By tipsyone - 28/11/2017 18:18 - Sweden - Malm?

TOO SOON

Today, at work, my crazy Christmas enthusiast colleague started decorating her office. I had to listen to Christmas songs for hours, but when I complained to others, they said I was just a mood-killer. I’m the only one whose office is close to hers. FML

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tipsyone tells us more :

OP here: this is not the first time she’s done this! I’ve talked about this two years ago and how I find it incredibly boring to listen to the same songs three months!! Of course the others don’t mind since they’re afraid of conflicts plus I’m the one with the office very close to hers!

Extreme late fees

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Basic Instinct

By hcditfi5foygy - 23/7/2018 19:04

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

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By cantstopfeelingit - 16/12/2019 05:00

Gross!

Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

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By hAHAha Halo - 2/8/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

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By Niles - 20/3/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

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By Wells Fargo Worker - 18/5/2018 19:00

Well shit.

Today, at work, we were told by Wells Fargo that we'll be training our foreign replacements from India. After we train them, we're gone. FML

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By sisterofthebride - 3/10/2014 20:22 - United States

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

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By LaLa - 20/9/2019 22:00

One nation, under rod

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

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By anonymous - 8/1/2016 06:49 - United States

Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML

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By thecatlady - 27/2/2013 07:12 - Australia - Kambalda

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

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By MoonStarShine3 - 9/6/2015 16:12 - United Kingdom - Chorley

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

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By beardedlady - 2/7/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

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By pinky - 6/1/2010 18:12 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

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By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

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By dilligaf - 27/9/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

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By farmingman - 14/4/2016 23:24 - United States

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

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By Chin... uh.... - 10/5/2016 22:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

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By abbielane - 25/6/2012 04:08 - United States - Rochester

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

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By bluesox4 - 6/2/2012 05:50 - United States

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

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By Fido - 6/6/2016 11:58 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

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By KayleeXLoVe21 - 3/11/2011 23:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/10/2014 03:15 - United States - San Diego

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

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By Bec99 - 15/2/2019 19:00 - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2015 21:23 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

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By luciaspiano - 5/2/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

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By Sleuth - 2/9/2018 13:00

Today, I found out why my professor accused me of not handing in an important essay before the due date. Apparently she spilled coffee all over it and didn't dare to tell me. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

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By Dummy - 10/11/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/8/2009 13:30 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

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By fuckyou - 21/5/2019 06:00

Today, my girlfriend took me to see my favorite band live. Afterwards, we were lucky enough to run into the lead guitarist, who promptly asked her if she'd like to go back to his hotel room. She accepted. FML

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By dont_shit_where_i_eat - 29/8/2017 23:15

Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML

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By Adam - 29/7/2019 20:00

Today, I had a job interview at a Holiday Inn. I got there ten minutes early and sat until 1:00 p.m., then told the person at the front desk I was there for my interview. She called the manager, who said that no interviews were scheduled today. I'd gone to the wrong Holiday Inn. FML

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By Cats...FML - 17/10/2011 11:46 - Australia

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

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By Alyssa - 27/4/2020 23:00 - United Kingdom

Fashion blogger

Today, I was scrolling through my Instagram timeline and saw a picture of my friend in a ridiculous wig. I left a comment telling her how stupid the wig looked, but how great it was to have a friend with a sense of humour. She replied, telling me it wasn't a wig, it was her new hairstyle. FML

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By shoeaddiikt - 7/10/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML

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By rangerluke - 25/2/2016 15:52 - United States

Today, I went to an indoor trampoline park. This would usually be fun, except that I got there, broke my ankle, and left in an ambulance, all before my friends even arrived. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/3/2014 23:03 - Canada - Sackville

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

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By Anonymous - 2/12/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

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By unsurprised - 28/2/2010 10:51 - United States

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

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By awwshit - 13/10/2009 14:13 - Canada

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

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By crap - 17/1/2014 16:24 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7559118 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:27

At least you can go home at the end of the day and have a silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright.

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7559133 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 15:15

Come on. There's only one rational and adult way to remedy the situation. Escalate. Maybe you find that premature Christmas carols gives you a sudden hankering for really loud rap music? Something to consider, no?

COMMENTS

By MidnaLink | 32

#7559111 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:10

Complain to her, then. At least ask if she can turn it down to a level that doesn't bug you.

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#7559392 - Thursday 2 November 2017 3:58

But if you do talk to her, you have to be as passive-aggressive and condescending as possible.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7559118 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:27

At least you can go home at the end of the day and have a silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright.

By exileonmainst | 16

#7559125 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:56

”What can I do? I’ve tried everything except talking to her and ask if she could lower the volume.”
”...”
”Why are you just staring at me? Help me!”

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7559133 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 15:15

Come on. There's only one rational and adult way to remedy the situation. Escalate. Maybe you find that premature Christmas carols gives you a sudden hankering for really loud rap music? Something to consider, no?

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7559177 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 15:53

That's when you start playing death metal music to drown out the Christmas stuff.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7559195 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 16:56

Anti-Christmas songs work wonders.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7559200 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 17:36

Battle back with your own Christmas music. Play “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer” on an endless loop, and management will be forced to tightly regulate the playing of Christmas music.

Reply

DanielleinDC | 32

#7559278 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 21:22

Or Twisted Christmas by the Bob Rivers group. They have parodies of all sorts of Christmas songs--like "The Twelve Pains of Christmas."

Reply

Glowworm56 | 25

#7559331 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 23:53

I like "The Night Santa Went Crazy" by Weird Al myself.

Reply

RichardPencil | 28

#7559408 - Thursday 2 November 2017 6:00

This brainstorming is great! Surely, we can give the OP a playlist that can get Christmas music restricted to a reasonable time frame.

Reply

lotusenta | 14

#7578704 - Sunday 24 December 2017 8:01

I recommend Santa is a Fat B**** and Red Christmas if you want to get the really bad stuff in it.

By Donut_Wizard | 23

#7559259 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 20:37

Just be glad that you don't work in retail.

Reply

Glowworm56 | 25

#7559334 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 23:55

I work on the weekends at a grocery store--you can bet what I get to hear when the holidays get closer... One time,"I Won't be Home For Christmas" by Blink 182 somehow got into the mix--it was awesome.

By DanielleinDC | 32

#7559280 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 21:23

Have you complained to your colleague? Maybe asked her to turn her music down? If you have, and she refused, well, fight fire with fire.

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7559317 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 23:16

Warm her spirit up.......with a flamethrower.