Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
lucious_mama 0
teach him what he needs to know. the first time with someone new isn't always great, there's alot of pressure on someone if it's the first time AND supposed to be the only one for the rest of your lives...(it's no difference if it's the first time ever or just with you) put on your edible big girl panties and show him how to work it!
temperance123 0
ydi for not testing out the goods before u signed the contract. hey! maybe u can get it annulled!
Spierdalaj 7
Shouldn't you be happy you just got married? Get over it.
iLuvsIt 10
have fun and teach each other. unless you say nothing it will get better…
punkking 0
jokes on you :D
mrzero 0
I bet that wasn't your first time??? don't be a crying ass bitch
FrenchToast94 0
wow... what do you expect... he probably was still a virgin you weren't and you had higher standards... practice makes perfect!
fwongraven 10
I'm no expert but would assume that, whether you're losing your virginity or having sex with your partner for the first time, it takes a few times to get into your stride and start finding out what you both like. OP sounds like they're jumping the gun and being a bit of a bitch :-/ Oh yeah, and the solution is probably to talk openly about what you want rather than to destroy your newlywed's manhood on FML.
dynky 3
he'll get better. experiment and communicate.
canzo378 0
so I guess you were terrible as well...