By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States
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OK, I know views on abstinence before marriage varies, but to my mind, YDI huge. If neither of you were virgins, and you were planning on getting married, the idea that you wouldn't have sex just strikes me as bizarre, with this being one of the main reasons. It's going to be a long fifty years.
Man I'm loving this double standard in here. Anytime the woman complains about bad sex people are like " you poor thing" or "get a new man." If the man doesn't like it "he's an asshole" of "it must be him." In conclusion: get over yourselves you stuck up bitches....
seriously 121, women can't be bad at sex? and jockeys just just lie on their backs and horses just happen to race on their own? it takes two to tango, either the guy bombed or the girl sucked, and or a combination of both. with that said, when you're married, you (your husband) will have chances to improve.
The sole purpose of a car is to be driven, true. One must have either have a key or a manual push start in order to operate a car (yes hotwiring is an option put it seems impractical for this euphemism) and we can infer that op doesn't to a lot of push starting. Why wouldn't you test drive a car before purchasing it? You imply that one should just jump into a car despite the fact that there could be some unforeseen issues with said car.
There is more to a relationship than sex, obviously, but sex is an important factor. Sexual incompatibility (of any form, whether it be having no sexual chemistry, being into entirely different things, disagreements about the importance of sex in the relationship, disagreements about frequency, or any other form whatsoever) can and will lead to relationship problems, so it's a good idea to find out about and have a chance to work on these issues before a strong commitment like marriage. If you insist on sticking to the tortured car analogy, consider this: The primary function of the car is to get you from point A to point B, but if the seats aren't comfortable, you won't be happy with that car for very long no matter how well it actually drives.
Ouch! But you weren't a virgin so you should've known how to ahem please him
Why? Everyone has different tastes, even sexual ones. It's not because you can please boyfriend 1 perfectly, that boyfriend 2 will react the same. That's one reason why I am really fond of having sex before marriage. There has to be some magical chemistry in the bedroom. Ofcourse, there is always hope for OP. You can learn how to please someone. Aha! Communication, communication, lalalalalalala. But, I don't think that's the main problem here. It's the husband. You can say whatever you want, but a 'wonderful', decent person wouldn't be soo mean. He agreed with the stupidity to wait with sex, he can live with the consequences. Instead of blaming her, he could shut his mouth and only open it to give her directions, to communicate. Or to give oral, ofcourse.
Yes, yes, ofcourse, they can have had very good and solid reasons - eventhough I can't find a single one - but there are yet so many FML's, so many marriage problems and divorces because of a bad sexual chemistry that I would think people would learn about it. Certainly if they aren't virgins anymore, that's just asking for problems.
Exactly. If they weren't virgins to begin with, there's always going to be someone else to compare to, even if you really love this person. The fact that they are both able to compare (having had at least one other partner before) and still decided to wait is asking for trouble, even if they have "good reasons," whatever these may be. These "good reasons" may have been logical, but we're dealing with the emotional aspects of the relationship here, and these two obviously do not always coincide. Therefore, if that ship has sailed, there's no reason for them to try to anchor it until the wedding night!
I ager 100% that sex before marriage is so important. you may love someone but how so you know if its sexual or just friendship? there have been people I have loved but the sex was HORRIBLE I couldn't image having to be with only him for the rest of my life. sex is a huge part of marriage always try it first
And that's why you should take a car for a test-drive before buying it. But hey, he did say for better and for WORSE, right?