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Add a comment - Reply to : #
C.D. affects more than just the one person, it affects the whole family! Its hard on everyone. OP's sister could be 110% supportive and still get burned out. When dealing with a loved one with C.D. you help where you can and try not to do harm, that doesnt mean you cant voice an opinion. In fact maybe they are trying to get OP to realize how much of a burden he's been to try and get op to get help outside the home. Its possible its for OP'S own good. . .
"Legit depression"? WTF is that? Depression is not a medical condition. There is no depression bacteria, no depression virus, no physical evidence beyond the subjective fact that someone is feeling for shit for extended periods of time. There are medical conditions that can result in depression, but these medical conditions have names of their own and specific treatments. Just seeing a psychiatrist and getting handed a bunch of hard drugs after a 5 minute discussion that involved no clinical examination/testing doesn't make a depression any more "legit" than the next guy's/gal's. It's a purely subjective condition. And yes, OP, parading like the world's favorite victim, busting people balls all day long saying "poor me, woe is me" and firing up angrily at anyone who suggest otherwise makes you toxic for the people around you and if you started looking at how you can help them instead of dragging them down, you would probably feel better about yourself. And here come the downvotes from the idiots who still haven't figured out that there is value in just realizing that you are not a victim and that as long as hold your body or other people responsible for your long term feelings, life will continue to suck, no matter what happy drugs you take.
70- You clearly have a severe lack of understanding of what depression is. Firstly, there IS a lot of physical evidence for it. People with depression tend to have very different chemical balances in the brain compared to people without depression, and different levels of neurotransmitters (there's loads of evidence to suggest that people with depression have depleted levels of serotonin and noradrenaline in the limbic system and pfc), etc. It's hard to tell whether all of this is a cause of depression or an effect of depression but, still, there's your 'physical evidence'. Secondly, different people respond best to different treatments. My grandma and boyfriend both have depression. My grandma has hugely benefited from psychotherapy whereas my boyfriend has responded very well to SSRIs. In short, get your head out of your ass.
This is a difficult FML to vote on. OPs family may not understand mental health issues, being those people that say "why don't you just look to the positive?" And think that fixes it or OP could could be projecting her negativity on to her sister and excusing her behaviour with her illness so much that her sister just can't deal with it anymore and snapped. I've also known people to "self harm" (extremely light scratches on the wrist that look bad at the time but don't even leave scars)and fake depression just for the attention. mental illness is a difficult subject because no case is the same as the next
Are you people serious? This is the exact same point as the one 35 made (in response to 2); she just phrased it a bit poorly. Some people DO use their depression (or any mental illness, really) as a crutch in order to get away with shit, instead of actually getting help. There isn't enough detail in the FML to know whether the family is truly being ignorant and unsupportive, or whether OP is deliberately letting the problem drag on. That's all 5 was trying to find out.
The worrying thing is a lot of people's default reaction is to jump to "ur faking it!1!1!" or "its for attention!1!1" when of course *some* people use anything for attention the vast majority just want to get on with fighting their illness with as much support as possible. The default reaction should be empathy and caring not automatic assumption they're whining or whatever.
61 - True, and that should be the first reaction of anyone in real life. However, on fml it is pretty standard to try and work out whose fault it is in order to vote correctly and offer advice. People, myself included, tend to play devil's advocate even over the silliest things as they try to think about the situation from every angle. So it's not so much people being insensitive as 'playing the game'. They probably wouldn't be so critical in real life.
I can sympathize with depression - It runs in my family, I know what it can do. HOWEVER, I can also sympathize with your family, as sometimes it can be a real downer to watch a family member mope around all day, feeling sorry for themselves. It's not an easy ride, I get it. But sometimes, for the sake of your family, you need to pull yourself together.
That's the issue with clinical depression: pulling yourself together is nearly impossible. As a family, they should support OP. They should educate themselves on the situation and understand that OP isn't just trying to be a "downer" and legitimately needs help. It's the people who think depression is a joke that cause depressed people to end their lives.
I think #9 didn't meant it that harsh. It can be difficult seeing someone with depression, who is not using the help he/she can get. My mom refuses any treatment for years now. And to be honest I stopped making sure she is okay. She doesn't want any help, thats okay. But don't expect me to baby you then. In OPs situation there is not enough information to judge any side... just to realise it's hard for both sides.
If someone can just up and "pull themselves together", they probably don't have depression (or at least not a serious clinical case of it). AKA- shut the fuck up, because that's not how mental illness works. I can understand it being hard on loved ones because they have to bear the burden, too- not as much as the victim, but quite a lot. However, if anyone thinks that bitching TO the victim is any way to handle it (especially in an "oh ehm gee that's SO old" way), they need to step away and take the entitled stick out of their ass.
I can imagine they get tired of the wining that often accompanies 'clinical depression'. Life is though on everyone and the mentaly healthy people often wonder what makes you so special. It isn't right, but it's understandable.
I'm sorry, but where does it say the OP constantly complains about their problems? Contrary to apparently popular belief, a lot of depressed people DONT constantly complain and rather keep it all in to themselves- ESPECIALLY when their loved ones are unsupportive. Based on the sister's apparently snotty attitude, and the dad even agreeing with it, it's not a far stretch that the OP's mental illness simply exists near them (rather than OP complaining a lot) and they all just think OP is "going through a phase" or "just looking for attention". Those attitudes are MUCH more common than "they're good people who simply couldn't handle the pressure of being supportive".
10- What makes them "special", as you put it, is that they have an illness and you don't. Often, people with depression have very different chemical balances in the brain, different levels of neurotransmitters etc. compared to mentally healthy people. Clearly, that's going to have an effect.