Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tsent8 15
It's not his fault. He was just trying to get his people out of Egypt.
k_ninjaa 9
At least he has a sense of humor!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
Melodija 19
Sounds like something my boyfriend would do
Wizzlbang 10
Marry that man.
Albarufus 13
Kick him in the face and give him his own Red Sea to divide.
travtxson 5
What's up with all the period fml's lately...
zandalee 19
Half of the worlds population has periods at some stage of their life...
ironichalibut 24
Ladies who use FML have their periods line up? I don't know, I honestly thought the same thing though, I guess periods are the bane of a lot of people's lives.
zandalee 19
Meh. Not so much. Not really a big deal for me... I've honestly never had PMS though so I think I'm a wee bit lucky...
Ameel_fml 19
It's not the PMS that gets me. It's the cramps and intense pain. So yeah, periods are pretty bad for some girls. Hell, I take the pill in order to skip a month (so I have 6 a year instead of 12) just because I hate having periods so much. :/
ShyAnn29 14
I had extremely terrible cramps, so I'm on the birth control shot, it makes my period stop completely, I haven't had one in years!
The_Thinker 18
Perhaps another day, he will truly wish to embark on a journey to the promised land.
GoodLookingGeese 10
You made my day :)
ReesesCups95 8
lmao thats something I can see my boyfriend doing to me =p hopefully you werent too mad
FMLforlife101 3
My full name is Mose. I do crap like all this all time. props bro.
baileymarie102 6
Lmfao. This is too great!
DocShady 11
I'm surprised he still wanted to part it after the 6th plague...
efelsh 14
Lol, You can't say you didn't set him up for that!