Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
DidHeJustSayThat 0
wow.. that happens? lmao
sam102795 0
did you both speed marriage just to have sex?
MegMM 0
get him to watch **** an learn some new things. it takes awhile to learn. no one on BORN knowing how to have sex!!
derschadenfreude 5
either you two idiots waited until marriage to have sex, in which case YDI or this is your first time with this particular guy and you just chose to make him wait until marrying you to have sex with him, which makes you deserve it more. either way, YDI.
KristieGnar 0
test drive before you buy.
Haberdashery 0
Sex is not like test driving a car. With cars, test driving usually leads to purchase. With sex, test driving just leads to more test driving.
saks_fml 0
How would you even know what good sex is? iI's your first time. Post a story like this when you're more experienced (:
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
oh that sucks.
missheep 0
The first time with my boyfried was soooo bad. But we just kept practicing a lot and now, a year later, is really great.
leena24 11
this is where the saying "try before you buy" comes from...
xXLenaXx 0
agree with 128! how much of a bitch are you for posting this as an fml about your HUSBAND?? is it really that difficult to just TALK to him? since, you know, that's kind of what you should be able to do. YDI for marrying without being able to communicate with your own husband. i feel so sorry for him for having such a bitch. : *hugs him*