Today, my future mother-in-law sent a nasty email to my mother, an angry phone call to my fiancé, and threatened to boycott his graduation and the wedding. Why? I didn't respond immediately to her emails about card boxes for the wedding. Card boxes. FML
FML - The Follow-Up
crazycatlady1890 tells us more.
OP here... thanks for the comments! My fiancé did essentially tell her to shove it. She did apologize (after missing his masters graduation), and he still hasn’t quite forgiven her. As for what this means for the future... luckily, my fiancé is NOT a mamas boy in the least, and is happy seeing her once or twice a year. He, my mother, and I have a bet going on what sets her off next. Personally, my money is on the day she realizes we aren’t giving her grandkids.
Today, I woke up to find my fiancé in the pool with a topless woman he had told me "not to worry about". FML
MallowMistress tells us more.
Hey! OP here! I am kind of amazed this got posted! But it was a pool at our house, yes we are still engaged after much arguing, crying and confrontation. Nothing happened, but there was talk of them possibly being more until she realized she didnt want to ruin her own relationship over soemthing like that, because he had told her we were open so he can do whatever. (We had been at one time, but not in over a year.) So yeah hes in the doghouse and contact outside of work with her is now very limited and always monitored.
Today, a woman shouted at me to give up my disabled seat on the bus because she wanted to sit down. She wasn't physically disabled, wasn't nearly old enough to need it, and the bus was half empty anyway. I guess my prosthetic leg doesn't entitle me to a priority seat. FML
I can't stand leg puns! tells us more.
Hi all! OP here! So, to start off, thanks for all the support (and sorry for firing off last time!). To the one or two of you who think I should be able to stand, first: the disabled seating is there for a reason; second: when you're standing on the bus you use your toes to help you balance a bit, and if you can't move toes on one leg it's a bit difficult. Third: My leg's basically a metal pole with a foot on the end, it's not one of the fully realistic ones, and I was wearing shorts so it was kinda obvious. Next, to those saying she may have been disabled in her own way: Unless she was severely mentally disabled, she still didn't need to shout at me, and I know her locally, she's just a bit of a bitch. Also there was only like 2 other people on the bus, and about 6 free disabled seats, she just wanted MY seat. And yes I realise I post a lot of stuff, life sucks haha. It isn't as consistent as my posting makes it appear, some of these stories happened a while ago, but how many FMLs actually happened that day? I'll try and think of another for you guys next week hahaha. And to whoever said I need my own section on FML, I won't complain hahaha. Thanks for reading the rant, see ya!
Today, four kids strolled into my building, asked the receptionist where the bikes were kept, and walked out with four bikes twice their size, including mine which had a flat tire. The receptionist waved them goodbye. FML
dino-rex tells us more.
dino-rex 16
I did watch... the security footage afterwards. It was actually my residential building. It was Saturday, I was out of town, and when I got home, the management kindly informed us that the idiot receptionist did nothing but watch when the kids took the bikes. And when I say kids, I mean KIDS, they were no more than 12! They very obviously did not live there (residents all know where the bikes are because they are VERY visible), so my guess is that the receptionist (a guy, by the way) was actually in on the plan to steal the bikes. Sadly, there has been no action taken.
Today, I realized what I thought was bad lighting and poor TV brightness was actually night blindness. I found out while driving to work at my new night shift job. FML
swervelol tells us more.
swervelol 28
Wow this got published hi! I'm the OP and I'm here to clear up a few things! Yes I haven't driven at night due to working full time at my previous job at a store that closed at 7 pm every night (it stays light until very late in Montana) I also haven't been out late due to long shifts at work and recently moving to a new city which has heightened the severity of my night blindness because I am unfamiliar with the roads. I have corrective lenses for an astigmatism since I was 9 and was declared legally blind over a year ago by my optometrist who says my vision will deteriorate naturally as I age. I have noticed for a few months now that dark pictures, video games, and scenes in movies have been extremely hard to make out and all my electronics have been on full brightness. I am scheduling another eye appointment to see if any medication or a new prescription will help, I am only 19 years old and was looking forward to following my passion to become a graphic artist and it would be really devastating to lose my sight anymore so and so early on in my life. Sorry for the long post it is hard to explain everything with the character limit!
Today, at 2:30 in the morning, my brand new fish tank cracked and spilled ten gallons of water into my carpet. FML
fishyrael tells us more.
fishyrael 29
This is my FML and YES THE FISH ARE OKAY. Well, mostly. It drained too quickly for me to save the carpet, which has since been ripped up to let the subfloor dry, but not too quickly for me to get them out into cups. My betta was incredibly stressed and grumpy, and the catfish were in a panic and huddled together. The snail didn't seem to notice anything was going on at the time, but has since passed away, I think from stress. RIP Snailbert. I tried about 8 different treatments to dry the carpet and none of them really worked, so I'm gonna have to replace the carpet, I think. The ceiling of the floor below is also pretty ****** from the water damage. I have no idea why the tank failed, it was on a level surface, average price for an aquarium starter kit of that size, and was only about three or four months old, but I ran out and bought an emergency tank as soon as the fish store opened and made sure to get quality this time. Still, as a broke-ass college student, this was not an expense I expected to have.
