By anonomus - 01/06/2010 01:35 - United States
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His inexperience can be used to your advantage! Teach him what you want him to know. It's not like the movies, where he's going to know exactly what to do the first time! You are married. If you want to stay that way, you'll need to communicate with him, honestly, on a regular basis.
Those of you using that whole sexual chemistry BS to say they shouldn't have waited are idiots. If you truly love each other, and are willing to communicate and adjust to meet each others desires the chemistry will come naturally. Yeah if you wait til marriage you'll have to take some time to get the hang of it, but it's not like you wouldn't have had to do that same thing earlier during dating. Having said that though, this lady is an idiot because she thought it was going to be amazing the first time around. Most people aren't very good their first time because they don't entirely know what they're doing. Just like most things, it takes some practice to get it right, and if you can't understand that then it's really your husband that should be saying FML. You deserved it.
you all are Fucking idiots lol. I wish you morons knew how to read and not assume omg it's his first time! lol you men ate full of shit when u fucktards think you know wth you tards are doing in bed. and just bc he sucks in bed like all men do cause they do one motion in they mind and think it's the correct thing to do and it's a win for u and only you. lol can't face the facts that they guy just fucking sucks in the sack? and that He doesn't listen to what she is telling the dude with he'd body? lol man I can see common sense isn't so common. and FML website really showcases the idiocy lol
@207, sexual chemistry "coming naturally" is an oxymoron. sexual chemistry *intensifies*, if anything - it exists, or it doesn't exist. you can't "make it come naturally". for many, chemistry (and sex, actually) is no big deal, in which case waiting until marriage's great - then you can have it, or you can ignore it. for OP, it seems to be a big deal - after all, she took the time to log into fml to whinge about it to millions of random strangers instead of raising the issue with her husband, like any decent wife should. if you're going through the whole "waiting until marriage" thing, at least be considerate of the fact that it might be shit first time. OP clearly wasn't mature enough, and waiting until marriage does not make you more mature to have sex, or necessarily more in love with your partner. i find your argument flawed.
And what's wrong with having sex with one, and only one guy, (or girl), in your life? I'm a firm believer in not having sex before marriage, because sex is special; if you give it away to everyone you've dated for a while, what's the point of getting married? There's nothing special left for you to give to your husband (wife) that you haven't given to however many people you dated before him (her). I don't think the OP should complain; if it was her husband's first time, he will get better. Nobody's perfect on their first time of doing anything. When I first started playing in the orchestra, I sucked, but I got better over time with practice. Same thing applies to this situation.
84 you should seriosly consider removing those fishing lures from your face before they get infected or before you infect our children's minds with the idea that it's "cool" or "fashionable" to leave lures in your face. If my daughter asked me,(which she would), why you have lures in your face, I would tell her that you were once a beautiful mermaid untill one day a fisherman turned you into an ugly human.
Um, thanks. Fortunately for me, I don't care whether other people like them or not. I'm also aware that most "parents" don't like them. It's not a fashion statement, or whatever you called it. I, personally, like the way it looks, and if you don't, you'll have to get over it and realize one day, even your daughter will learn to think for herself. Who knows, though, she may not think they're attractive, either. It's nice to know that you think I'm ugly though, thanks for the compliment. :)
Wow. Really? trying to instill parentental wisdom.....over FML? Why don't u just shut the fuck up and let her live her own life. Facial piercings are very attractive in my opinion. Plus I gotta give it to u, lying to ur child instead of being honest is so the right way to go. Truth is overratted. (sarcasm btw)
I'm a mommy and I have no problem teaching my daughter about people's differences in dress and appearance. I have no problem with tattooes or piercings--I've even had a bunch of piercings myself over the years, though not anymore. tattooes and piercings can be an important part of other cultures. I refuse to raise a close-minded member of society who views these things as wrong.
too right....parents that force their beliefs on their children shouldn't be parents. i was allowed alcohol while growing up (although, not enough to get hammered) and the way i view alcohol is casual; i dont think 'oh yeah, i can drink now, gotta drink loads' but i can handle when i drink
To #96: I bet you're daughter will appreciate being told all that insane, hateful, bullshit later in life. Good job on turning her into another close minded idiot. Next time you are considering posting unsolicited insults, thinly masquerading as patronizing advice, kindly don't bother.
