By RedWaters - 06/03/2013 20:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 61 493
You deserved it 15 891

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tsent8 15

It's not his fault. He was just trying to get his people out of Egypt.


Why the hell would she want him, or would he want to **** her on her period? It seems like that would be much much better than the pusston massacre

Killmoose, you're being more of a killjoy.

Some guys are very horny and will **** anytime.. Others it's a fetish..

17 - I have sex with my girlfriend when she's on her period... It's really not a huge issue; we just keep foreplay to a minimum.

31- While reading your comment a case of temporary dyslexia hit me, and I read "I have sex with pies.."

For some men, sex with pies is considered favorable.

Well I guess if he said "spread your legs" she would have to expect 2 things -he wants to get period blood all over his penis -he's joking in some manor

I've had sex with girls on their period. It's not that bad, and there's even less of a chance of them getting pregnant.

#68 I could swear a girl could still get pregnant even during your period

HowieDoIt - Since moose are full of joy, killmoose is synonymous with killjoy.

100- It's true, by the 21gram test, Moose were found to lose 42grams of what scientists believe to be pure joy.

Not sure why 68 is getting thumbed down. He's right, girls are much less fertile while they're on their period. You release an egg about a week after you stop bleeding and sperm can't live in the woman's body for more than a week, so the only way you can get pregnant on your period is if you ovulate abnormally early that cycle.

103- Yes, they may not be in the proper phase, but that doesn't mean you're not fertile as ever. If I remember health class correctly, although unlikely, it may be possible for sperm to swim up to "Fallopian?" tube, fertilizing an egg even at this stage. I don't know for sure though, health class does lie a lot.

He has real good sense of humor! I have got to try that after baby comes

Oh dude you must be gloating on Red Sea! WTF

When did we swap to movie logic here?

17, you realize there are girls who are much hornier on their periods, right?

If you can walk through mud, you can **** through blood! :P

Tali147 16

Does anyone else feel weird saying "Moose" as the singular and plural. I feel like the saying should be "Meese are full of joy"

132- As a Canadian who has had to use the word their whole life, I couldn't agree with you more. If a goose in a group becomes geese, then a moose in a herd should almost definitely become meese, but no. The founders of the English language were probably playing a joke, either on us or the mighty, joyous moose. Either they wanted to make language feel clunky, or they thought the moose was such a simple creature as to only need one name, .. Jerks.

Tali147 16

Well I learned English as a second language, so imagine my confusion when studying plurals and they expected me to know that goose became geese but that moose didn't become meese. Also, the whole mouse > mice - house > houses thing got me.

108 - I can't believe you're getting thumbed up when you're saying things like "if I remember from health class correctly." Don't pretend you know about this stuff until you've at least taken a basic human physiology course. Yes, the sperm can swim up the tubes, but there won't actually be any egg to fertilize until the woman ovulates. A sperm can't fertilize the egg while it's still in the ovaries, otherwise it would be possible for pregnant women to get pregnant again when they're halfway though their pregnancy. Ask any doctor and they will tell you I'm right. Yes, a woman CAN get pregnant on her period. But it's very very unlikely.

157- I wasn't pretending to be an expert or a doctor, I even mentioned in the post that I may be recalling false information. I took health class, but human anatomy and biology are personal interests of mine so I have studied it, but not formally since grade 12 biology. Once again, I may just be quoting some misconception, but it's possible for women to get pregnant even after having their tubes tied(?), so are the Fallopian's really a necessary part of it? Probably, but there are other things going on. Also, when the egg is fertilized properly and lands in the uterus walls, hormones are quickly released to prevent just that, they cause things like a chemical "lock" to close on the ovaries, and the texture of the uterus to change to promote growth. In these conditions that little zygote will become a blastula, then the fetus that we all love and abort.

Seriously, that's funny stuff. Try not to hold it against him, you'd like him to be silly sometimes right?

tsent8 15

It's not his fault. He was just trying to get his people out of Egypt.

hellobobismyname 24

Out of Egypt and into the promised land.

skyeyez9 24

NO! I will not let them go, they are mine!

Beat me to it. Although i think he wants to let his people enter.

I think you mean get his pee-pole deep into the red sea....

ElementaryEdGuy 18

Plus it was total payback for dumping kitty litter all over your stepdaughter's bedsheets.

I agree, Egypt is hairy and rough, and at this time of the month, very dry.

Beware of the plagues if you say no though... O_o

weller0060 5

And then get his little guys into the promised land

Pandamonia88 9

Jew think he read the previous FML to get some inspiration?

I laughed reading this. Your boyfriend sounds awesome! C'mon.. xD

BellaBelle_fml 23

Agreed. Relationships are so much more fun when both parties have a sense of humour. Teasing, tickling, laughing, and even the occasional light wrestling are so awesome when you can enjoy such things with a life partner and someone you love. I have fibromyalgia, arthritis in my hips, knees, and even my ribcage, as well as Crohn's disease. So simply being hugged can hurt me. But I will NEVER deny my husband the joy of tickling me and such. My mother has these problems as well and she didn't let my dad do those things to her so he simply quit trying to have fun with her and it has put somewhat of a strain on their relationship. I simply will not allow that to happen to my marriage. The last thing I want is for my husband to think or feel like I don't want him to touch me or have any fun with me at all. To me it's more important to have fun with him and run the risk of him accidentally hurting me than to never laugh or play with me. Of course whenever I ask him to stop because it has become too painful for me, and I generally allow him to tease, wrestle, or tickle me for a good while before I do ask him to stop, he always stops and never complains. This makes my life so much more enjoyable. I love it. I love him. Also, even though I've never had sex on my period, I don't think there's anything wrong with it so long as both parties are ok with it.

For the record, I did read your comment. I was just being a goon.

BellaBelle_fml 23

Haha, I agree. I tend to not be able to write short comments. It is most likely because I've seen so many people attacked for not elaborating on exactly what they meant in their comment or being misinterpreted. So I try to prevent that by explaining my points as best as I can. Sometimes it works and other times I get thumbed down or attacked anyways. And I don't mind really. If I'm wrong then I do want to know I am wrong. The more you know…

106- reading your comment all I thought was "awww how sweet" .. Wish you and your husband all the best =)

It's mixture of "BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!" and "y'all are soooo going to hell" XD

Yea that does sound really nice that u do that with ur husband, that's what makes a good marriage. I wish u guys the best.

lmngrl889 14

As long as you don't catch the 10 plagues, you should be fine.

She already got the plague of blood. That's only the beginning. Let's hope it doesn't come down to death of firstborn.

The boils, frogs, and the drought would be really rough too...

"So let it be written, so let it be done, I'm sent here by the chosen one" ***I learnt all about the events-- including the10th plague by listening to Metallica's "Creeping Death" (:

Hopefully you just laughed it off too, otherwise your boyfriend may find himself wandering a desert of abstinence for years on end.