Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
mpclaw 3
and what makes you such a wonder in bed?
aardvarkish 17
You'll get over it.
rety1 13
well atleast you have the rest of your lives to get it right. :)
sadsadsadsaddepr 2
wait, how do you know he is terrible? who are you comparing him to? you aren't cheating on him, are you?
franciscovegas 3
never judge a book by it's cover!
dugumit 0
today I had sex with my wife for the first time. it obviously wasn't her first time she said I was horrible dirty ******* ****.
JessiKitty_lol 7
it's called practice. You've got a lifetime to learn from and teach each other
meganm922_fml 0
ydi for coming to fml instead of communicating with your husband. if you are unable to be open and honest with him, you shouldnt have gotten married. i guess your good news is youll be divorced before you know it if this is how you handle problems. it doesnt matter when anyone has sex, its about being able to communicate with someone if things arent meeting your expectations.
margxoxo 0
I agree with #131. quite funny too. :)
splinterette 0
You have the rest of your lives to learn the sexual chemistry thing, and you'll both get better. You have a great place to trust each other and be honest with each other about how things are going - because you're married, you know he won't be comparing you to later girls (and hopefully, you've talked about him NOT telling his friends about your physical relationship). Congratulations on waiting until you married him, and give it some time!