth... Haha. Though in this instance, since I always thank my bus driver, I figured I should just thank him despite the fact that I had a mouthful of candy. Didn't turn out the way I expected. Also, very true, #2. I probably should have savored it. Alas! The candy! Tis lost forever, a true tragedy indeed. ;-;

OP here with some details. I was not stomping down the holes when I fell. I was walking out to my car across the yard. I have poor vision and misjudged the lawn and turned my ankle. The moles were not harmed in my pushing down of their holes at any time. I push them down to prevent the grass from growing over sometimes 8inch high mounds in my lawn. Stomping the holes (not the moles) is for this reason! I didn't want to trip and here I am. Lmao. I mean karma is a bitch but damn. I'm like super animal activist to the point where I don't even have traps down for the suckers. To the knuckle dragger that said he hoped I broke it, you'll get yours just for spewing your ignorance. Of that I am certain. ;)

Okay guys, here's the story: my girlfriend and I were together for nearly two years, and one day she told me she was pregnant. I didn't know how to react at first, but I eventually came to terms with it and became excited for my son. Fast forward three months: my girlfriend is obviously pregnant now, and I was out drinking with my best friend. We took a great picture together in the bar to celebrate this great moment in my life, and then I asked him to send it me. That's when I saw the pictures of my girlfriend in a recent conversation. I confronted her, and found out that she had been sleeping with him, took the test, and it's his. I broke up with her and stopped talking to my ex friend.

Hey guys, OP here! I finally made an account because my FML got published! (Wow! I didn't actually expect it to!) While I agree with the comments that say I should have reviewed debate points from the other side, it was a pretty sudden thing for my teacher to do (I think she told me 5 minutes before the debate started) and not only did I not have very helpful notes, I was kind of shaken up by the change, which definitely didn't help me. The way we were doing the debate was one-on-one, with both people arguing their points at separate times. She only switched me, and that was because the side I originally chose had 2 more people than the other side, and she thought I was a strong enough debater (even though I really don't think I am) that I could easily adapt. In the end, everything was fine, I managed to write a few points down from my original notes, and I stumbled through them for the length of the debate. (Two minutes for each person, so it wasn't too long) My teacher apologized, but said I did well nonetheless. Thank you to everyone who commented!

Hello! OP, here. I appreciate the comments, especially the hilarious sarcasm and puns haha! :D So here's the full story: I just came out of the gym after P.E. (before the bell rang so everybody was still in class) and there was this kid like 30 ft away (going to the bathroom, I assume) and since my hair was really messy, I took out my brush, which is one of those full-size brushes that folds. So apparently this kid thought I had a pocket knife or a switchblade or something because of the way I unfolded the brush (image the same motion you would use to crack a whip or flick a wand or whatever - that's how I opened it because my hands were full). Also, I guess the kid thinks that I brush my hair with a yellow knife...? Anyway, he reported me. I got sent to the Dean and I explained what happened and showed him the "weapon." Luckily, he believed me and not that shit-for-brains kid, so I didn't actually get expelled.

yeah he was proud I suppose that's why I haven't told him the truth tbh

When she told me this it was at the end of the work day so I had no other choice but to give it to her at that moment because my shift was over. This job was in retail and this particular store ranks all their employees together from all of their stores across Southern Ontario. I only worked there for a couple of months and it was my first job, so my coworkers grew to take advantage of me or try to stop my sales (yes, they found a way), so that's why I quit. To those of you saying I should've gotten a letter of recommendation: my boss no longer works there and has been replaced by one of those said coworkers! Oh well.

