By Gaylord - 28/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Aspers

Today, I realized that my somewhat flamboyant behavior may have given people the wrong impression when my classmate tried to set me up with one of her male friends. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out all semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 811
You deserved it 2 185

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Explain to her that you're not gay, tons of girls like to hang around gay guys though, I'd ask her out OP, just do it.


Explain to her that you're not gay, tons of girls like to hang around gay guys though, I'd ask her out OP, just do it.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

It's frustrating that flamboyancy suddenly means "gay." Stereotypes suck ass. People can't be the way they want to be without being labeled because of a stereotype.

completely your own fault for making her think you're up a bit and then ask her out.

no, it's actually completely her fault for assuming and generalizing. not all flamboyant men are gay and not all gay men are flamboyant.

He should change who he is because other people make premature assumptions based on nothing but archaic stereotypes? That seems ridiculous and unfair, he shouldn't have to change himself to appease others and stupid expectations. How about we just not assume anything about anyone and instead, either ask, or wait until there's relatively clear evidence. The way someone acts, or their personality, is not proof of their sexuality.

Sorry chaps, I'm from the real world, not your safe space. People don't have enough time in their lives to get to know the "real" everyone. If your behavior fits a stereotype, you're going to be boxed in until YOU make it known that X attribute does not mean Y stereotype. Should this hold true for race/gender/etc? No. But your own behavior is a different story.

I think if someone is going to set someone up, they should try and know for sure that the person is the appropriate sexual orientation for the match.

I agree with 9 to an extent, but if you go far enough to set someone up you should be damn sure you're not making assumptions. Also, if you're gonna share your assumptions on someone's sexuality, you should at least know for sure that they are correct and that they are okay with you telling others, it's basic common courtesy.

are you really that ignorant? if you have the time to notice if someones flamboyant, then sterio type them,then set them up on a date you definitely have enough time to figure out if they're gay or not. another flaw in your argument is assuming I have to to prove anything to you. before you judge someone the responsibility falls on YOU to get to know them, if you don't have time for that then don't assume anything at all, it's really that simple.

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Geckosrock99 33

Well, I can see where she got confused, OP. Every flamboyant man I've met came out as gay. That's just my experience, though. Just explain to her the truth and hopefully she'll believe you.

I don't know why this was down voted. Many gay men are flamboyant and I am very much sure everyone including gays accused someone for being gay because of the way they behave. I wish people would stop acting like they don't ever do this themselves...

That doesn't make it okay. Everyone should learn and grow from their mistakes. There are also a lot more gay men than you realize that are not flamboyant. You just don't know they're gay because everyone assumes they're straight. It's the same for "fem" lesbians. How masculine or feminine someone is has nothing to do with their sexuality. You might assume something from a first impression of someone, that's just human nature to put people in boxes we understand. Just make sure you try to catch yourself when you do it and get to know the real person.

tantanpanda 26

It also really sucks when you're on the other side. If you don't dress the part or act like it, people assume you're straight.

******* assholes that think it's okay to just "assume" things and set people up for dates

Well good news is she probably already likes your personality , but at this point we think sweet sensitive guys are too good to be true " he must be gay" . Um I fell for a gay guy once and I was like " is there a chance ?" Ask her out . Don't act too offended :)

Have you seen the film Kick Ass? The girl thinks he's gay for a while, but then he explains everything and they get together. Take a chance and ask her.