Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
pebbles92 0
if it was your first time how would you even know what good sex is??
blankettt 0
OP never said they were virgins before, she said this was their first time TOGETHER.
spyrogyro 2
what the he'll do you know it's your first time as well!
blankettt 0
I ******* give up on helping the idiots who can't read .. too damn many of them.
close_2_the_edge 0
"What the he will"? Fail.
CrypticHatchet 0
iPhones and itouches have autocorrect that turn hell into he'll and most people don't notice until they post
AziraLevana 2
192: That's why I turned my auto-correct off. That kind of thing drives me NUTS.
MzMegs 20
The first time isn't supposed to be a wonderful, blissful ride through ****** Land. It just takes practice, like everything else.
dbs_fml 0
isnt it the other way around? Dont you stop having sex once you get married?
Staciii 0
give the poor guy a break it was his 1st time! besides how would u kno how great sex feels like if u supposibly pledged to wait til marriage???:/
incredibadder 0
prolly not his first time.............it was Their first time together.... something every reader is not understanding bc everyone does not have the cognitve ability to process such common sense.
tencentsakiss 19
yea 21 it's frustrating me too
gothrockerkid 0
Oh gosh give him a chance. He may be saying the same thing about you so hush it woman!
Erindub 0
Ha, ha! Thats what you get for waiting. I bet you're not the greatest in bed yourself there sweet ****
incredibadder 0
lol for her prolyy all she had to do was just lay there. cause Men know oh so much about women... when reality show, y'all don't know Jack.
mysfit 0
(20) what's with all these immature @$$holes with no standards?! geez. there is nothing wrong with having a little respect for yourself and holding out until you find someone worth giving your all to. you **** *****, not get into relationships with them. nobody wants a worn out, stretched pussy- i would think. that's gross! leave OP alone about that.
AristocratAdler 8
My, how mature of you. Just because a woman - or anyone else for that matter - has sex does not mean she doesn't respect herself, or that she's a ****. Also, unless a woman has given birth, her pussy does not 'get stretched out'. Kindly join the rest of us in the 21st century and make an attempt at reasonabe thinking rather than simply tossing the insults of yesteryear.
Etherpirate 2
27, thems are boobs and I agree with 63. Boobs.
mysfit 0
and because someone respects themselves and decides to have morals is not a reason to be made fun of or for people to talk shit. yes, it is the 21st century, so, unfortunately, it is rare that people to keep their standards; but there are some that still do. we know where you stand, though, thanks. i don't think this needs to be continued.
ktbird 0
"Morals" are just ideas made up by society. They don't fit everyone and are constantly changing. I do what I believe is right, not what everyone else shoves down my throat as right. I find it insulting that you're insinuating everyone that has sex before marriage lacks respect for themselves or any sort of ideals. I have a lot of respect for myself actually and have been with the same guy for almost 6 years now. One of the reasons we are able to stay happy together is we figured out early on in our relationship we had a lot of sexual chemistry, but not until after we were close friends for a number of years. My point is you're being just as unfairly judgemental as the people you're arguing with.
AristocratAdler 8
91 - I am of the opinion that a person should wait until they are READY to have sex - a fact I stated in an earlier comment. If someone thinks it would be best for them to wait till they are married, so be it. If they wish to dance the horizontal tango hours after meeting, then let them. I agree that throwing insults at the OP for waiting is less than productive, but that is a two-way street, a fact you have managed to ignore in your tirade against '*****'.
nadica1790 0
op is ****** up what u know about what's good or bad it's his 1st time ur probably was pushin him out cuz u can't handle it hahah
slowlybreakingme 14
how do you know he's really terrible at it if you have nothing to compare it to? maybe your sex drive just sucks.
MissCharlotte_fml 26
MAYBE YOU CANT READ
FYLDeep 26
No, that's how it's supposed to be. Your life would be ****** if he knew everything to do in order to please you. Then you would know he was Tiger Woodsing it up.
RedPillSucks 33
The new sex verbs... *What happened to your husband? *Oh, I dropped his ass cause he was too Tiger Woodie" FYLDeep, how does it conjugate?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
RPS: Often, and with vast quantities of Ambien. HURHURHUR.
tencentsakiss 19
haha 223