Hi guys. I have some explaining to do. First off, she thought she had taken my computer as well. She was looking for it when she got home, trying to remember where she put it. Now, when she got home, I decided to put my pajamas on. As I went in my clothes drawer, I wondered if I would hide it there, then I decided I would hide it behind my bookshelf instead. This triggered a memory of me deciding not to hide it behind my bookshelf because it would be too perfect, thus too obvious. I then remembered where I hid it, walked over with such a feeling of idiocy, and found it. I completely deserved this

Hey guys, OP here! :) So, good news everyone! I'm not dead (yet). Though I almost died laughing at these comments, thanks for making my day! :D I do believe that there is a logical explanation for this odd occurrence. We do have a communal laundry room in my apartment, as many of you have suggested. The strange thing is, we live in a building that only has 8 apartments, and none of us have babies or young children. And I was not doing laundry that day at all, nor do I recall seeing the sock before we left, which was in a very noticeable spot on the floor. I saw it immediately upon our return. Soooooooo ghosts. It's definitely ghosts. *DUN DUN DUUUUUUN* The plot thickens.

Actually i am not. I say slaving because i have gas burners which everyone knows heats up the kitchen real quick.

This comment made me laugh incredibly hard. Thank you.

I am the OP and wish to thank everyone for their well wishes and kindness. Bit of an update: I have an infection in both kidneys so they can't yet remove the big 7mm stone that is stuck half way. Surgeons put in a stent and my pain filled hazy brain decided I just wanted to be with family so I stupidly boarded a plane to Hawaii! Now I am writhing about in a hotel bed (with a beautiful view of Waikiki and Diamond Head) and still ruining my family's holiday. I didn't realise how serious my condition was when I assured my husband that if he got on the plane I would follow a day later so it's all my fault. I've made a shitty situation even worse. FML

Op here, I do not work at a bank, I work at a bong shop the keeps the money we deposit in the bank in a safe, which only pays a little above minimum wage, they do have cameras but I don't know if the RCMP looked at the footage or not. The RCMP are taking it very seriously and whoever is responsible is going to be charged I just hope they are able to catch the person who really did it. I am certainly not going to replace money I did not take, but more so I would not want the record that goes with it. I don't know if they can charge me without evidence. I didn't know how to respond to some of the things the cop was saying which is what made me nervous (I have pretty bad anxiety). He said I stole the money because I am in a bit of hard times and Easter was coming up and there is no way to track cash, I told him I didn't even buy one piece of chocolate for Easter never mind $1000 worth and the only hard time I'm having is, having my pay withheld because of this situation, which wasn't a good enough answer for the cop. It's hard to prove my innocence because I was the one who found the money missing in the first place, $35 missing from the til and reported it to my manager who said it was probably just a mistake, and to check my coworkers deposit in the safe for the missing money, when I opened it there was only $4.15 when it was supposed to be $350 so I reported that and they came to the conclusion it must be my fault because, their words "I was the last person to see the money" but it was already gone when I got there. Then a week later I did my deposit for the day and put it into the box the next day my coworker said all that was left when she went to the bank was around $10 when it was supposed to be around $400, then my manger decided we take our own deposits home with us and deposit to the bank on our days off which fixed the money going missing problem, but then on Easter Sunday after I closed at around 6:15 and took home my deposit someone went into the store at night and used the alarm code that was just reset a few days before to stop the alarm from going off only me and the other girl know the code, I am pretty sure they didn't take any money that time just broke a bunch of pipes and bongs which is strange. My theory is maybe my coworker didn't know if I would take my deposit home and went to look for it. Guess I'll just have to wait and see!

Hey guys this is my FML! Anyway my neighbor downstairs has been trouble since I moved in. My 1 year old can't play with his toys and I can't so much as breathe without her acting passive aggressively toward me. I guess I should give her the benefit of the doubt because the unit above hers was empty for so long? But I met her at the mailbox the other day and told her as much as I tried to be quiet, I'm not dead. I will make a little noise since we live in an older complex. She hasn't really bothered me since then. Thanks for reading!

OP here. Apparently this requires more explanation than I thought. The stapler was jammed so I opened the top to see if the staples were stuck. When I went to close it, the top took a lot of force to close again. My hand slipped and it sent a staple into my finger. It was an accident. I wasn't "testing it out on my finger." At the time, I was in school. I was using the only stapler in the library and it's not like I could leave school in the middle of the day to "go buy a new one." Have a little more faith in me.

