Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have... - FML

By twnty1 - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30095

You deserved it

4042

Tweet

Share

There's no helping some people

Rock, hard place

Vibe check

By notagoodtime - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27779

You deserved it

5071

Tweet

Share

By Apcn - France - Concarneau

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46859

You deserved it

5832

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37945

You deserved it

3462

Tweet

Share

By katie876 - United States

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31055

You deserved it

3392

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I went to have my tires replaced. While I was paying, the cashier asked if I would like a warranty for the tires. I said, "Nah, only idiots who can't drive need that." While pulling out of the parking lot, I took the turn too wide and popped my tire on the median. FML

I agree, your life sucks

510

You deserved it

3018

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I came out as transgender to my extremely accepting and religious family over Facebook. My feed is currently flooded with plans for my exorcism. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4515

You deserved it

1469

Tweet

Share

By vela9002 - United States

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

I agree, your life sucks

70325

You deserved it

13483

Tweet

Share

By cheeseburglar_9000 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36667

You deserved it

2844

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 20:01 - United States - San Mateo

Compassionate dad, huh?

Today, I was having an emotional breakdown. I'm unhappy a lot and don't know why. It's very confusing. My dad yelled at me, telling me, "You have no right to be sad!" I'm even more confused now. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1080

You deserved it

140

Tweet

Share

By googly191 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34561

You deserved it

2462

Tweet

Share

By Thai rice mistake - United States - Oakland

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30712

You deserved it

18921

Tweet

Share

By idrathernotgiveoutmyname - Canada

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29790

You deserved it

8823

Tweet

Share

By TCRII

Today, my estranged wife, who I am divorcing, asked me to find homes for our animals. I have a dog, which I am keeping. She has 3 dogs, 4 cats, 1 pig, 3 goats, 2 horses and 54 chickens. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3380

You deserved it

369

Tweet

Share

By ihatecats - United States

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24095

You deserved it

16559

Tweet

Share

By ihpgolj - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11836

You deserved it

43849

Tweet

Share

By Brad - United States - Harrisburg

Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23902

You deserved it

25521

Tweet

Share

By Lost5dollars - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to a bunch of missed calls from a number I didn't know. I had called an Uber in my sleep. They charged a cancellation fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4046

You deserved it

1058

Tweet

Share

By FANZZY - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35170

You deserved it

16205

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/6/2020 05:02

#1 Dad of the day

Today, according to my husband, our son is at the difficult age where he can finally speak fluent English, but is still too childishly dumb to say anything interesting, intelligent or frankly worth listening to at all. There are times I wish I was a divorced single mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1152

You deserved it

386

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Hialeah

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40067

You deserved it

3890

Tweet

Share

By sleepingbeauty - United States - Jackson

Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML

I agree, your life sucks

20119

You deserved it

3736

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/5/2020 08:00

Evil will always win

Today, I tried to suspend a junior accountant for turning up to work late and stoned 3 separate times. Turns out his uncle is a part owner of the business, so the accountant got to smile his smug little grin as I got yelled at for not minding my own business. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1945

You deserved it

171

Tweet

Share

By Anthony - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43827

You deserved it

3851

Tweet

Share

By nice one - United States - Athens

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46692

You deserved it

2735

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11012

You deserved it

32255

Tweet

Share

By omgdesdes - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39530

You deserved it

5944

Tweet

Share

By shmoooopie - United States - Medina

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34382

You deserved it

3831

Tweet

Share

By student101 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38581

You deserved it

6498

Tweet

Share

By summerbabe77 - United States - Medford

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22880

You deserved it

2934

Tweet

Share

By dammitall - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42235

You deserved it

4838

Tweet

Share

By BoobiePain - Canada - Saint John

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39710

You deserved it

2992

Tweet

Share

By Miserable person

Choosing Beggars

Today, after spending 5+ hours of my life painting a portrait of someone's cat for them, I finally finished it, perfect condition, no mistakes. I was supposed to be paid 300 bucks for it. Got 50 bucks because it was too "vibrant." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1647

You deserved it

204

Tweet

Share

By no - United Kingdom - London

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39745

You deserved it

5443

Tweet

Share

By John - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8349

You deserved it

57782

Tweet

Share

By upsetandannoyed - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33880

You deserved it

3651

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42127

You deserved it

8553

Tweet

Share

By pained - United States

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received does not actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing balance and slamming my injured toe into objects and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46260

You deserved it

4701

Tweet

Share

By Sean - United States

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30029

You deserved it

8017

Tweet

Share

By asdfghjkl - United States

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35213

You deserved it

3885

Tweet

Share

By Raw

Today, I shoveled snow at work. I had to because my co-workers refused to "get sick." I told my co-workers if anyone needs me, just tell them I'm shoveling snow. Our boss asked for me and they said that I left without punching. This also happened when I went out to water the flowers in the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3091

You deserved it

337

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Marakara | 0

#1014154 - Monday 31 May 2010 20:58

A band-aid making your condition worse? That is a textbook example of situational irony. Quit being douchebags, especially when you're wrong.

By yarbles | 3

#1014057 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:41

put some alcohol on that bitch and move on

COMMENTS

By dax002 | 0

#1014050 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:37

oh poor you.

By MrSassypants | 32

#1014051 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:38

oh that suks

By xthetisx | 0

#1014052 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:39

thats dumb just put something to cover it not necessarily a band-aid

Reply

teresa_009 | 0

#1014397 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 1:28

it was a tiny scratch though, you don't really need anything to cover it.

By ChaPStikkWhoRe | 0

#1014053 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:39

I think you'll live stop your crying...

Reply

teresa_009 | 0

#1014400 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 1:30

agreed.

Reply

funnyman227 | 0

#4271143 - Saturday 7 April 2012 9:59

No one ever said she was crying.

By cburger | 0

#1014055 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:39

owned

Reply

PsychoShark | 0

#1014321 - Monday 31 May 2010 23:56

Ummm, dude... Your bee is looking at me....

Reply

lovehurtz7 | 0

#1014674 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 7:13

wait, r u really twenty1.? nd this is ur first time using a band-aid.?

Reply

puggfuggly | 0

#1014704 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 7:54

I think it's a wasp

Reply

PsychoShark | 0

#1014850 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 10:04

No, it's a bee. I know them, damn whores...

By yarbles | 3

#1014057 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:41

put some alcohol on that bitch and move on

By BlueTwist89 | 0

#1014058 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:41

Lol, not ironic and not a FML.

By TOADified | 0

#1014062 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:43

same thing happened to me a few days ago! its going away. smells bad

By xGet_Over_It | 0

#1014063 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:43

Oops, thats's not ironic. Try again.

Reply

Boooosh | 0

#1014151 - Monday 31 May 2010 20:55

Thank you, glad to see I'm not the only one that knows the definition of irony.

Reply

amandalovee | 0

#1014312 - Monday 31 May 2010 23:50

i think some people need to go back to middle school. agreed.

By JonathanRawr | 0

#1014065 - Monday 31 May 2010 19:46

'tis ironic: something which was supposed to help the affected area has in fact made it worse.

Reply

reiyu | 0

#1014205 - Monday 31 May 2010 21:53

thank you for being the logical voice here.

Reply

puggfuggly | 0

#1014706 - Tuesday 1 June 2010 7:56

yes all the people saying that this situation is not ironic at all need to go pick up a dictionary and read an example of irony... *cough* *cough* #25