By tipsyone - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Malm?

TOO SOON

Today, at work, my crazy Christmas enthusiast colleague started decorating her office. I had to listen to Christmas songs for hours, but when I complained to others, they said I was just a mood-killer. I’m the only one whose office is close to hers. FML

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tipsyone tells us more :

OP here: this is not the first time she’s done this! I’ve talked about this two years ago and how I find it incredibly boring to listen to the same songs three months!! Of course the others don’t mind since they’re afraid of conflicts plus I’m the one with the office very close to hers!

Family values

Healthy relationship

OK, well, goodbye

By Economess - United States

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks' odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

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By JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

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By minder97 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

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By tenniemo - United States - Green Valley

Today, I’m pet-sitting for my parents while they’re on vacation. So far, one cat has projectile vomited all over the living room, and another has pooped in their bed. Twice. My parents were not concerned when I called, and said this is normal behavior. FML

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By ice_dancer_jake

Today, after spending the day at work avoiding all hard manual tasks that may harm me, I had a table dropped on my foot. I broke my toe, split my nail and had to get a tetanus shot. I was avoiding injury as I was supposed to be performing in a figure skating exhibition this evening. FML

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By jaydiv - Australia

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

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By foreveralone - United States

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

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By IamTheSalt

Today, I got my grades back. They were all 98's and 99's with also a 104 (extra-credit). I got refused from entering an honors club, because it's "impossible to get above a hundred in a math class". I even got investigated for cheating. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML

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By crunkdrunk - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

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By snowinggrey - United States

Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Brick

How Thoughtful

Today, I found out that my new serving job does in fact take the time out to write a check for $0.00. FML

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By beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

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By blondebarbie271 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

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By FuckfaceSteve - United Kingdom - Chester-le-street

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

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By InTheDoghouse23 - United States

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

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By Ohwhy - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

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By NatchezParadox

Tinder surprised

Today, I watched as my Tinder date arrived at the coffee shop and mistook another woman for me. He never realized she was the wrong girl, and they spent the entire date together before leaving. The only similarity between me and the other woman was our hair. FML

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By heymacie - United States - Lubbock

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

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By R_U_CEREAL - United States

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

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By stinkyhair - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

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By popeye - United States

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

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By blegh - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML

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By me - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out that the guy who asked me out only did so because he thought I "looked rich." He broke everything off once he found out I live in a one-bedroom apartment and drive a 14-year old Volvo. FML

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By blonde moment

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

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By Anonymous

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

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By creeper - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy I like. He's very private and hides all his photos and wall posts on Facebook. Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled "Creepers." FML

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By TSampson - United States

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

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By Loverscry - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

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By aabadaba - United States - La Mirada

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

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By gymbob - United States

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

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By I don't know, son - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

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By ronniewciv

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 29

#7559118 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:27

At least you can go home at the end of the day and have a silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright.

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7559133 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 15:15

Come on. There's only one rational and adult way to remedy the situation. Escalate. Maybe you find that premature Christmas carols gives you a sudden hankering for really loud rap music? Something to consider, no?

COMMENTS

By MidnaLink | 32

#7559111 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:10

Complain to her, then. At least ask if she can turn it down to a level that doesn't bug you.

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#7559392 - Thursday 2 November 2017 3:58

But if you do talk to her, you have to be as passive-aggressive and condescending as possible.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7559118 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:27

At least you can go home at the end of the day and have a silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright.

By exileonmainst | 16

#7559125 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 14:56

”What can I do? I’ve tried everything except talking to her and ask if she could lower the volume.”
”...”
”Why are you just staring at me? Help me!”

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7559133 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 15:15

Come on. There's only one rational and adult way to remedy the situation. Escalate. Maybe you find that premature Christmas carols gives you a sudden hankering for really loud rap music? Something to consider, no?

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7559177 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 15:53

That's when you start playing death metal music to drown out the Christmas stuff.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7559195 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 16:56

Anti-Christmas songs work wonders.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7559200 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 17:36

Battle back with your own Christmas music. Play “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer” on an endless loop, and management will be forced to tightly regulate the playing of Christmas music.

Reply

DanielleinDC | 32

#7559278 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 21:22

Or Twisted Christmas by the Bob Rivers group. They have parodies of all sorts of Christmas songs--like "The Twelve Pains of Christmas."

Reply

Glowworm56 | 25

#7559331 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 23:53

I like "The Night Santa Went Crazy" by Weird Al myself.

Reply

RichardPencil | 29

#7559408 - Thursday 2 November 2017 6:00

This brainstorming is great! Surely, we can give the OP a playlist that can get Christmas music restricted to a reasonable time frame.

Reply

lotusenta | 14

#7578704 - Sunday 24 December 2017 8:01

I recommend Santa is a Fat B**** and Red Christmas if you want to get the really bad stuff in it.

Reply

coius | 22

#7956584 - Monday 7 December 2020 19:04

Right before you take a two hour lunch and call in sick the rest of the day with the device playing music locked in the “on” position with no volume control.

Reply

Rodville | 28

#7956914 - Wednesday 9 December 2020 9:41

I like “Christmas at Ground Zero” personally. It’s unassuming and you really have to listen to hear the crazy in it. If you’re not paying attention you’ll thing it’s a normal Christmas song. I’ve slipped it at family gatherings for years without being noticed.

By Donut_Wizard | 23

#7559259 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 20:37

Just be glad that you don't work in retail.

Reply

Glowworm56 | 25

#7559334 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 23:55

I work on the weekends at a grocery store--you can bet what I get to hear when the holidays get closer... One time,"I Won't be Home For Christmas" by Blink 182 somehow got into the mix--it was awesome.

By DanielleinDC | 32

#7559280 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 21:23

Have you complained to your colleague? Maybe asked her to turn her music down? If you have, and she refused, well, fight fire with fire.

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7559317 - Wednesday 1 November 2017 23:16

Warm her spirit up.......with a flamethrower.