Today, there was a swim competition at my college. During my race, my speedo started slipping. Not wanting to lose for the team, I kept going even after it came off. After my turn, I had to wait on the deck, totally naked, because coaches can’t help the swimmers. FML
sadCowboysfan tells us more.
OP here to answer some questions: yes I am in college and over 18, yes I stood on the deck totally naked (I’m not ashamed if people see my penis), yes there was MAJOR shrinkage and most importantly we won! My school newspaper asked me afterwards if I’d let them use the photos they took on their website (provided they blurred out my junk). It was pretty embarrassing but it wasn’t too bad cause we won
Today, I was entertaining my 12-year-old cousin in the yard when two of my cats chased down and killed a baby bunny right in front of us. FML
boopingsnoot tells us more.
So, the second half of the story: Cousin got the bunny away from the cats before it was completely dead, and when I couldn’t fix her “new pet” she wanted to sit and watch it die. And take it to another relative’s house and bury it in *their* yard. Took a while to convince her to leave it in a “safe place” (bushes where my cats like to hang out, so they could finish the job). Hey, saves me money on cat food.
Today, while I was out for a walk, a little boy asked if he could try on my prosthetic leg. Being as nice as possible, knowing that he probably didn't understand, I told him no. He screamed and his mum coldly told me I'm a terrible person and should have let him try it on. FML
Today, it has been eight years since I politely declined a date with a "nice guy." How have I kept track of it this long? He has been stalking and harassing me since then. FML
ourlastnightlife tells us more.
Hi, OP here! this is my submission lol... I've made police reports but you know how well that goes lmao. He messages me every few months w new profiles. I've moved cities 4 times, changed my number 3 times, changed my name(hi I'm a trans man), changed my email, everything. At the time he first asked me out when I was 15, I was happily in a long term relationship. At the time he threatened to kill my boyfriend and rape me. At one point we were best friends. And I tried to stay his friend after he asked me out. I told him from the very beginning that I was taken. He even had his mum calling me a **** and a ***** and threatening me. And to all y'all saying I should have given him a chance, y'all are on crack lol. He is persistent but his last few messages have been him just harassing me for being trans lol. And no I didn't come out as transgender to get him to back off, I came out as transgender because I am transgender. I'm 23 now and have sworn off relationships for good. This is all hilarious to me now, it's been a while since he actually tried to come at me physically, at this point he is just words on a screen. but I thought this would make a good fml story. And yes I did have to make a new profile to comment. Have a nice day y'all :3
Today, on a freelancer app I use to do short-term gigs to find long-term clients for my company, a rude, demanding client dumped me for a "more experienced, successful" company. They sent me a link, saying I could learn a thing or two. I own the company. FML
catwithwatermelononhead tells us more.
Today, I accidentally walked in on my son giving head to his husband. FML
G_15948832 tells us more.
Hi, I am the person who wrote this, and I wanted to cover something up. My son and his husband were visiting me and my wife to help out with cleaning the house, so they were staying over for a bit. I didn't think to knock on his door because I thought he was alone, since he earlier told me that his husband was out to get some supplies since we were running low. Obviously I didn't think he was back yet, so hence that situation occurred. My wife thought it was hilarious, though, and she got a great kick out of it. I panicked when I wrote this without much context, and it bothered me so yup I came back. Thats it everybody
Today, I was fired from my new job before my first paycheck for taking 2 days off. I took 2 days off because my father got drunk and totaled my car, leaving me with no transportation, a hospitalized dad, property damage, and no money to pay for it all. FML
gmanxx tells us more.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be nice and change my oil, but he accidentally emptied all my transmission fluid into the pan. When he poured it back into my car, we realized he never put the cap back on and all my transmission fluid was poured all over the ground. FML
Emma Eisnor tells us more.
Emma Eisnor 15
Yay my second FML posted! He was trying to do something nice. I wasn’t really that mad. He drove to the store and bought me more transmission fluid so we were fine. He’s a sweetheart, my oil never got changed though haha.
Drugs are bad, mkay?
Today, I realized my girlfriend was taking my pain meds from my shoulder surgery. She says it shouldn't hurt after 2 days. I don't have any left and can't get a refill for a week. She took them just for fun. FML
real life problems tells us more.
OP here, yes of course i broke up with her over it, which she still thinks I'm over reacting to. I ended up calling for more pain pills but they wouldn't approve me any more that fast. I ended up just dealing with the pain on my own while being bitched out for being selfish.
