Intimacy: Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in...

By T1A2Z3 - 13/11/2018 03:00

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 401

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Same thing different taste

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 600

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 867

You deserved it 5 294

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 151

You deserved it 4 219

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 466

You deserved it 36 479

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 938

You deserved it 4 479

By forever alone - 19/06/2014 22:26 - United States - Pawling

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 050

You deserved it 7 456

By FUUUUCK - 11/02/2014 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 454

You deserved it 26 072

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 40 788

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:43

Never get between a boy and his mum — you might rubber the wrong way!

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:48

"Do you mind, mother, I'm in the middle of someone right now--I mean something!"

Comments

jobtokyo 8

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:06

“Now hang on, I can do both.....What??”

sunnyray812 42

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:11

It happens. Could have been important.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:23

Did you want him to put her on hold? Maybe she gave him some handy tips.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:43

Never get between a boy and his mum — you might rubber the wrong way!

WHSKitty4ever 23

Tuesday 13 November 2018 7:40

GROAN. LMAO.

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 13 November 2018 3:48

"Do you mind, mother, I'm in the middle of someone right now--I mean something!"

Starstone Silvermoon 3

Tuesday 13 November 2018 4:29

should have yelled out, NEXT

whiskey'swino 15

Tuesday 13 November 2018 6:00

Did... did he remain in the mood and was ready after? So many questions.

WHSKitty4ever 23

Tuesday 13 November 2018 7:42

Inquiring minds want to know.

Charlie Given 26

Tuesday 13 November 2018 7:53

Follow up FOLLOW UP perverted and or inquiring minds want to know 😈

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 6 January 2019 13:38

Honestly just creeped me out so much I left 😂😂

GUYMAINE 16

Tuesday 13 November 2018 11:02

definitely sucks but what if it was an emergency

TxKitten79 10

Tuesday 13 November 2018 14:19

If you were able to get back in the mood and continue, oh well. Stuff happens. Now, if he answered in the middle of sex, that would be different.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 645

You deserved it 3 494

Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn. Ike and Josephine want to come and say hi too. They’re not friends of ours, but rather the next cyclones that may pass by the island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 88

Today, just like the past 2 weeks, I'm so broke that I only got to eat dinner because I went on a first date with a guy from Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 452

You deserved it 2 702

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 026

You deserved it 24 114

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 189

You deserved it 25 360

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 1 076

Same thing different taste

Mama's Boy

Privacy

Thanks dad…

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