By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 20:19 - United States - Renton

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 717
You deserved it 2 218

Same thing different taste

Top comments

olpally 32

*jeopardy music plays* while waiting for this first comment to get modded.


Lmaoooo my comment is total shit. In fact, I'm not sure why I even commented. You'd think I'd keep the inane TXT language to actual text messages, right? Ah well, **** my life; **** it hard.

*insert comment about how unnecessary #1's comment is*

olpally 32

*jeopardy music plays* while waiting for this first comment to get modded.

unknown_user5566 26

20- It appears that you got your wish. ;) The mods took their Golden Hammer of Justice, and smashed #1 right in the face.

Keliosan 6

Stoning is so barbaric...what if we miss? Or run out of stones?? Baseball bats are so much more efficient.

I thought 1 had a nervous breakdown... But if the Mods changed it, then right you are! I'm sure it did suck. And as for the FML, I think that your dad may be on too something.. Or off his meds. You should argue back that Gandalf is the anti-Christ.

silbot 11

#1's comment made about as much sense as the FML did

I think this is a good solution to those asshats who post "first" or other stupid comments.

thatKidzmOm 10

Another one bites the dust!!!!!

Thou shall not go into your overdraft!!!

KiddNYC1O 20

She not need to move, she is omnipresent. Which is why I like to play Dane Cook's Vicious Circle in the background while hoping she can hear it. :D

Now I really want to know what the originial comment looked like.

Can someone tell us what the original comment was?

unknown_user5566 26

I would explain what the original comment was, but after reading it, a large group of my brain cells jumped off of a cliff an committed suicide. As a result, my memory is ****** and I am unable to recall the actual verbiage.

SenselessPattern 12

Wish they had a "before" and "after" to show just how effective the magic of modding can be.

Thou shall not go into your overdraft!!!

He is very right without those corrupt there will be no film industry. Rich don't become rich by emptying their pockets

Keep him away from game of thrones....

Laby_fml 9

He's clearly on to something. Genius

russianmartini 2

I have no idea what today about this...

unknown_user5566 26

3- Commenting after reading an FML is completely optional. If you don't know what to say, well, don't say anything at all.

SecretMe00 5

People's comments are sucking recently. Ya know, I love reading the actual FML, but I also look forward to the comments so people get your act together!

52-On behalf of all FMLers, I deeply apologize for your dissatisfaction with our recent performances. We have been commenting mindlessly, completely forgetting that this whole time our sole purpose has been to entertain you. I will make sure we all review our scripts to ensure that we minimize any firstgasms, and keep the creative juices flowing. Once again, we apologize for our selfishness. Very sincerely, The FML Community ...just kidding. I actually agree with you. Partially. Hopefully the haze of stupidity will lift soon.

SenselessPattern 12

How the **** did 3's comment make me laugh? Damn the Hilarity of non-sensical statements. Gets me every time.

KittyJay 3

Weird... When my dad was going through mid-life crisis, he just bought a new car and started working out more.

Mid-life crisis/delusional paranoia, tomato/tomoto...

lordEast 6

Your dad is gay. Search his Internet history it's a study done by UCLA

He is probably worried about 12.12.12 Is bullshit of course but midlife crisis or not, quite a few people think the world ends on this day.

It's 12.12.12? I thought it was Dec. 22 haha yeea it's bullshit. But does anyone know the correct date? Me and my sister are getting high on that day and are watching 2012 Then laugh at alll the dumb bitches freaking out.

MrSnoopyJ 1

It's December 21st* 2012. Not the 22nd.

The Miyans predicted December 21st 2012.

SuperDerp 8

The mayans didn't predict the world would end; instead that date is thought to be the begining of a new age (if that makes any sense). So its total bs people would think this would happen.

xoconnie 8

^^ in kind of a psychotic crazy way, I agree.

I think it goes like this: 1.One ring that rules them all (ring means money and power, belonging to finance industry) 2. Other rings exist, other kingdoms (other industries) 3. Sauron is greedy, in need of power and control, will do anything for it, will destroy everyone else in pursuit of it (pursuit of money and the result is a suffering economy) 4. Two little, insignificant dwarfs from a random area are the ones who succeed and destroy Sauron through will and determination, with the help of a few powerful friends (one of the 99%-ers, against the 1%) I think this is what OP's dad was referring to. Time to call the Ents!!

the_anti_hipster 7

Do the Orcs symbolize Hilary Clinton? Cuz they could be twins.

ThecomingofTan 9

101, if the Orcs symbolize Hilary Clinton, then that explains why the Egyptian protesters threw tomatoes and chanted "Monica" at her a couple of days ago. It all makes sense now.

72 for the sake of clarity they are not dwarves, they are hobbits of the Shire

Be careful not to mention Star Wars, it will lead to another 2 hour discussion about how Lord Vader is a corrupt politician.

Father: "he is trying to steal all of the rebels oil and is going to close the border for all wookies and they would become illegal immigrants

MerrikBarbarian 9

But... The Empire uses solar power. *coughTIEs* it's those wasteful rebels who use fuel. So wasteful. All hail the Emperor! As to wookiees, who wants those loud hairy brutes shedding on our great empire? :p

lordEast 6

And dont forget the commie rebel scum with theyre smuggling and jungle guerilla warfare. And theyre terrorists

But I heard Lord Vader wasn't good with money. And in this economy (the economy of the future) that makes you a bad politician. In fact you can even find ads talking about how he relocated all the rebel's enterprises to other planets, terminating thousands of jobs, only for a few space credits.

olpally 32

Must be one hell of a mid-life crisis if he has time to rant about the lord of the rings for two hours. You should probably go out to the bar or something to liven him up a little bit.

Yeah, I mean, my Mum's gone to uni and my Dad's got a three-legged terrier, that's pretty much the extent of their mid-life crises. This guy sounds like he's been looking at "Literary Criticism for Conspiracy Theorists".

Yes, because clearly alcohol is EXACTLY what he needs...

olpally 32

I just suggested the bar, but I didn't say alcohol was the answer, did I? I just suggested op take him somewhere fun as well to help him out of his funk. Read my comment again... Jeez. I know alcohol is never the answer to a mid-life crisis.

minus20 4

That's not like any mid life crisis I've ever hear of