Today, I went into a public bathroom to wash my hands, only to be met with a woman fixing her hair, who promptly slapped me for sneaking into the ladies room. I was in the right bathroom, which she realized after seeing the urinals. FML
FFAce tells us more.
Spring is so great, right?
Today, after years of going through hell to get my tonsils removed as an adult, I found out that they were my first line of defense against allergies. I used to have a very light reaction. Now my doc is making personal calls to get me to an allergist immediately. FML
reyah49 tells us more.
reyah49 15
OP here.. my "years of hell" were years of having strep throat, tonsillitis, etc at least 4 times a year, usually more. You cant go to work with this more often than not so i was constantly missing school and then work. No one outright said "I'm not taking your tonsils out", they'd just treat the symptoms and move on. Finally i asked to be sent to an ENT and there was no doubt in his mind that they needed out. He said it should've been done when i was constantly being sent home from school (over 10 years ago). Since i got them out I've now found a new primary doctor who I'd recommend to everyone. He is the one who called his allergist buddy on their personal cell phones during my appointment and scheduled me in before the clinic even opened. Turns out I'm allergic to every kind of grass that grows here in "the natural state". Honestly explains a lot.
Today, instead of having until the end of June to find another apartment because my landlord is selling the place, I was told that the buyer paid cash and I now have 10 days to get out. I'm a flight attendant and will be out of town for 8 of those days. FML
I'veRunOuttaPatience tells us more.
There's no formal agreement. The owner is a pilot, and he set up this townhouse as a "crashpad" which is common for flight attendants to use because we 1) get paid very little and it's cheap 2) dont mind sharing space because we are literally gone 70% of the month and 3) pay month to month since most of us dont know how long we will be in our current bases. He told us he decided to close the crashpad and sell, but the contracts would need 60 days to go through, which would have been true if the buyer had not paid in cash.
Today, I got fired from my job as a florist. Why? Because my boss made me come in with a stomach virus, and I threw up on the flowers in front of customers. FML
Symphoniaes tells us more.
Symphoniaes 32
Unfortunately in my state they don’t even need a reason for termination. :/ It’s fine though, I was only there temporarily to help with Mother’s Day and I have other resources available to me! ^~^
Today, I learned that the guy I've been talking to online lives in the same apartment complex as me. I also learned that I've earned the title of "woman who has sex too loud" in the same apartment complex. FML
gamber9210 tells us more.
gamber9210 13
Honestly. I asked him if he lived right next door because I was very worried he’s actually heard me😂
Today, I tried to redeem a gift certificate my fiance and I had been given for a free romance package at a hotel. The hotel closed permanently four years ago. FML
avocadopurse tells us more.
OP here! A few things: the gift certificate was given to my mother, who gave it to me. It was not a gift-giving occasion she was trying to cop out of, she simply found it in a box one day and thought I'd get better use of it. The real fun was that a completely different hotel took over this one and continued to use the same phone number, so it took nearly 20 minutes with a very confused guest service rep to figure out what had happened! It turns out my mother had had the gift certificate for ELEVEN YEARS (she's military and that's how long it's been since she lived in our hometown). We all had a good laugh, and she offered to pay for a hotel, since we'd been planning on using it for a trip home.
Today, I woke up on an airplane in Rome. As I was sleeping, I had covered myself and the seat in period blood. FML
Emma Eisnor tells us more.
Emma Eisnor 15
Hey OP here! This actually happened when I went on a two week trip to Italy back in the beginning of March. The rest of the trip was actually great I toured the entire country! As for what happened, I was on my period with a pad on and it took me 6 hours of the 8 hour flight to fall asleep, but as soon as I did fall asleep all hell broke loose apparently. I didn’t tell the flight attendants because I was too embarrassed so I kind of just got up and awkwardly waddled away. Could have been worse though!
Today, the father of one of my music students asked me out to dinner via my work e-mail. I thought it was kind of sweet, albeit a little strange, until I got his daughter's instrument rental check, with both his and his wife's name printed on it. FML
Raemel tells us more.
OP here. While I definitely wouldn't have accepted, as it might make things weird for my student (who is only 11 btw for whoever thought I should ask her if her parents are together), he is definitely still married, as I asked him. According to him, they are separated, which I'm sure is not fun, but I live in a small town and I'm sure I would be fired were I to date a married person. I explained that to him and he suggested going on a date out of town to "protect" me and all the red flags went up. Next parent teacher conferences are probably going to be a little weird.
Today, while getting my teeth cleaned, the dentist’s boobs kept hitting me. Normally I wouldn’t care, but she’s a new mother. There was milk on my shoulder. FML
Abby Gut tells us more.
