By violentdreamer - 17/08/2020 18:15
FML - The Follow-Up
snappleb7 tells us more.
This is OP - I made an account just to clarify that I do not have REM behavior disorder, thanks.
By lukey101 - 27/07/2020 14:27
lukey101 tells us more.
Wow! Just to fill you in, it was the first time in 15+ years of professional employment that I have been late to anything, no less a meeting that I had arranged. It was a Skype meeting which needed no set-up, and my prep work had already been done. I always set aside a few minutes for people who join slightly late, so it wouldn't have been a problem if I didn't run causing me to be over temperature. Clearly you have missed the main point of my post; but thank you for the un-warranted personal attack and unsolicited advice nevertheless! I truly hope you don't speak to people like this in real life.
By apeshit94 - 23/07/2020 08:03
apeshit94 tells us more.
Hi! OP here. Just to clarify I’m not an alcoholic. Thanks for worrying there. Actually I just drank too much a few months after my mother in law, 14 year old dog and Aunt passed away. Just trying to take the edge off, I way overdid it. And my husband is grieving as well so I don’t blame him for jumping to conclusions, as I was outside for two hours chain smoking.
By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 08:31
cheyennejocelyn tells us more.
This is my post, and my parents have never supported me in anything in life. They weren’t happy about my engagement, I knew they weren’t gonna be happy about my pregnancy, so to save to the argument I did it over text. I have since miscarried.
By katydid91 - 01/07/2020 05:51
katydid91 tells us more.
OP here! I work in the healthcare field and am back at work. We have a no more than 3 coughing spells per hour rule in place, so a gassy day for me is a dangerous day.
By fishyrael - 16/05/2020 13:20
fishyrael tells us more.
Anyone worried, she is fine. I took her in the second I realized what she'd done. They tried to induce vomiting but she's a stubborn little thing and wasn't even affected by the procedure so they ended up having to put her under and get the hair ties out with a grabber. No surgery thankfully. She was very sleepy and wobbly after but after a nap she was back to her old hellion self. I know I could've waited to see if they would pass naturally but she's only 8 months old and hair ties can be deadly if they don't pass, and surgery would've been much more expensive and stressful for her at that point. The new hair ties are in a heavy wooden drawer that I'm certain she's not strong enough to open, unlike the light plywood desk drawer they were in before, that I am now aware she can, in fact, open.
By Taurus_ChicKa - 13/05/2020 23:00
Taurus_ChicKa tells us more.
Oh wow, this got posted! Awesome! Thank you so much, everyone. I am better now, and am so ready for this pandemic to end. My foot was black and blue for a few days, all the way to my toes, but fortunately no broken bones. I'm walking normal again and my bosses are insisting on paying the medical bills (even though it was my own clumsy fault). :)
By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 03:48
AdrianAmato tells us more.
They didn't tell me I can't have a relationship with her, just that we can't visit each other anymore (due to the tighter COVID restrictions) even though we live on the same base and people whose girlfriends live off-base can still visit their girlfriends.
By Kathleen Verswijvel - 16/03/2020 14:35
By wellonheels - 01/10/2019 15:54
wellonheels tells us more.
My first published FML! Yay! Sorry folks, no windows to open, and not enough air freshener at the time to use more on that one room. Sometimes, people just smell. Bad. And that was the case. I think the patient must have had meat juice on his clothes or something. Maybe he works for a butcher. I'll have to ask if he comes in again. In the meantime, I'm having the boss order more (industrial strength) air odor eliminator. I think I'll be needing it if he comes back... *sigh*
By Manic Mushroom - 27/09/2019 08:25
Manic Mushroom tells us more.
Oh damn, my first submission got published!! 😂 As for putting them in my mouth and then taking a drink, first of all I take a good half a dozen pills at night and would still have to tip back to get them in my mouth. Second, I have fibro so my meds are restricted and coated with a bitterant to deter people taking them accidently. The taste is enough to make me gag, so I have to take a drink first so they don't touch my tongue. It actually took a day or so for the pain in my face to stop and my voice to not be raspy anymore, but I'm good now. I'm used to hurting so it don't really bother me all that much, I was just shocked at the new level of clumsy I had ascended to!
By howard1954 - 21/09/2019 03:18
howard1954 tells us more.
His ex is also the mother of his child. She has been wanting to go off on him for various reasons, which I told her was a bad idea, trying to keep the cool amongst all of us. But, my boyfriend told her he wanted the iPhone he bought for her a few years ago back, and she decided to tell him that I have been telling her various things about our personal life. This was not true, and she only said it to make him mad because he wanted his phone back. she messaged me on Facebook Messenger saying "I'm sorry" before he blew up on me over text. we got it all figured out, everything is fine now, but I like her a lot less now for lying about things just to make her ex (my boyfriend) mad. She was only being petty.
