By wasliedtoasakid - 13/04/2016 02:34 - United States - Turlock

Today, I almost got expelled for bringing a weapon to school. The "weapon"? A yellow travel-size hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 444
You deserved it 1 476

wasliedtoasakid tells us more.

Hello! OP, here. I appreciate the comments, especially the hilarious sarcasm and puns haha! :D So here's the full story: I just came out of the gym after P.E. (before the bell rang so everybody was still in class) and there was this kid like 30 ft away (going to the bathroom, I assume) and since my hair was really messy, I took out my brush, which is one of those full-size brushes that folds. So apparently this kid thought I had a pocket knife or a switchblade or something because of the way I unfolded the brush (image the same motion you would use to crack a whip or flick a wand or whatever - that's how I opened it because my hands were full). Also, I guess the kid thinks that I brush my hair with a yellow knife...? Anyway, he reported me. I got sent to the Dean and I explained what happened and showed him the "weapon." Luckily, he believed me and not that shit-for-brains kid, so I didn't actually get expelled.

Top comments

It's okay OP, I got detention once in 2nd grade for bringing a knife to school so that I could make a sandwich at lunch time

I would have loved to hear the kid's story to the Dean. "So, I saw someone take a switchblade out in the bathroom, open it up, and threaten their hair with it."


Try threatening them with your "weapon" and maybe they'll think twice about expelling you.

Oh yeah, I'm sure that would go over real well.

Expel me and I'll make sure you know the meaning of a bad hair day!!!

PopBlox 14

Schools take everything so serious

turdwrangler 18

I read this in the jokers voice

I didn't at first... but after reading your comment, I did.

It's okay OP, I got detention once in 2nd grade for bringing a knife to school so that I could make a sandwich at lunch time

They'll expel you for bringing in any type of knife to my school (except maybe a plastic knife.)

liquifiednate 21

#22 they will suspend you for a plastic knife though.. My brothers friend brought a plastic knife to use with his lunch at school and he got suspended.

ive never seen a plastic steak, fillet, carving etc knife... arent they all butter knifes? Catching shit over a travel sized plastic hairbrush is extreme. If they are using the thought process that "anything can be a weapon in the right hands" then every tool you use for school would be contraban. like pencils, graph kits, shoe laces etc. Id say appeal to their common sense but the fact that you were almost supended for carrying a brush says it all. good luck lol

xChaos 29

Lol I brought a plastic knife in for a "how to" presentation in 4th grade

Was it plastic? If it was plastic, that's dumb. But if it wasn't, then you're parents are in the wrong for letting you bring that to school. Why would you make your own hike at school? You're supposed to do that at home.

I once set fire to the classroom floor in forth grade when demonstrating how I learned to make a fire using flint, steel, and dryer lint. I got an 'A' on the assignment (I think it was native American studies). If I did that today I'd probably be expelled, labeled a terrorist, arrested, tried for terrorism, and be sent to Gitmo for the rest of my life.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

I had a teacher who took away a carrot peeler from me in 3rd grade that I was going to use to peel my baby carrots. I didn't even get to eat lunch because of the bitch. It's not like I could kill anyone with a carrot peeler.

Me and a few friends got suspended in middle school for using our hands as guns and pretending to shoot each other.

He brought a plastic knife and...did what? There's no way him responsibly making a sandwich with a 'plastic' knife and then tossing it in the trash resulted in a suspension...i feel like there is much more to this story.

gun control censorship and out of control PC correctness are full-time residents in all schools these days


Plot twist: OP is actually a spy and the hairbrush is a compact pistol hidden inside a hairbrush!!!

i always bring a brush on flights... international and domestic.

UserError94 18

Sounds like a school of little tiny terrorist to me! Everyone knows that terrorist brush their hair!

Only -8? How are we going to brush off a pun like that?

Y'all have no humour love the pun embrace the pun we're all just hair to have a good time

Ah, the criminal act of brushing a person to death. Don't see that often.

This guy I work with got brushed to death in the parking lot last week, all over a matter of $30 and a pair of Nike sneakers. So senseless. It was just awful.

katachristic 19

Oh, yeah, you're one bad ************, OP! Unmanageable hair cowers before you and your fearsome weapon!

and don't you forget what happens if someone sits on that brush. especially if it's yellow. an object of horror indeed.

Because kids bringing actual weapons to school is becoming more common in this day in age, and some schools probably have to deal with this sort of thing regularly. I agree that schools can get ridiculous handling this sort of thing most of the time, but these days, you never know who's not a threat and who actually is a threat.

Not an excuse for the BS policies that don't work. The kids who bring weapons don't care about breaking rules.

UserError94 18

Yeaaa but If someone came at me with a hair brush, I would stab them with my pencil... Then erase the evidence. Looks like pencils and erasers are the real weapons after all

FatherCmas 4

Kids are actually bringing fewer weapons to school, it's just more shit is being classified as weapons, such as finger pistols. It's all bull bureaucracy rules anymore.