By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 412
You deserved it 4 785

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)

IronMan3758 4

That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"


That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)

who knows, it could be a "man purse", or a "satchel" for those in denial.

LulusLemon 8

what would a lesbian be doing with a condom in the first place, and second of all, how would a border guard know her sexual preferences?

A lot of lesbians actually do use condoms, especially if you are sharing toys as to not be too risky.

37- Who said the border guard knew about her sexual preferences ? Do you understand what the cop was implying ?

thehornytoad 7

damn, u sayin that and ur picture, man ;)

of course I do 70, after all what do I look like, a moron who cant read the comment right above mine? it would seem I dont, maybe its just you.

She might've been referring to the fact that you don't have a penis but you interpreted it wrong because I find it hard to believe there's so many people out there that bluntly disrespect someone like this.

US border guards? You bet they would. The author Peter Watts got stopped by them on his way BACK into Canada, and they tasered him because he said "what?" instead of instantly hitting the deck when they told him to get down. They then slung him in a cell for several hours, and kicked him out in the snow in his shirt. To add insult to injury, they charged him with assault for not hitting the deck, which means he can't sue or anything.

imtooshy 18

Should of asked her if you could borrow her handcuffs ;-)

"Silently say"? Guys, OP is an alien.

I was wondering why this wasn't the first comment. Hahaha

It's the "Boarder Patrol", they were searching for any sketchy looking wood, and they found that OP had none.

IronMan3758 4

That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"

Quite the scheme, from Mexico to Canada to the US. No one will suspect it... (For those on mobile, OP is listed from Canada)

For those on PC or too lazy to update their app, the most recent version of the mobile app shows country of origin.

40-Or those that like the previous versions more than the most updated. (I love taking screenshots of amusing profile pictures....they're about .7cm x .7cm on newer version...)

I still love the potential for what OP could have also said. Officer: "Are you carrying any illegal items across the border?" OP: "One second Officer, HEY YOU PENDEJOS IN THE BACK KEEP IT DOWN!".

Justy101 23

42 - I'm using the newest version. If you tap on the prof pic, it will fill the whole screen. Just saying...

Well if she's working border patrol I can't imagine that she'd need it either. Unless she likes getting it on with the Mexicans she finds going across.

WhisperSoflty 20

Cue the awkward moment when you realize that the OP is from Canada... The US has two land borders guarded by border patrol, north and south.

Crap, didn't see that she was from Canada.... My bad. Sorry guys.

hannahsnyder69 16

Am I the only one who noticed that OP didn't put closing quotations? :c

I noticed that too. Along with "boArder" patrol and as many have pointed out "silently say". This FML is giving me an aneurysm, hope the admins fix it soon!

Not normally something a police officer would say .-. She must have issues

From the accounts, a lot of them seem to "have issues".

#65 - Then again, this is also a site where people come to post about how they've been screwed over and the like.

perdix 29

"Yes, I will, I need to make balloon animals."