Good God. it pisses me off when people think they suddenly know everything once they become parents. Congratz! U did something that everyone was biologically enginered for! That makes u automatically entitled to force ur opinions on everyone else because ur opinion is obviously the correct one!
and to all you idiots. you all need to read. sex for the first time bc they waited with each other. which means they had sex before but with different peeps.
The fact that they waited until marriage suggests that at least one of them was a virgin. Think about it, if both of them have had sex before then why would they have agreed to wait until marriage, seeing as generally the whole waiting thing is to do with saving your first time for one person?
Well in this day and age most people who wait are also doing it for religious reasons (not all, I've talked to atheists who said they were waiting, but more often than not it's religious) so even if they did both have sex before they could have decided they wanted to do it right with their current relationship. But yes, I would say it's more likely at least one of them was a virgin, but who knows.
um bc they prolly felt hey this individual is different from the others. so they decided to be respectful of one another and wait. to make their relationship more mature and show they can be dedicated and loyal even before they had walked down the isle. also to the fact at hand most guys think they awesome in bed jusf for the fact that they got a chick naked and had sex with them. then women usually fakes the orgasms in order to make their partner feel good. so dude prolly never got good at it through past experinces. if is a common miscommunication. due to the context which this particular FML, you can assume they both had sex before. "it was my HUSBAND AND I FIRST TIME having sex..." (together obviously) but was not like this is my first time having sex and with my husband. it didn't feel as good as if looks.
Girl knows what good sex is. so she is comparing in her head past experiences. she not virgin...guy not a virgin either. assuming the guy is a virgin just cause he sucks is not very good grounds to do so. he just fucking sucks in the sack. 90% if men who are active think they are they bomb. the other 10% are pornstars and men who realize they need to listen to the body language of a woman and go from there. Not to be in it to plug it.
Good sexual chemisty is a VERY good thing to have to keep a relationship fresh and exciting. Not having sex until you are married is outdated nonsense. Hopefully he gets better with practice or your marrage will be a short lived one. YDI.
I have to respectfully disagree with your point on premarital sex. I don't care if other people do it, but I for one would prefer to have reasonable assurance that the man who takes my virginity is a man who actually loves me. Knowing how abysmal my luck is, I'd probably be that one in a million whose contraceptives all failed if I had premarital sex. I know the lfe of a single mom is hard, so I'm making a conscious effort to avoid reproduction.
I both agree and disagree. I believe that people should have sex when they're ready. And when someone is ready can be a vastly broad spectrum ranging from marriage to having met a few hours ago. At the same time, however, people who are going to wait should at least do some research on the topic so when they and that special someone have a go at it they know they have more options than 'insert tab a in slot b'.
I agree with # 31 but I also know that most people fit into two categories. 1) People who are promiscuous before they get married/ aka: anyone who has had premarital sex. 2) People who wait till marriage/aka: virgins. Ironically, most people who enter a marriage as virgins are the one's who end up cheating on their spouse. Why? There's a lot of factors but one of them is curiosity to be with someone different/new. So tell me now? Is it better to wait to have sex until marriage or to have sex whenever as an adult? There's no wrong or right answer. It's a personal choice.
kt and those she's agreeing with: I have to disagree this time. There are lots of factors aside from sex that determine the health of a relationship. Sharing religious views and respecting yourself and your partner are two examples. Also, sexual chemistry isn't only determined by coitus. I've got nothing againt people who aren't premaritally abstinant, but calling something stupid because you don't share their lifestyle isn't fair. I doubt you'd call homosexuality stupid (and yes, I understand orientation isn't always a choice, but still.) As I've said in these discussions before: Premarital sex doesn't make you a whore; abstinance doesn't make you a bore.
not necessarily. If you marry someone, its, or at least should be, because you and your partner's love is so strong that such things occur naturally. If the chemistry isnt good, then there is reasonable doubt that marriage was a good idea in the first place. After all, sex is a part of love, so without real love, sex isnt good. Otherwise, it wouldnt matter to the couple how it occurs so long as each is satisfied