By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 08:28
AlexF_1001 tells us more.
Hey my FML got published! First off, I'm a guy, so... that's weird. (They fixed it. Thank you!) Second, to those of you who took precious time out of your day to give me the brilliant idea to get another job... obviously. I've been applying like crazy for weeks already and hoping something will land. About the suggestion that I work overtime... what? No? Payroll cuts mean I can't even work my usual full 40 hours, much less overtime. As for the vacation, the friends I'm meeting up with for the weekend came through and helped me so that I can afford to go. They know it's been an unbelievably shitty year and I need all the positive experiences I can get. Catch my broke ass at Ramencon eating peanut butter sandwiches, but I'll be there.
By Ami Ditbacher - 11/09/2019 07:53
Ami Ditbacher tells us more.
Yay my FML story got published! Thanks for all the great suggestions and witty comments (: this guy stopped me on the street about 2 months ago and he seemed pretty okay but I wasn't really looking to date/get into bed with someone. I broke up with my ex last year and some ugly things happened afterwards which left me incredibly insecure, alone and vulnerable. I guess that's why I'm letting people walk all over me? Anyways I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt twice already and there is no doubt now that he's not a nice person. I was absolutely okay with paying for my own meal. His "I-forgot-my-wallet" bit was a shock to me since I've never encountered someone who would be so rude. Also I always tip in restaurants as I usually get a fair treatment (and I rarely eat out since it's expensive and I prefer to cook my own food). In this case the waitress went into complete asshole mode once she got her tip and totally ignored me. And obviously I didn't put out (: I actually told the guy that I'm just looking for friends but he still felt me up without my consent. All in all: not a nice experience.
By eh. - 27/08/2019 17:55
eh tells us more.
First of all I have bought enough products for my period. I’m on vacation on a boat with 3 men who don’t know squat about periods. We were supposed to pack light and my period doesn’t normally come 9 days early and I don’t carry a week’s worth of tampons every where I go. I did have one to last me for 10 hours but I can’t use that for 3 days
By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 09:05
ourlastnightlife tells us more.
This is my fml! So basically it was the very final vans warped tour, a 2 day event. I brought my tickets and at the door they said the ticket was already scanned. I called ticketmaster and they said they contacted the venue and said I could pick it up at will call. so I drive all the way back to the venue from my hotel and, no tickets. So I go customer service and pull up the order number, give them my billing address. The person "helping" me accused me of smoking something and trying to scam them even though I had all the proof of purchase. So on the second day of the event I go back and try again w my Sunday ticket. I was able to get in w that one. All the bands I wanted to see were playing on the second day anyway, so not much of a loss other than I paid for a two day ticket. also 800 miles from Seattle to Mountain View is nothing, last year I took a bus all the way from Seattle to Houston for warped tour. I still have no idea what got fucked up w the first ticket. But I still had a fun trip otherwise and I thought this was fml worthy so I posted it lol.
By BloodyButUnbowed - 23/06/2019 12:50
BloodyButUnbowed tells us more.
OP here. Sorry for being confusing. We don't have much room, so I had to condense pretty drastically. Basically, an aunt with a history of mean behavior introduced me to some random elderly relative I'd never met before, at my father's funeral. Without asking, the elderly stranger tried to hug me. I held out my hand to fend her off, which some people claim is all that's needed to escape from an unwanted hug. Instead, the rando began shrieking fake hurt -- "You DON'T want a HUG?" with an exaggerated stricken expression. Grieving and already overwhelmed, I allowed her to grab me. The nasty aunt who introduced us, and who has made a hobby of ridiculing me ever since my birth, then trotted to the center of the room. While literally pointing at me and guffawing, she started yelling ridicule -- the "BloodyButUnbowed had her hand out! She thought she was gonna shake hands!" stuff, while glancing around to see who would mock the deceased's daughter with her. She may have been audible in the next county. Nobody joined her, since most people have better manners than my family, but she tried for a while. I am very happy living on the other side of the continent from these people.
By Mightytall - 01/06/2019 10:27
Mightytall tells us more.
Yay! My first ever published fml! What did I do? I showed him how to hold the paper and told him he needs to wipe with new paper until it stays clean. And that if he does not, he will run around smelly and eventually risk getting an infection. The whole time he looked me straight in the eyes and listened intently, but the only thing that really stuck was apparently the part where I said that a really bad infection can cause him to lose parts of his popo in the worst case. So ya, FML
By Emmz91 - 28/05/2019 07:53
Emmz91 tells us more.
