Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life,...

By T-Guy - 03/07/2011 03:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 291

You deserved it 50 945

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Same thing different taste

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 67 173

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 03:27 - United States

Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 209

You deserved it 54 687

By Khrixas_069 - 18/06/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 722

You deserved it 58 644

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 1 892

Consent

By jon - 31/08/2012 21:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 18 091

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 983

You deserved it 9 469

Straight to jail

By Miss bad decisions - 03/11/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 810

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 762

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 710

Great timing

By mylo - 03/12/2022 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to spice things up and do 69. My mom walked in on us right as we came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 549

fatalkiss 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 9:12

Did you at least get to finish before you got busted?

ceepevoy 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 9:11

are you sure you used the right spice homie?

Comments

KaylieBieber13 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 15:46

i wouldve had sex in the cell

CaptainDouche 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 16:35

Judging by your picture, yes you're totally right. Might wanna lube your virgin boy asshole though.

WizardOfOzLA 2

Sunday 3 July 2011 16:23

did u try to spice it up in ur cell ?

Mice_fml 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 16:34

3some in the cell

nfc14 2

Sunday 3 July 2011 16:36

Worth it

coltsrock37 15

Sunday 3 July 2011 17:32

as they always say, if she's puttin' out in the park, they'll find an open space for you in jail

ogplusog 4

Sunday 3 July 2011 17:39

Should have done it there too!

kaykay20 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 17:43

Staying at home is a good option you can always try role-play or just try new positions. No need to go to public places to do that.

StudMuffim 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 18:08

spice like that should have only lasted a few minutes. ur he-man like libido is to blame.

ThorneCrossed 9

Sunday 3 July 2011 18:38

why the hell do people think it's okay to have sex in public? no one else, short of the creepy people, wants to see it. leave it at home

sorielangelfyre 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 18:42

30 minutes of fun with 7 hours of jail... I think that's the same ratio that my marriage has

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 112

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 008

You deserved it 21 832

The Top

Today, my fiancé finally went to a therapy session with me because of the difficult circumstances we are facing. Afterwards, he shouted at me for "talking to someone about our problems". I told him that's kind of the point of therapy. Now he's sulking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 577

You deserved it 2 200

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "To put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 096

You deserved it 9 409

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 685

You deserved it 5 695

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 105

You deserved it 2 988

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 463

You deserved it 32 142

Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 054

You deserved it 298

Same thing different taste

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