By T-Guy - 03/07/2011 03:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 291
You deserved it 50 945

Same thing different taste

Top comments

fatalkiss 0

Did you at least get to finish before you got busted?

are you sure you used the right spice homie?


block1 2

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It would have to be some pretty hot kinky sex with spicy balls to make this worth it.

Lumenoire 0

Sugar and spice, and everything nice..

I once had sex in public, I enjoyed it, but I'm not to sure the squirrel did.

I did it in public one time, but inside of my car, the officer told us not to do it again. lmao.

KingGeorgeGal 12

BooHoo, I bet the adventure was worth it, you deserved it for getting caught (;

laueadavenn 0

next time "spice" it up on the kitchen table. not in publicc! duh lol

How about some foreplay nexttime instead? She can be a sandwich maker who Is coming on to you in the kitchen?

I'm just glad I have evaded the law so far. :p

30 minutes isn't that long. you all must be virgins or watch too much ****. some people can go for hours.. it depends on how much energy you both have and how much of a sex virgin the guy is.

flockz 19

....or how wide the ****** is.....

flockz 19

i mean u can throw a hotdog down a hallway but u will rarely hit anything...

that's true. just enjoy it before the kids.. after that it's like.. yah.

KingGeorgeGal 12
RedPillSucks 31

@160, You only need to go for hours if you can't get the girl to the big O

TheRealBruce 12

heyy y'all 44 is the squirrel okay?

That is the funniest ******* thing I have ever heard.

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Think about the children! :O

AcidRayn 0

the taboo of it makes it more exciting

Mattxy8 5

that rule is only for fat people

Idiot. Everyone knows you can't get caught!!!!!!!!

iSitt 0

it wouldn't be exciting if there wasn't real risk.

Had a gf like that once - she always wanted to have sex in public. For me that was just to weird, just not my thing, you know? So I broke up with her after one year.

^cool life story everyone found it interesting

HelloNoora1 0

this FML sounds like the one where a kid said "Today I had to pick up my parents in jail for having sex in the park behind a bush. FML".

cool story bro. jk no one gives a ****

brandihoiberg 7

OP is an idiot, if your going to have sex in the park, you have it quick fast and dirty!! Not a 30 min love fest!! YDI

are you sure you used the right spice homie?

baby spice? (to everyone under 15, she was a Spice Girl, the equivalent of a 1990's female Justin Bieber)

ImaWiseGuy 5

haha, don't lie... you kno you were volunteering your reason for being in there to the other innocent men in jail...

78 - people don't know who baby spice is?! you're making me feel old and I'm only 18 haha

maslover 0

118- I'm 14 and I loved the spice girls movie when I was like 6 or 7 lol

I was just putting that there ahead of time for any little kiddies that didn't know. I'm not much older than you. Don't fret.

AcidRaen 4

well those little kiddies shouldn't even be on here. should they?

tandem123 6

he should use something a little less spicy next time.

171, preferably no, they shouldn't. But as I'm sure you know, they are definitely on this website.

fatalkiss 0

Did you at least get to finish before you got busted?

bust your nut before they bust you!

24 - I cant stop laughing at your pic

6-Maybe just as he was about to finish, the cop grabbed him and twisted him around and the guy jizzed in the cop's face. Too much?

I like your pic fellow bread enthusiast

mynameisusername 4

Tell the cop that if he lets you finish he can taze you. Problem solved.

metfanatic1986 0

that is about to be my new usernames. The Bread Enthusiast

noobgang7 5

Have sex in jail if you want spice

Then don't have sex in the park no more ;D

jamieleigh_315 0

What's more scarier about his picture, is that it may really be him?!

His picture made me want to kill myself for a split second. That's how long it took me to react and throw my phone on the ground. It's got an otter box though, so it's cool.

Your kitty looks like my kitty but I'm not sure because your picture is a bit dark. My kiity's name is Spazzy.

Well my cat, Blackie, isn't really a kitty since she's 19 years old. I would call her should-be-deady.

TripOnShoelaces 0

Psh. Been there, done that.

fatalkiss 0

Dude, you're 15. It is ultimately up to you to **** your brains out (though you're still a child & not even at the age of consent yet), but why announce your (publicly done) sexual deeds?

I agree 33, it's not something you should tell the world, especially at that young of an age! That is definitely not something to be proud of...

I can sense her desperation. Or perhaps the desperation of whoever laid with that.

Don't worry, everyone. She is of legal **** age.

TripOnShoelaces 0

Lol, chill. How do you even know I was kidding or not? Way to take things way too literally. My cliche' statement that has been posted should have been overlooked. If it bothers you so much for my age factor, then go **** someone or something, I don't care. Besides, true or not, how I live my life does not mean it should coincide with yours.

Petting butthurt over people's opinions of you isn't a healthy hobby. Perhaps you take things too seriously. Stay golden, pony boy.

auto-correct failure! Getting* meh. not-so-smart-smartphones have ways with words.

FiestaInMyPants 8

You posted a comment so it could be overlooked? O.o

FiestaInMyPants 8

You posted a comment so it could be overlooked? O.o

TripOnShoelaces 0

Ah, perhaps. Or maybe it was just a simple clarification. We're all just silly Internet people.

"how I live my life does not mean it should coincide with yours." That makes no damn sense. Lay off the dick, go get some book learning, and come back.

TripOnShoelaces 0

Uh, yeah. It does. Before you claim me of any ignorance, you should read up in the dictionary as well. If I'm wrong, then prove it. I'd love to learn, especially from someone who claims they are as intellectually inclined as YOU.(;

TripOnShoelaces 0

Too bad you didn't see the previous comments of the clarification before the mods deleted them, stating that I WAS JOKING. Simple mistake. >.>

Its pretty simple to prove you wrong. It just didn't make sense. I honestly don't know what you meant by it. But "coincide" was definitely not the word you were looking for.

TripOnShoelaces 0
AaronTkr 0

JAYQUAAN :D dat broke azz nigga. @8

balest22 0

Can't pull that shit in Arizona?!? Maybe Detroit, But not Arizona.

Maybe next time, go at 2 am when there won't be anyone there.

So...did you finish in the holding cell?

they probably had a threesome when OP became someone's bitch

Hahahaha that's awesome! while it lasted ;)