Abby Gut 25
Considering I’m a teenage girl, yes I am complaining
Today, my best friend, who I've had a crush on for over 2 years, and who I could describe as unattainable, asked me out on a date. It went great and ended with an amazing kiss. Then she texted that she thinks she actually likes girls. She's unattainable, alright. FML
RipperoniPizza tells us more.
OP here. I'm pretty surprised this got published, it's my one and only fml that I've ever made. It's actually a pretty long story, we've kinda both had a thing for each other and actually dated for a very brief time before (never kissed though hence the "amazing" first kiss between us) but she didn't think she was comfortable and decided that maybe we should just stay friends. I was perfectly ok with that, but then she asked me out on the date and I thought that maybe she was actually ready this time. Nope! However, things are definitely confusing as she has started flirting with me again so it's kind of seeming like she might be interested again. I still have feelings for her and I probably always will, but I'm not wanting to play games anymore. Also, as for her change in sexuality, whether it's permanent for a "phase" or whatever, I definitely won't ruin her reputation or anything, like I said, it's my best friend that I would do a lot for. Some of these comments are great too! Thanks
Today, I finally met my long-term partner's mother, which I'd been nervous about for some time. Whilst using her bathroom I managed to knock over a large, ornate mirror and it chopped her toilet in half. FML
CaptainShalliwaffle tells us more.
Op here: Nope, it didn't smash the toilet, it literally cut it right down the middle and got stuck there. It was just this huge, metal edged mirror balanced against the wall by the toilet and I nudged it over. Did pay for the repair but it took weeks as the plumber messed up the job. She had to use her neighbour's bathroom for over a fortnight.
Today, I found out my new husband is actually an illegal immigrant using me for citizenship, and is now forcing me to house his parents, 5 siblings, and 3 grandparents who are now able to pass through immigration. FML
Today, I got a new employee. She was putting photos on her desk and I noticed a familiar face. When I asked who he was to her, she said, “My husband.” I had been dating this guy for the past three months. FML
tr3yr tells us more.
While I must say I thought that was a good idea... I did just that. Her response, “She did not care as long as he does not bring anything home to her.” I also found out that she filed for a divorce though but she said it was to “just teach him a lesson because he did not tell her.” When I confronted him he just kept lying and saying how he wanted to be with me but couldn’t think of being without his wife. So I just left it alone and cut off communication. It was starting to just be weird and I felt they had major issues to figure out with each-other. Needless to say I had her transferred to a different location.
Not so sly...
Today, on an 11-hour flight, I had to throw up. I managed to calmly walk to the bathroom and be violently sick in the toilet. After cleaning up, I was proud nobody had noticed and left the stall. A hot flight attendant was already waiting for me with a glass of water. FML
rubberduck_of_doom tells us more.
OP here! OMG I saw this FML and that it was from Austria and then I thought hey I'm from Austria too. Then I read the FML and thought HEY THAT'S MINE!! AND IT WAS =D.. I'M so happy =D... Just a couple of things to clarify (since 200 characters aren't nearly enough XD ): This actually happened a couple of month ago. I was on a flight home from Lima. There was this super hot flight attendant on the plane and I was ogling him everytime he passed. During the first 2 hours of the flight I felt perfectly fine and had no troubles. Then the food came and it was delicious but a couple of minutes after they cleaned up the trays I started feeling extremely nauseous. Now I travel a lot and have been on plenty of flights so far and this never happened to me before. Anyways, once I realized that I was not going to be able to hold it back I calmly got up and walked to the bathroom since I didn't want to make a fuss. Once I got there I was violently sick into the toilet. I had stomach cramps like you wouldn't believe. It hurt so much and I had no idea what was going on... After I was done I cleaned everything up as best I could and washed up as to not arouse any suspicion. I didn't look too bad (I thought) and left the bathroom, proud of myslef that nobody noticed. However as soon as I opened the door the hot flight attendant was standing there in front of the door and gave me a glass of water. Then he looked at me pityingly and asked me if I wanted some coke. I just nodded embarrased and he gave it to me. XD... I was sick like 6 more times on that flight and had cramps all the way to Paris (where I changed planes). To this day I do not know what happened to me on that flight and it hasn't happend since and I sincerely hope it doesn't happen again because this was a horrible experience. Sorry for the giant post but I always want to know the backstory behind FML's so I thought you might too ;) Thanks for all the encouraging words btw ;)
Today, I apologized to my boyfriend because I'd been rather snappy with him the last few days due to stress. His response? "It's okay baby, I'm used to you being a bitch." FML
ashlyrose45 tells us more.
ashlyrose45 12
I replied to a comment before, but I figured I'd post an update; some of you were right about it being more than a couple days, but it turns out I have PTSD, which cause fits of rage. I'm medicated now and we just celebrated our second anniversary