Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
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Top comments
tsent8 15
It's not his fault. He was just trying to get his people out of Egypt.
k_ninjaa 9
At least he has a sense of humor!
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Comments (198)
FitForFun 11
Tell him that you already have a few of the plagues if you want him to stop fast.
ironichalibut 24
Nothing gets them running like boils, locusts and/or frogs. That would guarantee a Passover almost as effectively as blood on the door.
HowieDoIt 21
Your boyfriend Israeli funny, don't take it too seriously.
Pleonasm 35
Judah'nt have to tell me twice.
HowieDoIt 21
At that time of the month, just Leviticus-ing, anything more is gross.
I3eefChowFun 7
there should be a badge for puns. Jew two would totally get it.
Steve95401 49
That was a fail of biblical proportions.
perdix 29
Go down, Moses. Let my people come.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
*Grabs 48's staff* YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Omfgitsmia 15
He's a keeper lol
VannahJane 17
Thats what 3 said, your a bit late!
RaveBlade 4
You're*
InfernoVivo 12
His a bit late what?
DocBastard 38
I have Noah idea what he was thinking. I Cain not Eden believe he's do such a stupid thing. You should Adamantly demand an apology, Even if he thinks it was funny.
ironichalibut 24
I can't believe you were Able to fit in that many biblical names. I couldn't do that even if I was Luke-ing for them.
Pleonasm 35
I'm sure if we look through the books of Kings, we Canaan find a lot more where that came from.
HowieDoIt 21
You're making me cross all my good puns off the list! Mark my words, this thread's days are Numbered.
Pleonasm 35
No, there are still plenty of Revelations to be made, don't worry about that Howie. It would take a miracle for this FML comment to run out of steam.
ironichalibut 24
If Uriel serious about keeping the thread going, there's probably Psalm good ones still left, but after a few more of these Judas won't be able to keep it going.
TrueTriage 16
Isaiah I must agree with Pleo, E'noch like we can run out biblical names especially after all the great Proverbs we learn from FMLs and puns. I mean come on Babel don't Saul think Jonah come up with some more?
ShyAnn29 14
I had to read these comments slowly lol
alfred07 18
So how long until somebody crises bingo?
outoftown 26
Did he use a Charlton Heston voice?
noelleflores97 12
This is the best FML I've ever read!
tishtashbat 16
That's actually really funny. I hope you still had sex!
livkoko 15
Why did you think that spreading your legs whilst on your period would be sexy?
taranpreet 7
Lol she thought he was going to do it in a sensual way?
kawaiisakura 12
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this. Spreading your legs while blood will probably come out...how could that possibly be sexy??
HeartOfLead 24
Because she thought her boyfriend liked getting his noodle in meet sauce, yum!
wjh100 13
everyone acts like it just pour out its what a couple tablespoons all together get over it
irateyou 9
Ummm... You must have a really light period!