Hi guys, OP here! Just to clarify a little: I shaved with blades once, but that was a disaster. Blood everywhere and it toon way longer than shaving with an electric razor. Therefore, no blades! My old electric razor was actually almost 14 years old, so I could have expected this. However, it stopped working all of a sudden, without any signs of failing previously! However, stores for electronics tend to open at 10am here in The Netherlands, while I start working at 8:30. So no opportunity to buy a new one before work! It was the first thing I did when coming out of the office though :-) As for my co-workers: we don't have our own desks, but you can sit anywhere you like. I chose a private office for the day, so I just got laughed at by my boss and nog by anyone else :-)

the last house i lived in had a declared stinkbug infestation... i was horrified. the surrounding area was awful too. you couldn't go outside without getting hit by one flying by

Hey guys! OP here. To clear things up, the warrant is for CDV and when hes arrested a no contact order will be in place. It wasn't a fun night. Our marriage wasn't doing well already because of his control issues, we were trying to work it out. After another argument, I told him we can't work this out, and my feelings had changed towards him. We went to bed with intentions of making a plan to start our separation the next day. He woke me up in the middle of the night to continue fighting, I told him we could talk about it in the morning. I guess he didn't like that, so he took it out on my face and threw me around like a rag doll. He tried to stop me from calling the cops, but I was able too. He decided to leave while I was on the phone with the police, taking all my cash and cards with him. I'm not perfect but I was a good wife and a pretty decent person, I didn't deserve it, no one does. Most of our arguments ended because he would start yelling and scare me into silence, I didn't want to live like that anymore. Anyway, hoped that cleared up some of the questions. A divorce is started, I'm relocating and leaving everything. I just want a happy, normal life.

Hey idk how to work this but OP here. I should probably clarify, it was an accident - my dad was joking around rubbing one of my stuffed toys on my face to annoy me out of bed when the stud got caught on some of the stitching and got yanked out. Thankfully part of it was still in the piercing - it was just hanging there by the short part of the L-hook - so I didn't lose it, and my mom managed to get it back in, and it didn't hurt too bad. Just thought it was kinda funny :)

OP here. I wanted to add that this all happened at 3AM during a thunderstorm. The neighbors didn't answer their door until the firefighters knocked. The fire didn't start until they were already here, so there was no smoke at first. The storm blew loose shingles off in 1 place- over the alarm.

OP here So didn't expect this to make the front page but to clear up a few things I'm 19, my boyfriend also lives with his parents and I live away from home in a town about 2 hours away, but my usual hangout bar is in my hometown so on the weekends and holidays I come home and make use of the bed. So mostly I've moved out. We had gotten into a very loud row which turned into mum (for the umpteenth time) bringing up how I'm never home and what happened to the sweet little girl that told her everything. I've explained time and time again that I didn't have friends then and Now I'm balancing a social life in 2 places, and spending time with family, which I admit I haven't been spending as much time with her, because once I moved out I could see her from a distance and see how manipulative she is. I have also tried to see mum less and less because I thought that's just where my life was headed. Being the youngest child means it's difficult for mum to let go. However, I have been her punching bag for the past few years, always making passing comments about my weight (I am obese, as is she) and the clothes I wear. I came out as bisexual to her and she doesn't believe me because I have a boyfriend and told me to keep it from the rest of the family. So yeah, I'm trying to get out of the situation, but my boyfriends family are not doing well financially so I would rather not move in, as well as its a relatively new relationship (just under a year)

Thank you everyone for your help! My friend suggested I use Monkey Butt powder since her boyfriend uses it for his butt sweat xD so problem solved! I use it everyday :) Still use tissues or washcloth if I know I'll be getting freaky with the BF later so he doesn't taste the powder! (or just use a wipe to clean off lol)

Hi, op here. Just want to clarify: The toothbrush is one of those circular, rotating tips. The "spinbrush," I believe. Second, I eventually cleaned out the bristles and got rid of the taste... in the morning. I slept with that taste lingering and it was horrible. This is just meant to clarify some things due to the lack of character space to type.