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50 shades of tears...

Never try something new in bed unless you ask your partner. You wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable.

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Ouch, well I hope you at least asked her if she's alright...

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#28 just because she is sensitive on her butt doesn't make her a toddle, pervert.

She's not really in any pain, she's just crying because she's upset about the size of your penis, so keep on tappin' dat ass!

Clever, Futacy, I'm sure that's it.

Please thumb down this comment.

DILDO not sliding -_- fucking typos.....Today, at the water park, my grandmothers boob slipped out. Everytime I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FMLToday, at the water park, my grandmothers boob slipped out. Everytime I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind.

Are you alright 139?

Did you use the tears as lube?

Wtf? That makes no sense..

A lot of people would prefer you not do that. It seems like a mean thing to do anyway.

The same thing happened to me, except he slapped me across the face.. When a guy gets into it, there's just more force than there is meant to be. Just let her cry it out for a few and apologize, then she'll be good for round two.

YDI for pimp slapping your girlfriend!

You posted on the wrong FML I think.

^^ you posted on the wrong FML i think

I hope you get better

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'spontaneous'

And if your partner isn't into being spontaneous? You should talk about boundaries before getting intimate. If your partner says it's okay to surprise them, go for it. If not, you have to know your limits.

Or at the very least, start with soft taps!

YES! That's why I don't understand why so many people said "I agree, your life sucks" rather than YDI. OP's gf may 1.) not find pleasure in being spanked or 2.) have been physically abused when younger or by a past partner and thus spanking may be triggering or 3.) etc. ANY of those reasons are perfectly legitimate! I hope OP stopped right there for an apparently much-needed discussion....

Maybe she'd be okay with it if spelled spontaneously right.

22 - Surprise anal is spontaneous too, doesn't mean every girl wants it. 179 - spelling has nothing to do with verbal English, so no, I doubt that matters.

Boy, put down that copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. PUT IT DOWN.

211, that is a hugely overblown comparison. That's like a guy saying he went hunting and you tell him to stop making deer go extinct.

Oh it's a fucking spanking. Not a choke hold and a golden shower. She's just being a baby!

169 What you're saying does make sense, and if she were a victim of abuse, giving the context of this story, obviously the poster was unaware of it and didn't mean any harm. If anything, if she actually were an abuse victim, I think she should've told him about her past before deciding to have sex so he wouldn't do anything to make her feel uncomfortable.

Right on that ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass. Stop now it's mother fucking crying time. Go stupid....

Ew, Nicki Minaj

Big Sean impersonation? Watch out, we got a badass over hur.

Take it down a notch amazon man(; ha, kidding

Woah! Kids are learning so much faster now a days.

Blame society I guess.

. Sole girls tend to be more sensitive than others. Don't worry OP make it up to her

Some* i swear i edit it at the end I guess it didn't go through.

You knew what he meant, why bother correcting him. Unnecessary

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No, she's just hurt.

I gave this a thumbs up...jus sayin

not called for

Bad babaloo, Bad! *smacks nose with rolled up news paper*

Well, they're going to be sensitive if you call them "bitches"

Hahaha didn't this happen in some shitty Ben Stiller movie? It happened in a movie, I'm sure of it...

50 shades of tears...

This comment = a win. Codos to you good sir!

53 - It's spelled "kudos", unless you were aiming for something else. :)

I've never used the phrase before so i didn't know, apologies.

Ethos to you sir! Wait....

Logos to you!

71- Rhetoric?

108, google it. You just made me facepalm.

108- I really hope you're joking.

Close guess. Ethos is a type of rhetorical appeal.

167 I didn't even see that haha well I'm glad that they know what rhetoric is AND know how to spell.

Alright if nobody else is gonna say it.... Pathos?

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I think there's a difference between kinky and abusive.

I wasn't being serious but I'm used to people taking things too seriously on this site so it's ok :D life is good

^ Kinky compared to abusive.....kinda like the difference between erotic and fetish: one's using a feather in the bedroom. The other, the whole chicken. ;P