Work: Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion...

By Snurkles McGee - 22/05/2013 21:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 441

You deserved it 3 654

Work

Mother of the year

I'm parked here!

This Charming Man

By Natasha - 29/10/2015 08:58 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got so desperate for cash that I decided to start selling my used panties online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 667

You deserved it 7 230

By Anonymous - 20/08/2017 20:00

Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 412

You deserved it 374

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 21:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 356

You deserved it 5 496

By single pringle - 05/11/2014 01:16 - United States - Morristown

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 845

You deserved it 4 413

My eyes are up here

By LonelyCashier - 11/07/2019 20:00

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 193

By JeezAndAges - 24/11/2018 05:00

Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 589

You deserved it 428

By relievedbutashamed - 22/02/2019 20:00

Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 387

Jesus freak

By Max Flynn - 20/05/2011 10:07

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 332

You deserved it 15 691

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 00:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 424

You deserved it 4 879

By fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 968

You deserved it 3 650

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 176

By sandiego - 22/02/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 755

You deserved it 2 811

By onemoreruinedthing - 24/01/2010 00:26 - United States

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 535

You deserved it 2 643

By speechless - 07/12/2018 11:30 - United States

Today, I have laryngitis and can’t speak at all. I went to make myself some breakfast and my mom kept asking me questions, to which I replied with nods and head shakes. She said, in a condescending voice, that I need to use my “big girl words” and will keep using her “baby voice” until I do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 836

You deserved it 190

By Tiffer27 - 25/01/2016 18:02 - United States

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 401

You deserved it 2 430

By Anonymous - 04/01/2013 06:18 - United States - La Marque

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 556

You deserved it 7 908

By Ariel_Mariaa - 04/11/2011 23:25 - Canada

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 476

You deserved it 4 267

#Childfree

By ChildFree - 20/04/2015 23:55 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 527

You deserved it 4 567

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 497

You deserved it 27 520

Happy Reset Day!

By TheSaddestSpiceMeatball - 30/10/2019 16:00

Today, it was mine and my fiancé's 4 year anniversary. What did he get me? Nothing, but I did find out he's been cheating on me with multiple women. Guess I’m back to 0 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 146

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 7 760

By kaylashay2k13 - 17/05/2016 14:18 - United States - Mission

Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 969

You deserved it 1 092

By MarcusJones713 - 08/04/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, I was at the gym with my friends when they invited me to do a few bench presses. Since I'd never done any before, I decided to start with no weights on the bar and work my way up from there. I wound up pinned beneath the bar, calling for my friend to come free me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 776

You deserved it 22 637

By PunkChik27 - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 063

You deserved it 4 451

Sage advice

By jcc - 24/02/2009 08:31 - Russian Federation

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 514

You deserved it 5 544

By _Emilyy - 12/07/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 447

You deserved it 10 489

By shelby - 30/03/2011 04:54 - United States

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 436

You deserved it 27 309

By JD - 02/02/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 664

You deserved it 10 412

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 12:00

Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 132

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 486

You deserved it 28 554

By "wolfssb135" - 23/10/2017 22:00

Today, I deeply underestimated my baby nephew's climbing skills. I returned from the bathroom to find a broken vase, spilled powder formula, and my phone wiped clean from too many incorrect password attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 227

You deserved it 1 017

By telefucked - 31/07/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 540

You deserved it 4 206

By buses suck - 15/11/2015 06:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I regret asking my neighbor to turn down his music last night. When I left for work, I found his car parked so close to mine that I couldn't squeeze between them. His wife's was parked the same way on the other side. They wouldn't answer their door and I ended up being late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 369

You deserved it 2 219

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 109

By professorsdaughter - 19/06/2014 05:28 - United States - Spokane

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 663

You deserved it 4 828

By staciefacecat - 14/06/2016 01:03

Today, my drunk boyfriend flipped out and told me I was a total control freak, and that he couldn't handle how weird and clingy I am. All I did was ask if his phone was charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 025

You deserved it 1 519

By Yes - 24/11/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 417

You deserved it 3 352

By fatty milkshakes - 29/01/2013 22:56 - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 089

You deserved it 9 152

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 2 335

Amazon addict

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my husband spent us into overdraft charges through compulsive online shopping. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 176

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Top comments

flockz 19

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Thursday 23 May 2013 8:59

bosses look down the corporate tree and see shit. the employees look up and see nothing but assholes.

grahmagog 14

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Thursday 23 May 2013 8:58

An excellent working enviroment there

grahmagog 14

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Thursday 23 May 2013 8:58

An excellent working enviroment there

imyy 20

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Friday 24 May 2013 4:53

With a name like Snurkles, she shouldn't expect a promotion...

flockz 19

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Thursday 23 May 2013 8:59

bosses look down the corporate tree and see shit. the employees look up and see nothing but assholes.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:12

2 - It makes sense when you combine both together: shit is down the tree because assholes are further up it. Simple physics!

flockz 19

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:22

you're like my comment wingman who happens to also be a classy dog. i shall call you wingdog.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:34

16 - I've always wanted to fly, so I approve the appellation of "wingdog".

Nilorak 24

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:00

Liar liar pants on fire.

Welshite 39

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:01

Set her pants on fire.

LeonKennedy45 10

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:01

Your boss is a troll

ItsAnanya 25

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Thursday 23 May 2013 11:57

Your picture goes so well with the comment. Ahaha x]

mpsteve137 15

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:01

I guess I can't beat 2's comment. His lies will catch up to him eventually though

Prolux_fml 23

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:17

OP's boss is a Female.

Allennis44 16

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Friday 24 May 2013 6:16

Nobody can

worldclassrager 39

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:03

She just admitted she was a liar...so she is a truth teller?

Welshite 39

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:10

I was just about to head off to bed...and then I read your comment. Thank you, #7, for the paradox that is going to mess with my head for the rest of the night.

RodzillaX 30

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:44

Stop trying to break the internet!

worldclassrager 39

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Monday 27 May 2013 8:46

Sorry if I kept you up all night...

mackdeezy 22

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:08

Have your child wish she cant lie for a whole day :p

Imhere4fml 24

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:21

What?

Sir_ND_Pity 35

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:28

15 - I think 9 was referring to a movie called "Liar Liar". Here's the IMDb summary: "A fast track lawyer can't lie for 24 hours due to his son's birthday wish after the lawyer turns his son down for the last time."

neeni88 23

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Thursday 23 May 2013 19:29

That movie is funny as hell! And that's no lie!!

Reaper1984 13

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:17

It sounds like you need a job where your supervisors have something called integrity.

darwinism 30

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:17

Next time she verbally gives you a big or important task just ignore it and don't do it. When she confronts you about it just say "oh, I thought you were lying about that too".

RodzillaX 30

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Thursday 23 May 2013 9:46

Then when she fires you just show up again the next day and say "oh I thought you were lying about that as well." Then get escorted out, go home and cry...as your life goes down into a spiral of self loathing and dread.

EvilUndead 9

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Thursday 23 May 2013 11:28

23, Everybody changes/loses job once in a while, don't be dramatic about it.

RodzillaX 30

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Thursday 23 May 2013 15:34

It's called a dry sense of humor.

jatinbhanot 6

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Thursday 23 May 2013 17:53

Just in case you decide to take the advice would be a good idea to have a backup job before you pull something like that off with your @$$hole of a boss... :)

Offspring_fml 27

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Friday 24 May 2013 4:11

I also thought the next time the boss calls OP into work on an offday, he should agree and not show up. Then tell her upon his next day, "Oh you should know by now that I'm a liar. It's not my fault you believe everything I say."