Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (416)
dramaababyy 0
so this a fabulous opportunity to teach him what you like and dont like. if he doesn't seem to improve after that...well then it classifies as an fml.
the_boob 0
how would you even know what good sex is?
dramaababyy 0
she didn't say shed never had sex. she said they waited. meaning they hadn't done it with each other.
perdix 31
Give him a chance to improve. If he fails to do so, you can always start cheating. There are plenty of guys out there that will give it to you long, hard and hot, especially if some other dude is actually supporting your ass.
AristocratAdler 8
Practice practice practice!
mjolene 0
ppl really still wait till marriage to have sex??
toobigtoofail 0
Ydi for waiting till marriage
bidiblee 0
well practice makes perfect! ;)
Mortanious 0
So you come on fml and tell the whole world. You're not only stupid but an asshole as well. So you guys never had sex during the dating phase, and didn't have sex during the engagement phase. Unless he was cheating don't expect him to last more than a couple minutes. Even Ron Jeremy or Peter North with no sex for a few months wouldn't last long when they **** again. Also why do you people always stop after one round? Women come faster the more they ****** and men come slower. Round one was too fast, take a 10 minute break and go for round two and so on. Round 3 you will be begging him to come. For now go **** yourself.
RedPillSucks 33
Sorry, I had to LOL at the 2nd to last sentence.... I could picture her laying there thinking "Oh God, will this never end?!!!"
Mortanious 0
Hahahaha indeed
kannibal13 0
**** his life because he's married to you.
dramaababyy 0
oh my geez is your necklace scissors!?!
saosky182 0
Waiting until you're married to have sex makes no sense to me. If he's so terrible, maybe you should make him watch a few pornos so he can see how it's done
brianna1494 27
What are you? 12? You do realize that **** is incredible inaccurate right?