By IrialNiall - 8/2/2021 07:42

On the down-low

Today, I tried to quit my job of almost 6 years so I can date the man of my dreams, one of my bosses. When I gave my 3 weeks notice so they can try to replace me, they refused to accept it. My potential boyfriend won't see me anymore until I quit and can't tell my other managers why I need to quit. FML
IrialNiall tells us more :
I have another job lined up, no problem, and am already hired in. It made more sense for me to be the one to leave since I'm hourly and he's salary. I love my job, but I hate it at the same time, so it's a bit of both. He never asked me to leave though, I offered to be the one to go somewhere else. He's never struck me as controlling or anything like that before, and still doesn't now. But neither of us wants to be fired. I don't think you're cynical at all, by the way, and actually appreciate you're honesty and POV
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By  rotflqtms_  |  19

What happens when the man of your dreams decides to dump you for not having a job? Is this a good job? How hard will it be to get a job of this quality or better once you quit? Honestly, if you don't know the guy that well relationship wise, are you sure it's worth losing your job over and all the potential references? What if he pulls that with the next pretty young thing he sees and she ends up being his new girlfriend. I may be cynical, but honestly personally I'd feel resentful of the guy if I had to quit my job for the relationship and didn't end up finding another job. I also hate the thought of having to rely completely on my partner and being in fear of him breaking up with me and being jobless, homeless and broke. If you're going to quit, have a job lined up first. Don't just quit and leave yourself vulnerable. It may not be that, but honestly, that's the easiest way for an abusive guy to gain control over you. Not saying your boss is that way, but don't put yourself in a position to be financially dependent on him for your survival. Make this a relationship you want but don't need. Just my 2 cents. I may be seen as cynical, but that's my coping strategy.

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  IrialNiall  |  12

I have another job lined up, no problem, and am already hired in. It made more sense for me to be the one to leave since I'm hourly and he's salary. I love my job, but I hate it at the same time, so it's a bit of both. He never asked me to leave though, I offered to be the one to go somewhere else. He's never struck me as controlling or anything like that before, and still doesn't now. But neither of us wants to be fired. I don't think you're cynical at all, by the way, and actually appreciate you're honesty and POV

By  OrySoma  |  10

stop going?? what are you a stripper because thats the only way I could see you having a job would be an issue for not having a relationship with you or are your bosses your pimps really need more info to go on

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  Chazzster  |  21

In many companies it’s against company policy for a manager and their subornation to date. It’s to prevent potential predator situations where a manager might state or imply that if their subordinate didn’t grant them sexual favors they would fire their subordinate or make their life miserable. In truth it’s to prevent sexual harassment lawsuits against the company if things go wrong.

In this situation another way out is if the subordinate transfers to another boss - Then they could date their former boss assuming company policy allowed that.

The bigger the company the more likely they are to have formal rules in place to prevent potential sexual harassment lawsuits.

By  Chazzster  |  21

In the USA the 13th Amendment to the Constitution abolished slavery. You cannot be forced to work if you quit. Quitting does not require the consent of management or even an explanation - Just a notice as to your last day.

On the other hand, It’s not a good idea to quit one job until you have another lined up.

If you should decide to stay, be warned that having once “threatened to quit” they will likely replace you when it is convenient for them.