By Cat’s dildo - 29/11/2018 02:53
Alaina Heuerman tells us more.
Alright I didn’t really wanna follow up but I need to clarify. HE IS NEUTERED he has been since we got him. Also that was my blanket but it very recently became humping blanket 2. Let’s just say he really likes soft fluffy blankets. So all of mine... (yes that’s him in my profile pic btw)
By cacheson - 21/11/2018 01:04
cacheson tells us more.
Yes, and after working on my classroom management strategies for younger kids my teaching is going much better now.
By Sady_Ct - 17/11/2018 19:07 - Australia
Sady_Ct tells us more.
I do know what an audio book is. I thought I clicked on the ebook and only after I went to open it did I realise it wasn’t an Ebook but an audio book. They didn’t have the same title in the ebook. I got a refund after a couple of days.
By acmariner99 - 17/11/2018 18:35 - United States - Indianapolis
acmariner99 tells us more.
OP here. Yeah, 1k is what the insurance company told me. I knew it was a ripoff and found a local repair shop to fix the window for ... much less than that. I am not sure what the thieves saw in a bag of grubby shorts and a t-shirt, but that’s what they took. And why the f am listed as being in Indianapolis, I live nowhere near there. LOL.
By emeraldapostle - 10/11/2018 14:26
emeraldapostle tells us more.
Hey all, OP here. I'm fine, and Poison Control helped me out after saying, "uh oh." Now I keep my isopropyl somewhere besides my nightstand
By HowBoutNo - 08/11/2018 05:00
Roroma tells us more.
Hey OP here it’s my FML but it won’t let me log into my account so I’m using this old one. My hand was a little infected but it’s all healed now so now worries. The mole’s gone af though...
By nothingpersonalmate - 04/11/2018 05:10
stillnothingpersonalmate tells us more.
Hello all, I only mashed the keyboard for the password on my old account and have now made this. Anyway, I may have left something out here: this was not my sandwich and I'd crashed out and can't refridgerate it. As I was going to get my own food, my mom told me don't bother, I will get you a sandwich. How nice! I crashed instead. But I did not know that she wanted to leave the house so badly she just left it out at room temp without telling me. Even if I am at fault for not asking her to wake up, I still don't appreciate her thinking all this is funny.
By FudgeThePolice - 04/11/2018 03:48 - United Kingdom - Bradford
FudgeThePolice tells us more.
Yo, I’m the OP, I hope the mods of the site will be able to connect me to this story! Since people think I’m being ignorant etc, I decided to make this account to clear things up. First of all, I am fully aware that medically service dogs are allowed basically anywhere - I’ve got friends and family who have a variety of difficult needs and their dogs are a great help. The issue of this whole situation is this woman had ZERO indication that her dog was a service animal - as in there was no vest, lead, harness, bandana etc and she herself had no indication either, so I literally had no way to know. There’s a very limited amount of characters on these submissions and obviously I couldn’t put everything on there. I wasn’t rude either, word for word I said “I’m so sorry ma’am, I have to ask you to move to another table as this area doesn’t allow animals for the comfort of all our guests, may I get you a drink for your trouble?.” There’s three other giant areas of the restaurant she could have gone to with plenty of space. She just went absolutely crazy. My boss did offer me my job back with a pay rise, but I’d found a nicer place by then. He did apologise a lot and we’re still friends outside of work :)
By Nebraskawreck - 02/11/2018 20:01
By screwedover - 27/10/2018 14:09 - Australia
RAlyf tells us more.
OP here. I was on the lease. I was approved to go off the lease, as someone else was moving into the house. 3 bedroom house, 2 people on the lease, I move out, someone else moves in. The real estate agent changed his mind about me going off the lease because the new chick wasn’t going into my room - which he can’t actually do - and the lease doesn’t specify who is in which room. The real estate agent has been unprofessional towards me and never once helped me - but ex housemate is a narcissistic toxic liar, so who knows what lies she’s spread about me... Plot twist - the owner is moving back into the house, so my ex housemate and her new housemate now have to vacate and I’m footing half the cleaning bills etc because I’m sick of fighting and want to cut this chick out of my life!
By emeraldapostle - 27/10/2018 19:21
emeraldapostle tells us more.
Hey everyone, OP here. Just letting you kmow that I have since left the job and now OSHA and various health departments are having a hayday with the restaraunt. Thank you everyone for showing concern!