Intimacy: Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in...

By T1A2Z3 - 13/11/2018 03:00

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 268

You deserved it 406

Fête Nationale: Fireworks and Faux Pas
Celebrate the nation with stories where it's not just fireworks that sparkle! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 799

You deserved it 603

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 880

You deserved it 5 302

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 168

You deserved it 4 221

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 471

You deserved it 36 493

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 952

You deserved it 4 491

By forever alone - 19/06/2014 22:26 - United States - Pawling

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 069

You deserved it 7 461

By FUUUUCK - 11/02/2014 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 460

You deserved it 26 089

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 653

You deserved it 2 614

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 121

You deserved it 40 810

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 743

You deserved it 32 294

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:43

Never get between a boy and his mum — you might rubber the wrong way!

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:48

"Do you mind, mother, I'm in the middle of someone right now--I mean something!"

Comments

jobtokyo 8

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:06

“Now hang on, I can do both.....What??”

sunnyray812 42

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:11

It happens. Could have been important.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:23

Did you want him to put her on hold? Maybe she gave him some handy tips.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:43

Never get between a boy and his mum — you might rubber the wrong way!

WHSKitty4ever 23

Tuesday 13 November 2018 7:40

GROAN. LMAO.

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:48

"Do you mind, mother, I'm in the middle of someone right now--I mean something!"

Starstone Silvermoon 3

Tuesday 13 November 2018 4:29

should have yelled out, NEXT

whiskey'swino 15

Tuesday 13 November 2018 6:00

Did... did he remain in the mood and was ready after? So many questions.

WHSKitty4ever 23

Tuesday 13 November 2018 7:42

Inquiring minds want to know.

Charlie Given 26

Tuesday 13 November 2018 7:53

Follow up FOLLOW UP perverted and or inquiring minds want to know 😈

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 6 January 2019 13:38

Honestly just creeped me out so much I left 😂😂

GUYMAINE 16

Tuesday 13 November 2018 11:02

definitely sucks but what if it was an emergency

TxKitten79 10

Tuesday 13 November 2018 14:19

If you were able to get back in the mood and continue, oh well. Stuff happens. Now, if he answered in the middle of sex, that would be different.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stuck Awkward Confused Relatable Love Weird First Dates Weddings AITA Stalker Instagram Social Media My ex Music Cheating Furniture Introverts Cute Kids Friends Money Capitalism Food Pregnancy Health Healthy Lifestyle Dad jokes Sextoys Delivery

The Top

Today, I received an envelope from Verizon. I assumed it was my bill. I opened it and saw a Visa credit card offer so I quickly snapped it in half to prevent identity theft. Only after playing with the pieces for 10 minutes did I realize that it was the $100 rebate for my new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 233

You deserved it 62 941

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 346

You deserved it 4 189

The Top

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 3 201

Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 921

You deserved it 4 944

Today, it’s my birthday. My husband gave me quite the surprise. He shouldn’t have. He surprised me by letting me walking in on him doing my sister doggy-style on our bed. Happy Birthday! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 167

Today, as I was about to go to bed, the lid came off a brand new bottle of laundry detergent and it toppled down my carpeted basement steps. 3 hours, 2 dozen microfiber cloths, and a bucket of water later and my steps are still full of suds. I went to bed at 3 am and my 10 week old was up at 4 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 698

You deserved it 313

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 548

You deserved it 5 686

Today, I have a UTI. After taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side-effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 4 569

Same thing different taste

Mama's Boy

Privacy

Thanks dad…

Top comments

Comments